Now talking's just a waste of breath and living's just a waste of death...

[xxtakemyheart11]

And after a few times you ask yourself why do you get close to a person even grow to love someone if they're just going to have to leave you in the end. Whether it be in death or love it all ends the same. Someone leaving you to be alone in this world too big for one person. It's like irony and fate are too close in hand. you work you ass off to be this image that everyone wants to see and trying to find out who you are just to have things come crashing down again. it just makes you want to not try and do anything because you know you're doomed to failure and you don't want to get close to anyone because you know that one way or another they're going to leave you. it just makes you so insecure about the tiniest things that may seem a bit irrational but who said the human mind was sane anyway. we're all on this invisible pattern; we're born and we die but no science can tell you what happens in between, why some people are the richest and some people are the happiest or why some people get dealt these live that just seem so unbearable it's impossible to thing of. Then there's the people who tend to live fairly normal lives but there's no such thing as normal and no one wants to live and die with out a name. our whole lives are based on things that don't exist or things that aren't the way we thought they were. there's these ideas that are drilled into our heads from birth that just lead us into this false reality. it's when you hit that broken step in this ladder of life that there's a fine line between the people strong enough to get up and move on with no further thought and those thought to be weak that dwell on things that have passed. i remember seeing his eyes glaze, his hands go cold, his chest slowly stop rising and that's the most heart breaking thing there is to witness. a memory that no matter how much you try will never leave your mind and i know that i'm not strong enough to go through that again. and there's points in my life where there are so many thoughts and problems and things running through my head there's no where to put them so i write. putting things in to words is one of the simplest yet hardest thing there is to do but it helps it truly does there's no better feeling than writing how you truly feel with no inhibitions. so if anyone can explain to me why people have to die, why people have to leave you, or just why some people don't care at all give me a call because i've been waiting for the answer my whole life.


-- Sarah

Sally Honsaker -- RIP 1-8-06 -- Loving mother, wife, and grandmother

Ted Yanowsky -- RIP 5-15-04 -- Loving husband, father, and grandfather