(no subject)
so i hate my mom. im not allowed to go to semi because my cousin died about two weeks ago. semi is in december. and my moms like "youre lucky, instead of one year of mourning im only making you do three months." wtf. its SEMI. and i want to take andy. but shes being a gay ass. i wanna smack her. shes fucking ruining my life. and i really feel like andy is my last chance to make things right in this world. cuz the person i thought i meant the world to didnt have concern beyond his own interest. oh well. i just hope that things between me and andy arent falling apart at the moment. i really dont think i could handle it. i dunno what to do to show him that hes important to me. and i dunno what to do because my moms being a bitch saying that since he had surgery on his knee that he wont be able to dance at semi. FINE. THEN WELL SIT AND TALK. geez. its not like i could dance for 3 hours straight in a tight dress that i cant breathe in and high heels anyway. and of course no guy wants to dance for more than 10 minutes at a time. but would andy feel comfortable?! should i bring my 20 year old boyfriend to my high school's semi-formal? is that the right thing to do? will it just be awkward? i dunno. i dont things to be awkward for him. but i really REALLY wanna go to semi with him. and so what if im taller than when i wear heels. ill freaking take them off. my mom hates me. and i hate her. and i dunno what im gonna do with my life. i need to talk about my college plans with andy. i told him when we went out on sunday that i was moving to california and he flipped out. "but i wont get to visit you!" he said. 1) that made me happy, cuz he actually WANTS to see me, and thats always nice 2) he just may be thinking that this relationship will last. how will we make it last?! i have absolutely no idea. we are holding on so damn tight to this teeny peice of thread. but i like it when he drives me around :] its nice. i really like him. he reminds me of westley from the princess bride. mmmmm. yeah. hes more attractive than me. i wish hed freaking call. he hasnt called me since weve gone out. that kinda makes me nervous. because when we left, things didnt end on the best note. but whatever.