goin crazy
sorry i couldnt wait. i need to tyoe or do something to distract me. i hope she calls soon. i kinda have a feeling she is gonna call and say she cant today for some reason... i hope that dosent happen. if i dont see her soon she will TOTALLY block me from her mind. i am already so close to that already, just a few more days and i will be gone to her. and yes i honestly think she will be happy at first. but i know for a fact that in a few months she would realize her mistake and then theis wuld problem will be back but with me on the other side. if that happenes i dont know what i would do. i couldnt put myself throught that again. i need her to decide for sure who she wants so that wont happen. i dont want problems to come back up. but i know if she chooses him, they wont last long. they dont ahve what we have. it wont last long and then shayna will see she wasnt thinking clearly, and i dont think i could fix it ne more. i cant do this again. thats why i need to see her so bad tonight and on friday, so we can talk. i can talk to her calmly even when she isnt. that is my gift and thats what she needs. i honestly think the only way we will fix this is if WE talk. we need to talk, its our problem WE need to fix it, not just her. i just hopes she knows this and lets me help. i dont want her to try to act to strong and blocl me out. you need this help, please open up and let it in... i promise i wont lie to you , u knwo that. all i want to do is help. i wont confuse or misslead you or lie or trick. you know me so much better then that. all i want is u to b happy and have what u want in ur heart..even if thats not me..