President Miley Cyrus Ushers In Syria War - One Twerk On The Molly at a Time
DELIBERATELY CONVOLUTED AND CONTEXTUAL CONSPIRACY THEORY ALERT: (Do not read this if you cannot handle humor and satire. And rant, rhythm and rhyme and alliteration! hehehehehe)
Ooh, I have a fascinatingly poetical (or should I say poetically fascinating) real-time connection I can build you between Miley Cyrus and the upcoming war in Syria.
A couple decades ago if you called 1-800-424-9090 you got the White House Press Office going back to at least as early as Ronald Reagan's administration. You literally got a new message each day recorded early that morning by the POTUS himself. Essentially one of the earliest daily podcasts! Because it wasn't digital it was a cassette tape.
If they didn't update in just one day, you heard the tape all stretched out and he sounded really funny, too slow and too fast and stuff, but I digress. For a while after Clinton or Baby Bush dumped the number it became inbound telemarketing for some t-shirt and paraphanelia catalogue company in Sandiego similar to Saybrook's OldGlory. (there's my first Miley/Syria connection - catch it if you can. Wasn't she smoking hooka and stevia and stuff and trying so hard to say it's never crack and pot? Yeah, ok) So for a while it was fake pot and stuff.
I stopped checking up on that number because I kind of didn't care anymore but suddenly for some reason the number came to me again while doing some of my volunteer journalism stuff. I called it and it was a Fone sex number... yeah, 2nd connection to Smiley Miley! Don't blink you'll miss it. When you call it it's got the sound and feel of an oldschool 976 number. "Call me back again, lover, and I'll lick my own eyebrow..." California state taxes apply, callnowbeforepriceschange,voidinsomedataplans..."
Now here's the major 3rd connect, you ready for this? Google that number in one of those "who just called you" databases? PEOPLE, IT'S OWNED BY DISNEY! I haven't typed in a conspiracy theory in more than ten years, and I really don't wish to do one now, but listen, Miley Cyrus is ushering in the end of the world using Disney porn and MTV to start picking off formidable nations like Syria and Yemen.
My name is Marco Frucht and I perused this message.
Ooh, I have a fascinatingly poetical (or should I say poetically fascinating) real-time connection I can build you between Miley Cyrus and the upcoming war in Syria.
A couple decades ago if you called 1-800-424-9090 you got the White House Press Office going back to at least as early as Ronald Reagan's administration. You literally got a new message each day recorded early that morning by the POTUS himself. Essentially one of the earliest daily podcasts! Because it wasn't digital it was a cassette tape.
If they didn't update in just one day, you heard the tape all stretched out and he sounded really funny, too slow and too fast and stuff, but I digress. For a while after Clinton or Baby Bush dumped the number it became inbound telemarketing for some t-shirt and paraphanelia catalogue company in Sandiego similar to Saybrook's OldGlory. (there's my first Miley/Syria connection - catch it if you can. Wasn't she smoking hooka and stevia and stuff and trying so hard to say it's never crack and pot? Yeah, ok) So for a while it was fake pot and stuff.
I stopped checking up on that number because I kind of didn't care anymore but suddenly for some reason the number came to me again while doing some of my volunteer journalism stuff. I called it and it was a Fone sex number... yeah, 2nd connection to Smiley Miley! Don't blink you'll miss it. When you call it it's got the sound and feel of an oldschool 976 number. "Call me back again, lover, and I'll lick my own eyebrow..." California state taxes apply, callnowbeforepriceschange,voidinsomedataplans..."
Now here's the major 3rd connect, you ready for this? Google that number in one of those "who just called you" databases? PEOPLE, IT'S OWNED BY DISNEY! I haven't typed in a conspiracy theory in more than ten years, and I really don't wish to do one now, but listen, Miley Cyrus is ushering in the end of the world using Disney porn and MTV to start picking off formidable nations like Syria and Yemen.
My name is Marco Frucht and I perused this message.