Anything plain can be lovely. And something imperfect can be beautiful.[8|?] [TEGOPI FANFICTION]

[yamap_oukoku]

Title: Anything plain can be lovely.
And something imperfect can be beautiful.
Chapter Title: The only thing I'll hold against me is a Picture of you tonight.
Chapter: 8 |?
Rating: PG 13 or more? 
(Only mentioning of alcohol and maybe language in some chapters)
Pairing: Tegoshi Yuya/Yamashita Tomohisa
Genre: Angst, Drama, Romance

Summary: Tegoshi's birthday is coming up but he's worried about how to celebrate it. Pi is having another heavy night out but gets to talk some more with Ryo. More TegoPi encouters following... [this summary sucks! gomen na... ]

Chapter 1  ||  Chapter 2  || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 ||

|| Chapter 6 ||  Chapter 7

I'll start with chapter 8 here but will update the next chapter too, just depends on how LJ is messing with me today ^-^



What are the odds of running into Yamapi on a day like this, in a city with millions of people? It’s just my luck that we always seem to bump into each other like that isn’t it?

Tegoshi let himself fall onto the sofa; he switched on the television and zapped through the channels.

Is that some kind of punishment? I have never meant to hurt anyone not even once in my life so what is this for? I never cheated at school and I never stole anyone’s lunch money. I never snatched on somebody and never blackmailed anyone. Even though I wasn’t the best student I always gave my best. Most kids didn’t mind me but the teachers didn’t hate me either.

Tegoshi settled with a boring comedy show he had already seen once and it didn’t even make him laugh back then.

Not to forget to mention I have always been a good son to my parents. I never forgot to pass on messages, missed phone calls or packages from the post man. I helped my mother to clean and tidy the house and I even cooked when she had been out all day. So why am I being punished like this? It’s not fair to be hurt so much and even worse, I don’t see an end to this.

He changed the channel once more, back to a drama show. The people on the screen looked sadder and bitter than he was. He sighed. It felt good to see people had problems like him, but he quickly erased that thought when he reminded himself that these people only had to act them and not live them. He sighed again, trying to think of something else to brighten his mood.

Soon his birthday would come up, he felt disappointed once more, and especially at the fact he won’t be able to spend it with Yamapi. When they were together he had already made plans for a great trip and everything he planned sounded perfect, and it was something he had always wished for. Tegoshi was sick of having a stupid old and super boring tea party with his family or ‘soccer party’ with his soccer friends. Hanging out with the boys, chatting, fooling around and eating cake and pizza already seemed too ordinary that it wasn’t anything special at all.

After he had just spent half of his day off with doing nothing but being depressed, he decided to call up his friends to plan a party after all. At least then he would have something to distract him and it’d be better than spend it with his parents anyways.

“Hey Yuya~ what’s up?”

“I’m just calling to see whether you are free on my birthday, I’d like for you to come down my place since I’m having a little party, what ya say?”

“Sure don’t need to ask, of course I’ll be there! I wanted to ask you about your birthday anyways so yeah count me in.”

“Cool~ so then I will see you tomorrow at soccer!”

Once he was done calling his friend list he kept on scanning through his phone’s address book, when he stopped at Massu’s number he thought whether it was a good idea to invite him too. If he did so, he would have to at least invite the others as well, whether they would come or not wasn’t in his power. Tegoshi would have liked for him and Keii-chan and Shige and Ryo to come but really, he didn’t want to see Yamapi here at all. It just would not have any effect of ‘distraction’ as he had originally planned. He dropped onto the floor and sighed at the difficult situation he had gotten himself into again, and ended up not inviting any of them.

[///]

Today was Friday, clubbing night. Or for Pi lately just another night out with his friends from collage, which would involve a lot of clubbing, drinking and dancing. Yamapi roamed the crowded club he used to visit often with Ryo and his old friends. He kept glancing around the room as if he was looking for something, or someone. He felt awkward lately, hanging out in clubs for he could bump into Tegoshi at any time. Tegoshi didn’t use go out as much as Yamapi but recently he was told Tegoshi had been seen around here quite often lately. Pi didn’t like the idea of Tegoshi hanging out at places like that, not really considering the fact he did and people could think the same of him. He weaved himself through the crowd of young people, dancing and talking in the dark open area of the night club. Yamapi didn’t want this to become his second home but could hardly think of anything else to do to get through the nights. The only light that filtered through was various neon lights from the tall and colorful decorated DJ's booth. On his way through the dance floor he kept bumping into people, some of them trying to stop him when they recognized him. They tried to pick up a conversation or cheered with their drinks but Yamapi ignored most of them and kept on walking blindly to the far right of the small, compacted room.

Lately he had been feeling really tense at the thought bumping into Tegoshi, but he didn’t know what else to do, since he wanted to come here after all. He cursed at some guy that tried to talk to him and pulled him at his leather jacket firmly. Yamapi brushed him off roughly and told him to get lost. damnit why am I so friggin strung up, I can’t be like that in public. He reminded himself to take it easy for he was kinda well known, that could ruin his image. He was in a bad mood from beginning with, that wasn’t a good way to start the night.

He already had lost his friend and therefore decided to hang out at the bar for a while until he would be found again. Yamapi ordered himself a beer, he liked to start out very simple and refreshing, for the heat got to him very quickly and soon sweat pearls were dripping down the back of his neck. He tipped his feet to the rhythm of the music, watching pretty girls getting picked up by strange looking guys. He shook his head and emptied his glass, deciding to order a second one later. He got bored of the sightings pretty quick and walked along the dance floor once more to reach the other bar that lay closer to the entrance. Various multicolored strobe lights flashed to the bass coming from the sub-woofers alongside the room, which affected his vision awfully. When he reached the other bar he quickly ordered another beer and turned to find a nice spot to watch the dancing crowd in the center of the club. The music was almost deafening at this corner of the building, most likely because ahead of him lay the filled dance floor. It hit him hard when he saw a familiar looking guy enter this area of the club. Isn’t that the one guy who he caught recently dinging out with Tegoshi? He didn’t doubt it when he noticed Tegoshi following him, closely holding on to his shoulders, weaving themselves through the throng of people dancing to the heavy bass and high sounds coming from the speakers of the club.

On his way back to the other side of the crowded club he took a quick detour and disappeared into the men’s room. On his way out he stopped at the bar and got himself another beer and continued to weave himself through the crowd of people, dancing and jamming to the music. Oh how he hated this place right now, he wished he hadn’t come here at all, but he knew he would have no matter how certain he was to find Tegoshi here as well. But why was he with that guy again? Not to mention the pretty girls…. Lost in his thoughts Yamapi didn’t notice what direction he was going or how many people he ran over just now. Holding his beer in his hand he had a hard time preventing it from spilling completely. Just when he thought he could see some clearing ahead of him someone pulled his arm and he turned, only to find his friend screaming at him, his words dying out with the loud music. Yamapi motioned toward the far end, saying he would wait for him there but the moment he turned back to where his friend was, he was gone. Damnit. Yamapi turned around thoughtlessly his gaze kept to the ground as he suddenly felt his drink pour all over him. “DAMNIT, don’t you have any eyes….” lifting his head he looked shocked into a pair of familiar dark brown eyes. “Ya-Yamashita-kun..whoooh~ I am I I am sorry I didn’t see you.” Yamapi stared at him not saying a word. He wanted to smack him really hard, not for ruining his shirt; he didn’t give a damn about the shirt but for being here. Especially hanging out with that guy… oh god Yamapi couldn’t believe how friggin jealous he was, maybe he should rather smack himself, he thought. “Yamashita-kun? I am really sorry…let me..” - “Don’t worry….” He replied with a low voice which could hardly be heard but Tegoshi understood. When Yamapi wanted to say something else, loud screams could be heard from what seemed behind him. “YUYA~~ come one will you ~” Tegoshi’s hand was being pulled by his friend, who repeatedly screamed his name. “I’m sorry I got to go, they won’t wait for me..I’m sorry I’ll make it up to you, promise!” Yamapi knew he had no right to be angry or offended but that didn’t help the fact that he actually was. He was deeply hurt as he watched Tegoshi, being pulled past the dancing men and women and disappeared within the crowd.

When he reached the far back corner of the club, where seats and a table were set up he settled at one of the empty chairs and let his head collapse on to the table. His eyes went dark almost pitch black and literally blank. His hand shaking, he dug into his pocket and reached for his phone. Without looking he dialed his best friend’s number and spoke with his voice shaking, almost unable for Ryo to understand him.

“Ryo, I..I.. can’t… take it any…more…I can’t..”

“Pi? Is that you? “

“I thought I could… but I can’t… I .. I don’t have a car, I drank too much and I can’t find my friend.”

“Where are you?”

“At the club..Somewhere..Where I am always at..You know..”

“Why don’t you take a cab?”

“I don’t .. I can’t .. please I...”

“Are you alright? Did something happen to you? Someone stole your money?”

But then Yamapi’s mobile phone went out due to low battery and Ryo kept on yelling into the speaker, realizing Yamapi wouldn’t answer to reasons unknown. Since he knew Pi for what seemed like decades they shared a deep friendship, therefore Ryo was worried deadly when his friend ended such phone call like this. He got up and rushed out the door, taking his car keys only. Pi and he went out a lot and he knew just where to find his friend.

[///]

“Let’s have another one! ….It’s on me!...” a blurred voice was yelling at Yamapi, he could hardly make out what his friend had said but nodded, fumbling with a piece of paper at the bar, watching his friend disappear again.

Moments later someone from behind patted him on his shoulder, “Hey, Pi~ gawd you’re ok?” Yamapi turned around in surprise, a soft smile forming on his lips once he recognizes his friend.

“Hey hey Ryo-chan!” he patted him on his shoulder, eagerly pulling him towards him by his shirt.

“Guess what? I’ve seen Tegoshi tonight!” Yamapi almost yelled into his friends face, his voice full of bitterness and anger.

“Is that so? And?” Ryo didn’t really know what was happening but he sensed something weird was going on, he hadn’t seen Yamapi look or act like that. Not even on his worst days. Not to forget the weird phone call and the sudden changes of expression on Yamapi’s face.

“Nothing. He’s having fun… A lot of friggin fun with tons of slutty strangers.”

“Well, Pi it’s a club so what do you expect would happen? And isn’t that good if he’s enjoying his time?” Ryo grabbed Pi by his arm, pulling him toward a table that had just been abandoned by two girls in really hot dresses. “Come here, sit down and tell me why you called and what’s going on here?” He almost pushed Pi on one of the chairs, making sure he’d really sit down and especially calm down. The moment Ryo wanted to take seat as well, Pi’s other friend came walking toward them.

“Now, here are you!!” He yelled at Pi, “Your drink.” and so he passed Yamapi a tall glass with sparkling orange liquid, which most likely consisted of at least 30% alcohol.

“Cheers ~” Pi yelled, picking up the glass and waving at his friend. Taking a sip, Pi shuttered at the taste but it didn’t stop him to take another sip before putting it down again.

“Ryo this is Bernd, Bernd this is Ryo, now let’s have fun! Cheers!” Yamapi lifted the drink that had barely touched the table and smiled a bitter smile.

“Yo man, that’s cool cool. But no chillin now! Gonna get around a lil and chat up some fresh lookin girls over there, right right.. so check ya later BigPi~” Bernd gave Pi high five and left.

“Nice friend you got, Pi.”

“Mh!” Pi smiled, nodding but not really knowing why he did act like that, cause he knew it was probably a situation he shouldn’t behaving like that. Strangely he didn’t really care either.

“I thought you had lost your friends? Wasn’t that why you called me?”

“I found him again!” Pi smiled a strange smile, “But yeeeeh he’s gone again..he’s always like that.. Leaves me sitting with nothing to do until I think he won’t return at all...but then he suddenly reappears out of nowhere...”

Ryo grabbed his chair and pulled it closer toward Yamapi and tried to pick up on a serious conversation. “Now do you wanna tell me what’s bugging you?”

“Oh Ryo…” Pi let his head fall into his hands and stared across the room into nothing. “..if you knew..”

“Knew what? Tell me Pi.. so I can understand.”

“I think I can’t.”

“You can’t? Why? You know you CAN tell me everything.”

“Right I know and I will tell you everything, except that. I can’t tell you that, really I don’t think it’s good if I tell you.”

“What do you mean by that?” Ryo grabbed Pi by his shoulder, making sure he’d look at him when he didn’t reply his question anymore.

”Pi, if it’s something so big that you can’t keep it to yourself anymore then you should talk about it, no matter what the result might be. It can only get better if I can help you, believe me. And you clearly can’t take it anymore so just tell me what’s bugging you. We can leave if you think it’s a bad place to talk!”

Pi fought with himself, trying to focus on something else and just ignore Ryo. He knew he’d be fine if he just ignored him.. but he couldn’t. Ryo was his friend and he tried to help. It was his own fault that he’d become so damn weak and emotional. If he had kept his stupid mouth shut for once he wouldn’t have to talk about it. He thought of a way not to talk about it but talk to Ryo. Should he tell a lie? But what lie? He wasn’t in the state to think of a really good lie and after all he didn’t wanna lie to Ryo no more.

Ryo kept repeating his words, hoping for a response from Yamapi who took another sip of his drink. As he placed the glass onto the table with a loud thud he looked at Ryo and said; “It’s Tegoshi.”

“What is with Tegoshi?”

“It’s Tegoshi. I’m in love with Tegoshi.”

“Pi. It’s not the time for jokes, really.”

Pi didn’t say anything but looked at his friend with an empty stare.

“Do you understand how serious this is? Why do you think you should joke with me when I am being only there to help you?”

Yamapi didn’t say anything in reply; he just kept looking at Ryo with a face that had ‘I tell the truth’ written all over it.

“Pi? You are..not joking are you?”

“damnit I knew it wasn’t good to tell you..” Pi threw his head to his right and covered his mouth with his hand that rested on the table. He tried to suppress his anger and frustration, he couldn’t let his sadness show any more, it was too embarrassing already and he knew Ryo would totally freak out. No he knew Ryo already freaked out. He could hear him scream inside.

His friend, next to him didn’t know what to say and took a drink of Pi’s cocktail instead. Putting down the glass noisy like it weighted 2kilo, he patted Pi on his back. “Do you, wanna talk about it?”

“There is not much to talk about actually.”

“Does he.. know about it?”

“Uh yes. Well maybe there is actually a lot to talk about …”

And so Yamapi told Ryo about their story and what had happened so far. Ryo listened closely and interested but also seemed to be freaked out a little.

“Well, Pi.. that’s .. a surprise you know..to hear all this.”

“I know and I wouldn’t believe myself if I were you. But please don’t ever tell any living soul about anything I told you.” Yamapi pleaded to his friend, knowing he wouldn’t talk.

“Of course I won’t tell anyone, you can count on me like always, “ Ryo gave Pi a nudge, “…but now everything seems to make sense!” Yamapi just sighed and emptied his glass.

“You know Pi, if you really love him then you have to fight. You can’t let things leave like they’re now if you know deep down these wounds won’t heal if it stays like that.”

“But Ryo I told you I messed up, I apologized, we talked and he said it won’t change anything. He made a decision and I have to accept it… and he never tried to talk about it again. So what am I supposed to do?”

“You didn’t say you actually talked about it after the first concert right? You said he didn’t answer after you apologized right?”

“Yes I guess that’s true, but..”

“No but’s! What if he’s just scared? And afraid he would look weak if he’d forgive you? You know Tegoshi right? You know how he is…you said he really loves you too so why would he want to be apart if he really does? It doesn’t make sense to me you know, you really have to talk to him.”

“I thought so too but I don’t think he’d wanna listen. I hurt him really bad. I wouldn’t wanna listen to myself if I were him. There is no reason he’d forgive me. I don’t deserve his love.”

“You are an idiot Pi, you know that right?”

“Shut up Ryo! …good for you I finished my drink or you would have to shower tonight.” Pi stuck out his tongue and thought about ordering something else.

“Seriously Pi, you need to talk to him and find closure.”

“So you think he’d reject me a second time? …or third time, if you will.”

“No I didn’t say that I just think you need to know for sure what he feels and wants and if he’s just chickening out like you. And if you think there is even a little bit of hope you have to fight, no matter what. Just listen to your heart and DO SOMETHING.”

“Maybe you are right. I will think about it.”

“You know his birthday is coming up soon… so why don’t you think of something?”

“hmm.. that’s right.. I shall think, Ryo, I shall think of something.”

“That’s what I wanted to hear.” Ryo smiled at his friend and offered him to drive him home, convincing he’d need some rest and definitely not another drink.

[///]

Ryo dropped Pi off at his house, and with that another night of drinking and dancing had passed and Yamapi got home feeling dizzy and sick to his stomach, due to too many drinks he didn’t even like. He made his way toward the sofa, knowing he’d probably have another sleepless night ahead of him.

He remembered the talk he had with Ryo and the vision of Tegoshi in the noisy and crowded club, chatting happily with tons of strangers, clouded his mind. Yamapi sighed as he let himself sink down onto the soft furniture, letting his head fall heavily on a pile of cozy pillows. The cold material felt awkward against his warm skin. He moved around uneasy trying to get comfortable somehow but all his actions failed. As he was getting cold he picked up a blanket that lay in front of the sofa, never been returned to the bedroom for days. Yamapi strangely felt uncomfortable sleeping in his bed for quite a while now, and therefore spent most nights out on the sofa, sometimes falling asleep watching a random, usually boring or plain stupid TV show or the news channel. Yamapi knew it couldn’t continue like this and he had to change something in his life again but he didn’t know what or how. He felt his head spinning and his mind blacking out, slowly but steady the noises inside grew louder and his vision gradually turned blurry. He pulled the blanked over his body as good as he could while picking up a photograph of Tegoshi, that lay on the table. He pressed the picture against his slightly shaking body, closing his eyes he fell asleep within seconds.

The only thing I’ll hold against me is a picture of you tonight.

[///]

Yamapi’s vision slowly became clear again as he opened his eyes slowly, trying to adjust to the rays of the afternoon sun that shone in through the window from behind. The light was bright enough to wake the dead and felt utterly painful all the way up to this head. His brain was aching like he had been on a rollercoaster for days or maybe weeks if that was possible. When he turned his head to his right he could make out a familiar shape. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing; he reached out his hand as if he wanted to touch something or someone.

“Tegoshi? ..What are you doing here?” he asked with a shaking voice.

“I thought you were gone, Yamashita-kun. I thought I had lost you forever. I was so scared.” Tegoshi came closer and sat down next to Yamapi. “How did you get in here?” he couldn’t believe that Tegoshi really sat next to him like that. “Yamashita-kun” he breathed. Yamapi took his hands and pulled them to his chest, looking into Tegoshi’s teary eyes.

“It’s ok, I am here and will always be there, for you and with you. I love you, Yuya.” He slowly leaned in to meet Tegoshi in a sweet kiss.

Blustering knocks at the door could be heard and the loud ringing of his mobile phone brought Yamapi to the horrible realization that he had been dreaming as he almost fell of the sofa, the picture landing on the floor below him.

“Not again..” he cursed as he rubbed his eyes and tried to get up to answer the door. He was having the same dream for days, no for weeks now, slowly but surely driving him to the edge of insanity. The ringing of his phone didn’t stop and the knocks against the door grew louder.

GET LOST, WILL YOU! Yampi walked toward where the noises came from, his phone must be lying somewhere over there as well he thought, angry at himself for not switching it off last night. His abused head hurt madly, he could feel his brains swoosh from side to side with each of his steps. After a few more agonizing steps he slowly opened the door, shutting his eyes once the rays of sun hit him.

“Pi ~ god damnit, why don’t you answer your friggin phone? Or open the door!? I have been knocking and calling you from here for almost an hour.”

“You what? Ryo.chan..are you ok?”

“Yes of course I am ok, besides that I am totally angry and annoyed I am ok but I really wanted to ask you that..”

“Why? Nothing happened last night, or did something happen? I can’t remember a thing, besides you driving me home.”

“No nothing happened.. I mean I was just worried cause it’s already past 5 PM and you haven’t answered in any way possible and since it’s weekend I knew you couldn’t be at work and..”

“It’s ok Ryo, calm down. I am fine, you are fine. Why don’t you come inside?”

Yamapi let his friend inside and offered him something to drink.

“You look really crappy Pi~ “

“Thank you..”

“No you know what I mean, you shouldn’t be drinking so much you idiot.”

“Drinking? Mh I guess I just had a bad dream that’s all.”

“Was it a dream about Tegoshi?” Ryo asked curiously, his eyes widening.

Yamapi froze, he couldn’t believe what he just heard, did he say Tegoshi? How could he know? Why would he assume that…

“No… No, of course not. I dream about Jeannie, duh.. Why would I dream about Tegoshi?!” Yamapi handed Ryo a coke and sat down at the kitchen table opening a bottle mineral water for him.

“Pi, you told me all about you and Tegoshi last night..”

“I didn’t. There is nothing to talk about! What are you saying Ryo-chan you are making no sense….” He thought it that was some kind of trap from his friend he couldn’t just admit if he didn’t even remember talking about it. He couldn’t be caught like that, with a bad trick.

“..I told you not to drink so much anymore! You see, you can’t even remember. But it’s ok I know about it so we can just talk how you get him back, ok?”

“..Getting him back?..” slowly Yamapi seemed to remember their talk from last night. He smacks his head against the kitchen table, really hard. “Gosh you’re right..ne.. we did talk. I’m done.”

“Baka. Its ok, I won’t tell anyone. I’m only trying to help you.” Ryo got up and opened the fridge. “Ma~ Pi…where is your food? What use is a fridge if it’s always empty?!”

“Yeh, you should pick up something from the store next time u come visit.. You should know by now that it’s usually empty.”

“Idiot, sure as hell I will. Grab your stuff and let’s go out and eat.”

[Chapter End.]

Now wasn't that freaky? .. at least I got kinda freaked out writing it, just the thought of a ghosty Tesshi appearing in your dream like that made me want to cry out >:D  nyaaaaaa~~~~

I know I promised it will get better I still had to finish off another angsty chapter >_<
gomen na, but now it will get better! I just had to split it into two chapters since LJ won't let me post such long post.

So I hope u still liked this one!

Now go ~ run to the next chapter! ^___^