Urban Freeflow
I have a test tomorrow so I'll try and not make this too long....I got back from the park again maybe an hour ago, but instead of a picnic I went to try out some parkour moves with TJ, Bernie and Keith. It was pretty fun, and eventually I got up the nerve to try some stuff I'd been too chicken to do on Saturday. Saturday we'd gone to eating yummy recipies laura was trying out from her new books, and I ended up playing "The ground is made of lava with Colin and Ed...bad idea. The food was great, and I'm glad I got up early 'cause I managed to help Laura out a lot be we still got to the park an hour later than intended....but our game started out easy and ended very badly. I made it across the whole playground but then was faced with climbing about 10 feet up an 80 degree incline only an inch thick - aka the 
A frame of the giant swingset. Needless to say, it wasn't a simple task, especially with a couple of tree branches in the way and bare feet. I finally managed to get up, and getting down sucked just as much. I ended up putting the tops of my feet against the board in both cases to steady myself and managed to rub all the skin off, so it really hurts a lot to walk. So yeah, kendo practice was fun, sitting down really really sucked 'cause the tops of your feet are right on the floor =_= augh....Nick also dislocated his toe again on saturday and chan hit me so hard my arm is still swollen, so needless to say I didn't go to practice this evening. Sunday was nice, I got to sleep in a bit after watching the game and got most of my philosophy homework done...and then the week really started to suck. Monday wasn't too bad, I was sitting at work for sooooo long though, I got so bored =_= but I managed to get the small grant request form in on time. And then I went back to the room and finally did a water change for the fish tank...but right after that it was time to go watch the weekly movie for intro to film and I didn't have any time for Philosophy =_= so being the smart person I am, went straight to practice after the movie and got back at 12ish and sat down to finish my philosophy homework. Sure enough, the problem I couldn't finish on Sunday I still couldn't finish and time just slipped through my fingers, so 9am rolls around and I still didn't have it done. I got out to go get my coffee from Matthew and he even came up to take a loo
k at it before my first class and had no idea. So I'm sitting in Psychology and still trying to figure this problem out, to no avail. I even post on the message board to help a girl out with a different problem, but no one posts to help us out with this one...so I ended up going to class without finishing the problem, and without having gotten any sleep. So I sit through an hour of the TA talking about stuff that's obvious and finally the girl sitting next to me asks about the stupid problem and he says "anyone who wants to know, stay for the next few minutes" and so a bunch of us do....and the TA can't even do it. Finally, the guy in the front who only stayed to ask about some other question blurts out that he just stuck two sentences together with an & and got it to work and we all got SO PISSED.....it was just a horrid morning. So I walked through the rain to williams and back to have a meeting with Dr Jones and then nearly slept through world regions and finally got back to my place at 5:00 where I totally blacked out until 10. So yeah, basically tuesday sucked. But today was nice, not too much work, Dr Jones gave me a hell of a lot to do but we finally got things ironed out....and then parkour with TJ Bernie and Keith was a blast.
In order to cheer myself up a bit yesterday I also went shopping! That's the funny thing about girls, you can joke all you like but shopping really does improve our mood ^ ^''' I went to forever 21 and finally got some things I'd been looking at, even a dress! wow, haha my girly side is really coming out (wait....except for
parkour today, so maybe it's just kinda coming out at the moment?) and I'm all excited to get my package sometime next week! I got a dress, shirt, fun sweater and socks XD dunno what the socks will go to but I liked how they look and I needed $75 to get free shipping. I really ought to have bought a new shinai but XD the girly side is taking priority these days! That's actually why I keep getting up an hour early to get coffee on tuesdays and thursdays, 'cause Matthew makes it XDDD. He's really nice, and super interesting, but he smokes =_= ugh. I really couldn't date someone who smokes. But I guess the girly side of me wants to meet a cool guy and sit around talking about what we want to do when we get out of college while sipping some tasty latte....haha I've missed simple things like that, like chatting it up with someone new. It makes me think I will be good working for the government, I'm personable and charismatic (when I wanna be XP ) and I can really draw people into a conversation, I'm good at that sort of thing and I really enjoy it. Learning about other people, where they've been, what they've experienced, who they've met, what they learned, it's really really interesting! Unless, of course, you're that really really annoying guy Tom from Kendo who's a complete creep. I hope there aren't any creepy world leaders I need to chat with 'cause I do everything in my power to ignore that Tom guy...../shiver
TJ and I had a bit of a fight this weekend, we both thought the other was ignoring us. It made me relive a couple of other times where lack of communication really murdered a relationship between me and a guy. With Stefan it was that we felt lonely and unwanted, Peter it was that his life got too complicated and there were too many hurdles to overcome...TJ is one
of my best friends but he let a little miscommunication almost ruin that....when I noticed that something was really wrong between us, I went right up the first free moment and asked him about it. If I hadn't said something, how long would it have taken before he did? would he have? from the way he answered it didn't seem like he was going to, which is why I got so upset when I talked to him about it. I couldn't help but think "It's happened again. A guy I'm close to just simply doesn't want to deal with a situation anymore. They've just shut down. Dropped me, dropped what there was between us just because things weren't going right, It's happened again." I'm really glad it wasn't the case, things have been so much better after I talked to him (except for this evening, I managed to knee him right in the crotch, sorry TJ!!!) but I really wish guys wouldn't do that, wouldn't just shut down. It may sound like a girly thing to say but communication is so important. If you want something, if you're unhappy about something, if you're excited, happy, depressed, angry, fed-up, anything.....just say something. Communication is so important.
There are so many things I want to do, or that's how I feel. I want to learn parkour, I want to learn to do an ariel and to do a wallspin. I want to watch Atonement, I want to listen to I want to get dressed
up and go to a nice restaurant, or a club or something. I want to go on a road trip and see a big city, I want to go hiking and climb a mountain. I want to sleep for an entire day. I want to be a model and travel the world, I want to be better at kendo, to be able to beat osamu. I want to be a great artist, to be able to tell a story like saumura. I want to play the cello, I want to speak another language fluently. I want to start my job, I want to go on vacation, I want to do so many things, I have so much to look forward to and so much to look back on and smile. There are still those every once in awhiles, and I've heard a lot of people saying this lately, where I just feel lonely. I guess it still is a lot because I am surrounded by so many happy couples. It's like this quote from a movie I can't remember the title of..it goes something like, "Isn't it always the case that when your love life has come to an end the world is suddenly full of couples, and of possibility." That's really what it seems like at times, but only every once in awhile, so I try not to make too big a deal of it. So often these days, people are so sad, or even more so, disappointed. In themselves, in their unfortunate circumstances, they let this disappointment rule their mood. So much negativity, that's so much of what I hear bernie say, so much of what I see TJ write, fills so much of the conversations I have with Ashly....I don't see why people have to find themselves and their circumstances so unfortunate. How many times have I come across this, you have a roof over your shoulders, clothes on your back and food in your belly, there is so much good to see. Bernie is creative and inquisitive, those are such good qualities. TJ is empathetic and crafty, he's got good taste and a strong sense of justice. Ashly is bright and personable. Augh, so much negativity all the time I don't want to be all "rainbows and butterflies" like laura can be at times, but so much negative energy just sucks the motivation right out of me.....I'm already working so hard to be happy, and to make others happy.....I won't let anyone get in my way >.<
/sigh..........................I miss you. Maybe it's the idea of you. Maybe it's the feel of you. I'm not sure, but I know I miss whatever it is you had.
A frame of the giant swingset. Needless to say, it wasn't a simple task, especially with a couple of tree branches in the way and bare feet. I finally managed to get up, and getting down sucked just as much. I ended up putting the tops of my feet against the board in both cases to steady myself and managed to rub all the skin off, so it really hurts a lot to walk. So yeah, kendo practice was fun, sitting down really really sucked 'cause the tops of your feet are right on the floor =_= augh....Nick also dislocated his toe again on saturday and chan hit me so hard my arm is still swollen, so needless to say I didn't go to practice this evening. Sunday was nice, I got to sleep in a bit after watching the game and got most of my philosophy homework done...and then the week really started to suck. Monday wasn't too bad, I was sitting at work for sooooo long though, I got so bored =_= but I managed to get the small grant request form in on time. And then I went back to the room and finally did a water change for the fish tank...but right after that it was time to go watch the weekly movie for intro to film and I didn't have any time for Philosophy =_= so being the smart person I am, went straight to practice after the movie and got back at 12ish and sat down to finish my philosophy homework. Sure enough, the problem I couldn't finish on Sunday I still couldn't finish and time just slipped through my fingers, so 9am rolls around and I still didn't have it done. I got out to go get my coffee from Matthew and he even came up to take a loo
k at it before my first class and had no idea. So I'm sitting in Psychology and still trying to figure this problem out, to no avail. I even post on the message board to help a girl out with a different problem, but no one posts to help us out with this one...so I ended up going to class without finishing the problem, and without having gotten any sleep. So I sit through an hour of the TA talking about stuff that's obvious and finally the girl sitting next to me asks about the stupid problem and he says "anyone who wants to know, stay for the next few minutes" and so a bunch of us do....and the TA can't even do it. Finally, the guy in the front who only stayed to ask about some other question blurts out that he just stuck two sentences together with an & and got it to work and we all got SO PISSED.....it was just a horrid morning. So I walked through the rain to williams and back to have a meeting with Dr Jones and then nearly slept through world regions and finally got back to my place at 5:00 where I totally blacked out until 10. So yeah, basically tuesday sucked. But today was nice, not too much work, Dr Jones gave me a hell of a lot to do but we finally got things ironed out....and then parkour with TJ Bernie and Keith was a blast.
In order to cheer myself up a bit yesterday I also went shopping! That's the funny thing about girls, you can joke all you like but shopping really does improve our mood ^ ^''' I went to forever 21 and finally got some things I'd been looking at, even a dress! wow, haha my girly side is really coming out (wait....except for
parkour today, so maybe it's just kinda coming out at the moment?) and I'm all excited to get my package sometime next week! I got a dress, shirt, fun sweater and socks XD dunno what the socks will go to but I liked how they look and I needed $75 to get free shipping. I really ought to have bought a new shinai but XD the girly side is taking priority these days! That's actually why I keep getting up an hour early to get coffee on tuesdays and thursdays, 'cause Matthew makes it XDDD. He's really nice, and super interesting, but he smokes =_= ugh. I really couldn't date someone who smokes. But I guess the girly side of me wants to meet a cool guy and sit around talking about what we want to do when we get out of college while sipping some tasty latte....haha I've missed simple things like that, like chatting it up with someone new. It makes me think I will be good working for the government, I'm personable and charismatic (when I wanna be XP ) and I can really draw people into a conversation, I'm good at that sort of thing and I really enjoy it. Learning about other people, where they've been, what they've experienced, who they've met, what they learned, it's really really interesting! Unless, of course, you're that really really annoying guy Tom from Kendo who's a complete creep. I hope there aren't any creepy world leaders I need to chat with 'cause I do everything in my power to ignore that Tom guy...../shiver
TJ and I had a bit of a fight this weekend, we both thought the other was ignoring us. It made me relive a couple of other times where lack of communication really murdered a relationship between me and a guy. With Stefan it was that we felt lonely and unwanted, Peter it was that his life got too complicated and there were too many hurdles to overcome...TJ is one
of my best friends but he let a little miscommunication almost ruin that....when I noticed that something was really wrong between us, I went right up the first free moment and asked him about it. If I hadn't said something, how long would it have taken before he did? would he have? from the way he answered it didn't seem like he was going to, which is why I got so upset when I talked to him about it. I couldn't help but think "It's happened again. A guy I'm close to just simply doesn't want to deal with a situation anymore. They've just shut down. Dropped me, dropped what there was between us just because things weren't going right, It's happened again." I'm really glad it wasn't the case, things have been so much better after I talked to him (except for this evening, I managed to knee him right in the crotch, sorry TJ!!!) but I really wish guys wouldn't do that, wouldn't just shut down. It may sound like a girly thing to say but communication is so important. If you want something, if you're unhappy about something, if you're excited, happy, depressed, angry, fed-up, anything.....just say something. Communication is so important.
There are so many things I want to do, or that's how I feel. I want to learn parkour, I want to learn to do an ariel and to do a wallspin. I want to watch Atonement, I want to listen to I want to get dressed
up and go to a nice restaurant, or a club or something. I want to go on a road trip and see a big city, I want to go hiking and climb a mountain. I want to sleep for an entire day. I want to be a model and travel the world, I want to be better at kendo, to be able to beat osamu. I want to be a great artist, to be able to tell a story like saumura. I want to play the cello, I want to speak another language fluently. I want to start my job, I want to go on vacation, I want to do so many things, I have so much to look forward to and so much to look back on and smile. There are still those every once in awhiles, and I've heard a lot of people saying this lately, where I just feel lonely. I guess it still is a lot because I am surrounded by so many happy couples. It's like this quote from a movie I can't remember the title of..it goes something like, "Isn't it always the case that when your love life has come to an end the world is suddenly full of couples, and of possibility." That's really what it seems like at times, but only every once in awhile, so I try not to make too big a deal of it. So often these days, people are so sad, or even more so, disappointed. In themselves, in their unfortunate circumstances, they let this disappointment rule their mood. So much negativity, that's so much of what I hear bernie say, so much of what I see TJ write, fills so much of the conversations I have with Ashly....I don't see why people have to find themselves and their circumstances so unfortunate. How many times have I come across this, you have a roof over your shoulders, clothes on your back and food in your belly, there is so much good to see. Bernie is creative and inquisitive, those are such good qualities. TJ is empathetic and crafty, he's got good taste and a strong sense of justice. Ashly is bright and personable. Augh, so much negativity all the time I don't want to be all "rainbows and butterflies" like laura can be at times, but so much negative energy just sucks the motivation right out of me.....I'm already working so hard to be happy, and to make others happy.....I won't let anyone get in my way >.<
/sigh..........................I miss you. Maybe it's the idea of you. Maybe it's the feel of you. I'm not sure, but I know I miss whatever it is you had.