(no subject)
I've never allowed myself to think the word before because it's so big, and melodramatic and selfish, and I'm so reasonable. But it crept into my mind tonight and it wouldn't leave. I've always said it's selfish because I think of the people I would leave behind and that isn't fair, that's not fair to do that to them but is it fair to make me keep living for them when I get so little out of it? I don't know why I'm so sad I just know that I don't feel like there's a place for me in the world. I really don't. And I realized this a couple weeks ago and the thought won't leave and all I can think is if there's no place for me here, then why am I still here?