(no subject)
Man can it feels good to cry.
I Want to Know Your Plans, I don't know why, but that song came on tonight on the way to Alisha's house and I bawled. I sat there and I banged my fists and screamed the words as if it pertained to everything going on.
Back track a little - I saw Josh Lida while driving to Blockbuster. I don't know what I felt, but it was borderlining chucking a drink at him from my car while driving passed him or stopping to say hi. While in Blockbuster all I could think of was the end of last year and how all I knew was that I wanted to be better friends with him than Jon and how I couldn't believe we weren't friends sooner. Hanging out with him almost-no, every-weekend with him until we got sick of one another. How him or Jake would call me because I was the organized one and could make plans.
I do wonder how everyone else fell to drugs and I still keep my distance. I've had such influence, and you can tell from everyone I hung out with that I guess it's hard to pass up. People at school that didn't know me gave me this persona of being one of the biggest stoners at school, oh yeah and that I am also a vegetarian. Irony is the funniest creation.
Alisha and I had a funfetti night and watched I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With. Talk about a feel good movie that isn't engrossed in sappy cliches. Best movie to get my mind off everything because you really can't relate...unless you're fat and have horrible luck with women.
-Well, those few hours are exactly what I needed. I got away from every trouble. I hate running away, but you know I can't be strong all the time. I am human and I need to be vulnerable.
My mom is mad, but I am going to dye my hair to a brown. Hopefully it is my natural color. I'm so tired of fake, really I am. I don't care if it's dull, I just need a change and I need it now.
Another thing I want to remember - I love how Sean thought I wanted to pick a booger when I was just fixing my nose piercing, and he told me to just pick it already. I am starting to realize the people I love are the ones who do not judge based on farting, pooping, boogers, and the like. Mind you, I still refuse to let those around me know when I am doing such acts, it's just not my "nature" ((hah)). But all of my friends recently are just so open about it and I love it. I do.
Okay, before I change my mind I need to dye my hair a s a p. Ohhh me, truly that is all I can say for myself.
I Want to Know Your Plans, I don't know why, but that song came on tonight on the way to Alisha's house and I bawled. I sat there and I banged my fists and screamed the words as if it pertained to everything going on.
Back track a little - I saw Josh Lida while driving to Blockbuster. I don't know what I felt, but it was borderlining chucking a drink at him from my car while driving passed him or stopping to say hi. While in Blockbuster all I could think of was the end of last year and how all I knew was that I wanted to be better friends with him than Jon and how I couldn't believe we weren't friends sooner. Hanging out with him almost-no, every-weekend with him until we got sick of one another. How him or Jake would call me because I was the organized one and could make plans.
I do wonder how everyone else fell to drugs and I still keep my distance. I've had such influence, and you can tell from everyone I hung out with that I guess it's hard to pass up. People at school that didn't know me gave me this persona of being one of the biggest stoners at school, oh yeah and that I am also a vegetarian. Irony is the funniest creation.
Alisha and I had a funfetti night and watched I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With. Talk about a feel good movie that isn't engrossed in sappy cliches. Best movie to get my mind off everything because you really can't relate...unless you're fat and have horrible luck with women.
-Well, those few hours are exactly what I needed. I got away from every trouble. I hate running away, but you know I can't be strong all the time. I am human and I need to be vulnerable.
My mom is mad, but I am going to dye my hair to a brown. Hopefully it is my natural color. I'm so tired of fake, really I am. I don't care if it's dull, I just need a change and I need it now.
Another thing I want to remember - I love how Sean thought I wanted to pick a booger when I was just fixing my nose piercing, and he told me to just pick it already. I am starting to realize the people I love are the ones who do not judge based on farting, pooping, boogers, and the like. Mind you, I still refuse to let those around me know when I am doing such acts, it's just not my "nature" ((hah)). But all of my friends recently are just so open about it and I love it. I do.
Okay, before I change my mind I need to dye my hair a s a p. Ohhh me, truly that is all I can say for myself.