Breaking Up is Hard To Do
Title: Breaking Up is hard To Do
Author: y0ungalaska
Summary: Just an insight to what I believe the inner thoughts of both Callie and Arizona were during the airport break-up. One-shot.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I own nothing except for my ideas.
Arizona walked alongside her girlfriend through the somewhat crowded airport. Malwai. She was going to Malawi, Africa to help the tiny humans who needed a pediatric surgeon. It was almost unbelievable and she was on top of the world. Well, she would have been if her girlfriend hadn’t been trying to ruin her moment all day. Lost in thought, she walked in step with the Latina and she could hear Callie once again, being sarcastic. She had spent all day listening to her girlfriend’s sarcastic tone. She’d even asked Calliope if she wanted to talk about anything, but the Latina told her no and so they went on with their day.
Not two minutes after asking her, Calliope was shooting off with her sarcasm once again and Arizona was beginning to think that Callie didn’t really want to accompany her to Malawi. She probably should have said something to her loving girlfriend, but she chose to keep her mouth shut because she didn’t want to pop the bubble. The bubble.
Arizona continued to walk as she heard Callie speak, “You know, I’m sure there’s not a lot to do over there, but that just means less to distract us from the medicine. It will just be us...focusing on the medicine...” Arizona stopped in her tracks. Her expression now filled with confusion. “is great...”
In the midst of turning around and noticing that her blonde girlfriend had halted her movement, Callie spoke, “What? Oh my god, did you forget your passport?” She asked as she swung her luggage around.
“I won the Carter Madison Grant,” Arizona spoke, fed up with the day’s events. “I won the Carter Madison Grant.” Arizona made sure to repeat herself. She wanted to convey to her girlfriend just how important this opportunity was for her. Callie blinked and then, raised her eyebrows. “Do you know how rare that is?” Arizona asked.
Callie wore somewhat of a small grin on her face as she nodded her head while her girlfriend continued. “Do you know how special that is?” Callie looked around the crowded airport as the blonde’s voice began to rise in octaves. “This is the biggest opportunity of my professional career.”
Arizona turned away for just a moment before setting her eyes on the slightly taller brunette. “ I-I-I get to go to Malawi with almost unlimited funds and help children; help tiny humans who might otherwise never see a pediatric surgeon.” Callie looked down to her ticket and then behind her. If they didn’t hurry, they were going to miss their flight to Africa. “I get to change lives. That’s the dream; I am living the dream and I am over the moon about it. Or,” Arizona looked to her left and stuttered a bit, “I-I-I would be, but you are ruining it for me” Arizona’s eyes held back her true emotion as she tried to speak as calmly as she could. Callie, on the other hand, stood looking a bit confused. “First with your whining and now, with your fake, smiley, passive-aggressive enthusiasm. You are ruining Africa for me.” She finished with anger now evident in her tone.
“I-I’m not.” Callie stuttered, but still wore somewhat of a smile on her face.
“You are!” Arizona yelled back. Whether she meant to or not, her words and her emotions were now running wild and she felt that the only way her feelings would be reciprocated would be by yelling.
Seeing the conviction on her girlfriend’s face; hearing her tone of voice, the Latina wiped the smile off of her face and stepped forward. She didn’t want to fight with Arizona. Honestly, she just wanted to get on the plane and go to Malawi. True, she had had doubts and she didn’t really want to go, but she wasn’t going to live without Arizona. Not for three years. No. She stepped forward, “Ok, fine. I don’t want to go to Africa, okay?” She leaned in a little closer. “But I do want to be with you, okay? So I’m really trying here.” Her patience was wearing thin with the blonde. She still didn’t quite understand why the blonde was making it so hard for them. All they had to do was scan their ticket, get on the plane and fly to Africa. It wasn’t that hard. “We’re gonna miss our plane, let’s go.” She readjusted the backpack onto her shoulder as she turned around to make her way to the counter. Not hearing footsteps, she turned back around and threw her hands up in the air when she saw that Arizona still hadn’t moved.
“Oh my god, okay,” Callie Torres was not a woman of patience and right now, it had all gone out the window, “You wanna fight? Okay, the flight is 18 hours. We can fight on the plane.” She raised her eyebrows as if to challenge her girlfriend.
“You’re ruining this for me” Arizona spoke, tears now present in her crystal blue eyes. She was defeated. And in that moment, she realized that this wasn’t going to work. If ever she needed to make a decision, this was the time. “I don’t wanna do this.”
Callie stood looking confused. Her eyebrows creased, “Wha-wha-So what does that mean? What? You suddenly don’t wanna go? Or-“
Arizona shook her head slightly. She willed her tears not to fall. Heartbreak. It was the moment she never thought she’d come to again. Last year, after the shooting at Seattle Grace, she vowed that after losing Calliope once, she would never lose her again. She would do everything in her power to keep the woman she loved as happy as she possibly could. But now, standing here face to face in this airport, looking at the woman she loved more than her own life, she realized that she had come full circle. And that being with her, was in fact making Calliope more unhappy than anything. Her mouth moved for a moment without sound before the words she so desperately wished she didn’t have to say, fell out. “I don’t want to go to Africa with you.”
Realization suddenly hit Callie like a hammer to the heart as she stood there, wordless for a moment. Her breathing began to speed up just a little as she willed herself to stay calm. Though in a crowded airport, when those words fell from her beautiful blonde girlfriend’s lips, the world disappeared. “Arizona” she muttered as she began to shake her head, “No, okay? No.”
Arizona, defeated, muttered the only words she could think of. “I’m sorry.” She broke eye contact as the realization, too, hit her in the heart. Those two words; she had hoped that the meaning behind those two words would be conveyed in such a way that the Latina would realize that there was more to them. Arizona was not only sorry for her current actions, but she was also sorry for not keeping her promise. She was sorry for not being able to make Calliope happy; for not being the woman that she knew she could be. So many reasons to say she was sorry. Dropping her head she whispered again, “I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry?” Callie spoke, anger beginning to rise within her. How could Arizona do this? And why did it always happen to her. Where in the handbook of relationships, was it written that Calliope Torres was meant to be left heartbroken every single time.
“I’m sorry.” Arizona whispered yet again.
“You’re sorry?” Callie asked once more. “It’s three years.” She couldn’t believe it. Arizona was going away to Africa for three years and she was acting as though she’d only be gone a week.
Arizona’s heart was breaking. Looking into those chocolate brown orbs, she could tell that this was hurting the Latina. Again, she was hurting her. The one thing she never wanted to do. She shook her head and said the only thing that came to mind, “I’m gonna miss my plane.”
Callie blinked, as though if she did, she would be brought back to a time when everything was good between them; everything was perfect. Almost horrified, she widened her eyes in sheer amazement before Arizona spoke again.
“You take care of yourself.” The blonde spoke taking one last look at her life. Her life. She began to walk away before she completely broke down in front of Callie, in front of the strangers in the airport.
Callie’s eyes slowly followed the blonde until she had passed her up completely. Inhaling sharply, she fought to keep her emotions in line. Was this really happening? Was Arizona really walking away from her right now? This couldn’t be happening. Not again. Not when she had just gotten Arizona back. In the span of three seconds, Callie thought of every single thing they had been through.
She exhaled a heavy breath. This could not be over. “No.” She spoke loudly before turning around to see her now retreating ex-girlfriend.
When Arizona failed to turn around, she yelled even louder, “No!”
Arizona, with her emotions heavy on her heart, finally stopped to turn around and when she did, she saw the pain in her lovers eyes. This had to be done. She had to let her go because if she didn’t, Calliope would never be happy. She could not let the woman that she loved so dearly stop her life and hop on a plane to go to Malawi just because she was afraid of losing her. If this - If they were meant to be than in three years, when Arizona returned, they would be. Even still, the pain in Callie’s eyes on brought more tears to her own blue’s as she stood looking at the Latina.
“Please,” Callie begged. Her emotion was flowing so freely now that she thought she might pass out. She was losing Arizona. Her Arizona.
The woman who changed her dreams of never having children just so she could be with Calliope; the woman who had kissed her in a bar bathroom and conveyed to her that when she was ready, people would be lining up for her. Arizona. “Please, I can - we can do this. We can - we can figure this out.”
And suddenly, it was all clear. This was the end. This was the beginning of a very long and painful end.
Arizona shook her head. Tears began to well in her eyes faster than they had before. And she knew, in this moment, that she was doing the right thing. She was making the right decision. As much as it hurt her to do this, she had to. For Calliope. All she’d ever wanted was for Callie to be happy. “You stay here and be happy.” She took a deep breath before finishing her sentence. “And I’ll go there and be happy.”
Callie had tried. She tried to push the situation under the rug, she tried to beg and now, her last resort, was anger. But not because she was truly mad, it was her fear. Fear of losing Arizona all together. Fear of being alone; of being without. Fear of having her heart broken, yet again.
“If you get on that plane; if you go without me, we are done. Do you hear me? We are over.” She tried to push that anger through but in the end, all that came through was hurt, emotion and fear.
With one last push, Arizona spoke the words that she knew would finalize the decision. She knew that if she said this, she was ending it and she would quite possibly never see Calliope again. She had only hoped that she would, one day, forgive her and understand that it was for her. She was doing this for her; for her happiness. She loved the Latina so much that she was doing the only thing she thought possible.
Her voice shaky and her heart broken, Arizona spoke, “We are standing in the middle an airport, screaming at each other. We’re already over.”
Two seconds it took for Arizona to memorize the woman standing in front of her; the woman she would never forget. Two seconds. She then turned on her heels, leaving Callie standing alone, and walked away.
Her tears began to flow freely and as she continued walking, she looked upward and closed her eyes. Opening them once more, she released a very heavy breath and walked away with the hope that in three years, Calliope would not only understand her reason, but also, forgive her.
Author: y0ungalaska
Summary: Just an insight to what I believe the inner thoughts of both Callie and Arizona were during the airport break-up. One-shot.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I own nothing except for my ideas.
Arizona walked alongside her girlfriend through the somewhat crowded airport. Malwai. She was going to Malawi, Africa to help the tiny humans who needed a pediatric surgeon. It was almost unbelievable and she was on top of the world. Well, she would have been if her girlfriend hadn’t been trying to ruin her moment all day. Lost in thought, she walked in step with the Latina and she could hear Callie once again, being sarcastic. She had spent all day listening to her girlfriend’s sarcastic tone. She’d even asked Calliope if she wanted to talk about anything, but the Latina told her no and so they went on with their day.
Not two minutes after asking her, Calliope was shooting off with her sarcasm once again and Arizona was beginning to think that Callie didn’t really want to accompany her to Malawi. She probably should have said something to her loving girlfriend, but she chose to keep her mouth shut because she didn’t want to pop the bubble. The bubble.
Arizona continued to walk as she heard Callie speak, “You know, I’m sure there’s not a lot to do over there, but that just means less to distract us from the medicine. It will just be us...focusing on the medicine...” Arizona stopped in her tracks. Her expression now filled with confusion. “is great...”
In the midst of turning around and noticing that her blonde girlfriend had halted her movement, Callie spoke, “What? Oh my god, did you forget your passport?” She asked as she swung her luggage around.
“I won the Carter Madison Grant,” Arizona spoke, fed up with the day’s events. “I won the Carter Madison Grant.” Arizona made sure to repeat herself. She wanted to convey to her girlfriend just how important this opportunity was for her. Callie blinked and then, raised her eyebrows. “Do you know how rare that is?” Arizona asked.
Callie wore somewhat of a small grin on her face as she nodded her head while her girlfriend continued. “Do you know how special that is?” Callie looked around the crowded airport as the blonde’s voice began to rise in octaves. “This is the biggest opportunity of my professional career.”
Arizona turned away for just a moment before setting her eyes on the slightly taller brunette. “ I-I-I get to go to Malawi with almost unlimited funds and help children; help tiny humans who might otherwise never see a pediatric surgeon.” Callie looked down to her ticket and then behind her. If they didn’t hurry, they were going to miss their flight to Africa. “I get to change lives. That’s the dream; I am living the dream and I am over the moon about it. Or,” Arizona looked to her left and stuttered a bit, “I-I-I would be, but you are ruining it for me” Arizona’s eyes held back her true emotion as she tried to speak as calmly as she could. Callie, on the other hand, stood looking a bit confused. “First with your whining and now, with your fake, smiley, passive-aggressive enthusiasm. You are ruining Africa for me.” She finished with anger now evident in her tone.
“I-I’m not.” Callie stuttered, but still wore somewhat of a smile on her face.
“You are!” Arizona yelled back. Whether she meant to or not, her words and her emotions were now running wild and she felt that the only way her feelings would be reciprocated would be by yelling.
Seeing the conviction on her girlfriend’s face; hearing her tone of voice, the Latina wiped the smile off of her face and stepped forward. She didn’t want to fight with Arizona. Honestly, she just wanted to get on the plane and go to Malawi. True, she had had doubts and she didn’t really want to go, but she wasn’t going to live without Arizona. Not for three years. No. She stepped forward, “Ok, fine. I don’t want to go to Africa, okay?” She leaned in a little closer. “But I do want to be with you, okay? So I’m really trying here.” Her patience was wearing thin with the blonde. She still didn’t quite understand why the blonde was making it so hard for them. All they had to do was scan their ticket, get on the plane and fly to Africa. It wasn’t that hard. “We’re gonna miss our plane, let’s go.” She readjusted the backpack onto her shoulder as she turned around to make her way to the counter. Not hearing footsteps, she turned back around and threw her hands up in the air when she saw that Arizona still hadn’t moved.
“Oh my god, okay,” Callie Torres was not a woman of patience and right now, it had all gone out the window, “You wanna fight? Okay, the flight is 18 hours. We can fight on the plane.” She raised her eyebrows as if to challenge her girlfriend.
“You’re ruining this for me” Arizona spoke, tears now present in her crystal blue eyes. She was defeated. And in that moment, she realized that this wasn’t going to work. If ever she needed to make a decision, this was the time. “I don’t wanna do this.”
Callie stood looking confused. Her eyebrows creased, “Wha-wha-So what does that mean? What? You suddenly don’t wanna go? Or-“
Arizona shook her head slightly. She willed her tears not to fall. Heartbreak. It was the moment she never thought she’d come to again. Last year, after the shooting at Seattle Grace, she vowed that after losing Calliope once, she would never lose her again. She would do everything in her power to keep the woman she loved as happy as she possibly could. But now, standing here face to face in this airport, looking at the woman she loved more than her own life, she realized that she had come full circle. And that being with her, was in fact making Calliope more unhappy than anything. Her mouth moved for a moment without sound before the words she so desperately wished she didn’t have to say, fell out. “I don’t want to go to Africa with you.”
Realization suddenly hit Callie like a hammer to the heart as she stood there, wordless for a moment. Her breathing began to speed up just a little as she willed herself to stay calm. Though in a crowded airport, when those words fell from her beautiful blonde girlfriend’s lips, the world disappeared. “Arizona” she muttered as she began to shake her head, “No, okay? No.”
Arizona, defeated, muttered the only words she could think of. “I’m sorry.” She broke eye contact as the realization, too, hit her in the heart. Those two words; she had hoped that the meaning behind those two words would be conveyed in such a way that the Latina would realize that there was more to them. Arizona was not only sorry for her current actions, but she was also sorry for not keeping her promise. She was sorry for not being able to make Calliope happy; for not being the woman that she knew she could be. So many reasons to say she was sorry. Dropping her head she whispered again, “I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry?” Callie spoke, anger beginning to rise within her. How could Arizona do this? And why did it always happen to her. Where in the handbook of relationships, was it written that Calliope Torres was meant to be left heartbroken every single time.
“I’m sorry.” Arizona whispered yet again.
“You’re sorry?” Callie asked once more. “It’s three years.” She couldn’t believe it. Arizona was going away to Africa for three years and she was acting as though she’d only be gone a week.
Arizona’s heart was breaking. Looking into those chocolate brown orbs, she could tell that this was hurting the Latina. Again, she was hurting her. The one thing she never wanted to do. She shook her head and said the only thing that came to mind, “I’m gonna miss my plane.”
Callie blinked, as though if she did, she would be brought back to a time when everything was good between them; everything was perfect. Almost horrified, she widened her eyes in sheer amazement before Arizona spoke again.
“You take care of yourself.” The blonde spoke taking one last look at her life. Her life. She began to walk away before she completely broke down in front of Callie, in front of the strangers in the airport.
Callie’s eyes slowly followed the blonde until she had passed her up completely. Inhaling sharply, she fought to keep her emotions in line. Was this really happening? Was Arizona really walking away from her right now? This couldn’t be happening. Not again. Not when she had just gotten Arizona back. In the span of three seconds, Callie thought of every single thing they had been through.
She exhaled a heavy breath. This could not be over. “No.” She spoke loudly before turning around to see her now retreating ex-girlfriend.
When Arizona failed to turn around, she yelled even louder, “No!”
Arizona, with her emotions heavy on her heart, finally stopped to turn around and when she did, she saw the pain in her lovers eyes. This had to be done. She had to let her go because if she didn’t, Calliope would never be happy. She could not let the woman that she loved so dearly stop her life and hop on a plane to go to Malawi just because she was afraid of losing her. If this - If they were meant to be than in three years, when Arizona returned, they would be. Even still, the pain in Callie’s eyes on brought more tears to her own blue’s as she stood looking at the Latina.
“Please,” Callie begged. Her emotion was flowing so freely now that she thought she might pass out. She was losing Arizona. Her Arizona.
The woman who changed her dreams of never having children just so she could be with Calliope; the woman who had kissed her in a bar bathroom and conveyed to her that when she was ready, people would be lining up for her. Arizona. “Please, I can - we can do this. We can - we can figure this out.”
And suddenly, it was all clear. This was the end. This was the beginning of a very long and painful end.
Arizona shook her head. Tears began to well in her eyes faster than they had before. And she knew, in this moment, that she was doing the right thing. She was making the right decision. As much as it hurt her to do this, she had to. For Calliope. All she’d ever wanted was for Callie to be happy. “You stay here and be happy.” She took a deep breath before finishing her sentence. “And I’ll go there and be happy.”
Callie had tried. She tried to push the situation under the rug, she tried to beg and now, her last resort, was anger. But not because she was truly mad, it was her fear. Fear of losing Arizona all together. Fear of being alone; of being without. Fear of having her heart broken, yet again.
“If you get on that plane; if you go without me, we are done. Do you hear me? We are over.” She tried to push that anger through but in the end, all that came through was hurt, emotion and fear.
With one last push, Arizona spoke the words that she knew would finalize the decision. She knew that if she said this, she was ending it and she would quite possibly never see Calliope again. She had only hoped that she would, one day, forgive her and understand that it was for her. She was doing this for her; for her happiness. She loved the Latina so much that she was doing the only thing she thought possible.
Her voice shaky and her heart broken, Arizona spoke, “We are standing in the middle an airport, screaming at each other. We’re already over.”
Two seconds it took for Arizona to memorize the woman standing in front of her; the woman she would never forget. Two seconds. She then turned on her heels, leaving Callie standing alone, and walked away.
Her tears began to flow freely and as she continued walking, she looked upward and closed her eyes. Opening them once more, she released a very heavy breath and walked away with the hope that in three years, Calliope would not only understand her reason, but also, forgive her.