Hmmm...This is all quite heavy. To be honest Oldy you don't really know me, at all. Your right it has been fucked up with me and jon, its been on and off and up and down for 9 months, and then there was Ryan involved etc. And what you say about me dumping him for a weekend to go pull? That never happened... It was all fucked up and very confusing, but the truth is, the only part you see of me and jonny is the part where either hes angry at me or im angry at him, you have no idea what our relationship is like when noone else is involved. I did mess him up...And there are things that I do regret doing, but when I look back I dont know what I would have done to do them differently. I've always had feelings for jonny but I guess one of the problems was the fact that I wasnt over Ryan and I kept diving into other things whilst I was still in love with someone else. That was a mistake...but I cant change it now. As I say, it takes two to tango, I never forced jonny to be how he was with me, I never said we were anything more than we were, and I never lied. People get hurt, it happens, I didnt force anything upon him. And your saying I control jonny...well I dont think I do...Ive never been one of the girls that stops the guys going out with their friends and things like that. I admit I get jealous easilly, and that was probably the cause to many arguements...but I didnt control him. The other thing is, people cant be controlled unless they LET themselves be controlled. Jonny has his own mind, I didnt use some kind of electrical mind control device. You say I always mess jonny about, I guess I did, only because I didnt know what I wanted. But now im actually saying that im serious and that I actually want to commit and STOP the messing around...you STILL have some bone to pick with it. I understand why your saying all this because hes your mate and all that and ive always been seen as the "evil bitch" I guess, but you dont know me, or how we are. ALL of jonnys friends have judged me right from the beginning. You actually used to be alright with me, until everyone else started talking, I tried to be ok with all his mates but from the very beginning I just felt like they all hated me so I gave up. I guess that doesnt really matter now anyway. Please just accept that im actually being sincere because I dont want this to be any harder than it already is. And jonny...you saying all this about she does one thing wrong and im out of there quicker than whatever...well if your actually deciding your going to be in an actual RELATIONSHIP you cant expect it to all be rosy all the time. Anyway, thats all I have to say, I guess it doesnt matter anyway.
I did mess him up...And there are things that I do regret doing, but when I look back I dont know what I would have done to do them differently. I've always had feelings for jonny but I guess one of the problems was the fact that I wasnt over Ryan and I kept diving into other things whilst I was still in love with someone else. That was a mistake...but I cant change it now.
As I say, it takes two to tango, I never forced jonny to be how he was with me, I never said we were anything more than we were, and I never lied. People get hurt, it happens, I didnt force anything upon him.
And your saying I control jonny...well I dont think I do...Ive never been one of the girls that stops the guys going out with their friends and things like that. I admit I get jealous easilly, and that was probably the cause to many arguements...but I didnt control him. The other thing is, people cant be controlled unless they LET themselves be controlled. Jonny has his own mind, I didnt use some kind of electrical mind control device.
You say I always mess jonny about, I guess I did, only because I didnt know what I wanted. But now im actually saying that im serious and that I actually want to commit and STOP the messing around...you STILL have some bone to pick with it.
I understand why your saying all this because hes your mate and all that and ive always been seen as the "evil bitch" I guess, but you dont know me, or how we are.
ALL of jonnys friends have judged me right from the beginning. You actually used to be alright with me, until everyone else started talking, I tried to be ok with all his mates but from the very beginning I just felt like they all hated me so I gave up.
I guess that doesnt really matter now anyway.
Please just accept that im actually being sincere because I dont want this to be any harder than it already is.
And jonny...you saying all this about she does one thing wrong and im out of there quicker than whatever...well if your actually deciding your going to be in an actual RELATIONSHIP you cant expect it to all be rosy all the time.
Anyway, thats all I have to say, I guess it doesnt matter anyway.
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