yo
im such a bastard or at least thats what most of my friends think. what is it that makes me an ass. i know ive done my share of really really bad things. but you know what so have other people. im sure that if most people looked at the things they do and the things i do then they wouldnt find great differences. but then again maybe all my friends are freaking saints and im the freaking devil. i dont know. i miss zac again...that bastard moved to chicago. i know a good looking girl up there that i could hook him but with but he seem pretty happy with celia which is awesome. cyrus is got his girl and stuff and didnt come over tonight that bastard. oh well not like im much fun these days. i think i should stab myself in the eyes some days just to see what the world is like when no eyes. maybe it would be more beautiful that way. ive been home like a month now and i really want a girlfriend. there are like 1002324323 billion girls out there and i cant even get a decent girl to like me that i can be with. i guess im an ass because i know at least one girl is reading this is going fucker i wanted to be with you but she is far away and i cant do that....i thought i could but i decided that i cant. i dont know again. lots of things have been thrown at me in the last week and i makes me wonder exactly what im doing here. i should be somewhere else doing something else i think. again i dont know. im just trying to fight my way through spoon long enough to get that associates in science then i think im out like a fat kid in dodgeball. or me in dodgeball whichever. i've kinda been thinking about asking this nina girl out at school but im not sure if she will say yes or no. but sometimes i wonder if i would rather her turn me down then say yes. again i dont know. i feel really really useless these days. there was a fight the other night and i was told that in my four years in the marines that i didnt learn anything and that im exactly the same. well i dont want to be those people. i dont want to be anything like them. i guess they just dont understand me and i dont understand them anymore. sometimes my family is good to go others they just suck and can go to hell. one of my friends went off today because people keep going to his house to play a video game. well i kinda dont understand whats up with that but i kinda do. i mean people are always playing so he doesnt get to do anything on his stuff. but honestly if im on it and he is like hey its my turn then i would just get up and let him have it. i think the problem is that he dont have the guts to say something to us so we dont think anything is wrong. and honestly bitching like he did today doesnt really make the situation better because he just makes himself look like an ass. i just think if you want something then you should do something about it. but thats just me. but yeah i dont know again and im going to do homework and go to bed.