Yes you can hold my hand if you want to, Cuz I wanna hold yours too. . .
I just think that everybody should know just how tired Alicia really is today. lol. Actually, I don't care if people know, I just want to talk about my weekend.
Friday
Stayed the night at Roberts thrusday night just because I could, had to be to work at 8: so I left around 7: from his house, had a full day of work, went over to Tony's apartment after work, so we got there at like 3:30 or so, I spent the whole day there. When I say that, I am not joking. I did not leave until 3:45 in the AM and the only reason I finally left was because I was falling asleep on his bed, and that would have been not good situations when Robert called me in the morning. We spent most of the day playing video games, downloading things on uTorrent, we watched Hostel 2, talked about web comics, surfed 4chan, watched some funny videos, talked about books, played some more games, etc. Long night. Very fun though. We called Autumn and Tony talked to her for like an hour and a half about absolutely nothing. She kept trying to get him off the phone and he just kept talking. It was funny. Glad that happened. . . .
Until. . .
Saturday
Hung out with Autumn most of the day. Like I woke up, went to breakfast with my dad, met up with Autumn in town, and we went back to her house, set up the slip n' slide for Dakota and then went inside and watched some movie I can't think of right now. lol. Went to Jackson to Conrads house to get a program to make ringtones for my phone. Got some foods, went back to Autumns house, called Robert, was about to tell him about how I saw Tony yesterday and we hung out and stuff, and he already knew. He was pissed about it too. The whole, me and Tony thing before the me and Robert dating and then I decided to start the relationship honestly and told him about *almost* everything Tony and I had done previous to our dating. So I can see why he would be upset, but not to the point where he isn't even talking to me so there's no hope in trying to make it better. So I spent the rest of the day kind of down and when Tony texted me as per his usual 10: pm text, I was just responding and he was asking what was wrong and so then we talked for like 2 hours and everything, and it just confuses the fuck out of me. Called Robert.
He hung up on me.
Sunday
Woke up around 3: in the afternoon, called Kara, went over and watched The Libertine with Johnny Depp in it, that was a pretty good movie actually, I'm glad we picked it. After that I told her I was going to go home and take a shower, eat some dinners, and go to beds cuz I stayed up so late the night before and whatnot. In all honesty, I went home and took a shower and then headed over to Tony's for a while. It's not me sneaking around behind Roberts back, this is me, not telling anybody until I get the chance to tell my boyfriend first. Just because he isn't talking to me, doesn't mean I have to stop talking to Tony until Robert starts talking to me again. That's not fair when he can just walk over to Tina's house any time he wants and do whatever the fuck he wants for two hours leaving me at his house without telling me where he was going. I'm not saying I did this in spite, I'm saying that he's being hypocritical.
At any rate, Got to Tony's at probably 6:15 or so, when I first got there, he gave me the 10$ he was supposed to pay me, and then we went out to the gas station, got some foods, and then went back to his apartment and started to play FF X-2 which sucked for two hours, I then moved on to playing Siren. This game we both own and can't beat because we get too pissed off at the game to continue. lol. So we printed off a walkthrough and we're slowly going through it . . . for 8 hours. There were a couple side stops in there where we did other things, but for the most part it was 8 fucking hours of the same game that kept pissin me off. Oh thee well. I finally left when I started to fall asleep mid gameplay. Not good situations. . . at all. Shibito's lurking out of the woods with their revolvers and axes. . . very not good situations. That was at 5:33 this morning. I then went to Ryan and Sue's and caught like an hour worth of sleep before having to get up for math class this morning and 8 hours of work.
:(
I'm confused.
All in all it was a good weekend. But I feel like I cheated on Robert and I didn't. All I did was hang out, play video games, and read web comics with him. Why do I feel the way I do? I don't like Tony, it's just nice to finally have a friend that I have so much stuff in common with, I don't have to lie about what I do and don't like, and know that he isn't going to laugh at me if I tell him that I honestly have no idea what he's talking about. It's like Zak, but better. Without the romantic feelings of course.
I just wish Robert could see things from my point of view for a day. To see that nothing is going on between us, nothing will ever go on between us ever again, and that he has nothing to worry about. I suppose I should take my own advice, huh? Maybe let go of Tina, and just accept the fact that despite what happened before I dated him, I should be able to trust him. Ironic how that works out. I think we need to talk. I'm scared. Again. Why does this keep happening to me. Why does every guy I date have a problem with Tony? Why are they threatened by some guy that I could potentially become best friends with? He's no threat to them. This is silly. It's just Tony.
Just Tony. . . . .
Just. . . . .
Friday
Stayed the night at Roberts thrusday night just because I could, had to be to work at 8: so I left around 7: from his house, had a full day of work, went over to Tony's apartment after work, so we got there at like 3:30 or so, I spent the whole day there. When I say that, I am not joking. I did not leave until 3:45 in the AM and the only reason I finally left was because I was falling asleep on his bed, and that would have been not good situations when Robert called me in the morning. We spent most of the day playing video games, downloading things on uTorrent, we watched Hostel 2, talked about web comics, surfed 4chan, watched some funny videos, talked about books, played some more games, etc. Long night. Very fun though. We called Autumn and Tony talked to her for like an hour and a half about absolutely nothing. She kept trying to get him off the phone and he just kept talking. It was funny. Glad that happened. . . .
Until. . .
Saturday
Hung out with Autumn most of the day. Like I woke up, went to breakfast with my dad, met up with Autumn in town, and we went back to her house, set up the slip n' slide for Dakota and then went inside and watched some movie I can't think of right now. lol. Went to Jackson to Conrads house to get a program to make ringtones for my phone. Got some foods, went back to Autumns house, called Robert, was about to tell him about how I saw Tony yesterday and we hung out and stuff, and he already knew. He was pissed about it too. The whole, me and Tony thing before the me and Robert dating and then I decided to start the relationship honestly and told him about *almost* everything Tony and I had done previous to our dating. So I can see why he would be upset, but not to the point where he isn't even talking to me so there's no hope in trying to make it better. So I spent the rest of the day kind of down and when Tony texted me as per his usual 10: pm text, I was just responding and he was asking what was wrong and so then we talked for like 2 hours and everything, and it just confuses the fuck out of me. Called Robert.
He hung up on me.
Sunday
Woke up around 3: in the afternoon, called Kara, went over and watched The Libertine with Johnny Depp in it, that was a pretty good movie actually, I'm glad we picked it. After that I told her I was going to go home and take a shower, eat some dinners, and go to beds cuz I stayed up so late the night before and whatnot. In all honesty, I went home and took a shower and then headed over to Tony's for a while. It's not me sneaking around behind Roberts back, this is me, not telling anybody until I get the chance to tell my boyfriend first. Just because he isn't talking to me, doesn't mean I have to stop talking to Tony until Robert starts talking to me again. That's not fair when he can just walk over to Tina's house any time he wants and do whatever the fuck he wants for two hours leaving me at his house without telling me where he was going. I'm not saying I did this in spite, I'm saying that he's being hypocritical.
At any rate, Got to Tony's at probably 6:15 or so, when I first got there, he gave me the 10$ he was supposed to pay me, and then we went out to the gas station, got some foods, and then went back to his apartment and started to play FF X-2 which sucked for two hours, I then moved on to playing Siren. This game we both own and can't beat because we get too pissed off at the game to continue. lol. So we printed off a walkthrough and we're slowly going through it . . . for 8 hours. There were a couple side stops in there where we did other things, but for the most part it was 8 fucking hours of the same game that kept pissin me off. Oh thee well. I finally left when I started to fall asleep mid gameplay. Not good situations. . . at all. Shibito's lurking out of the woods with their revolvers and axes. . . very not good situations. That was at 5:33 this morning. I then went to Ryan and Sue's and caught like an hour worth of sleep before having to get up for math class this morning and 8 hours of work.
:(
I'm confused.
All in all it was a good weekend. But I feel like I cheated on Robert and I didn't. All I did was hang out, play video games, and read web comics with him. Why do I feel the way I do? I don't like Tony, it's just nice to finally have a friend that I have so much stuff in common with, I don't have to lie about what I do and don't like, and know that he isn't going to laugh at me if I tell him that I honestly have no idea what he's talking about. It's like Zak, but better. Without the romantic feelings of course.
I just wish Robert could see things from my point of view for a day. To see that nothing is going on between us, nothing will ever go on between us ever again, and that he has nothing to worry about. I suppose I should take my own advice, huh? Maybe let go of Tina, and just accept the fact that despite what happened before I dated him, I should be able to trust him. Ironic how that works out. I think we need to talk. I'm scared. Again. Why does this keep happening to me. Why does every guy I date have a problem with Tony? Why are they threatened by some guy that I could potentially become best friends with? He's no threat to them. This is silly. It's just Tony.
Just Tony. . . . .
Just. . . . .