love....grrrrrr
So, I'm going to be sitting here all day long...again! And all day today there are all sorts of romantic movies on today. When a Man Loves a Woman, Sleeples in Seattle, etc, etc. So, not only do I get to sit here bored out of my mind, I get to watch these movies and also feel incredibly lonely. Yay.
What I want to know is...the love that they portray in movies...is that real? I mean, do people really love eachother like they do in some of these movies? I thought I was in love when I was with Jeremie...but it wasn't. I just really, really liked him a lot at first and thought I couldn't be without him. But all that faded, and I was left with a possesive, controlling jerk. But I mean, I watch movies sometimes, and I see that intense love they always show, and I want that...soooo badly. I want to feel like I don't want to be a day without someone. I want to know that they don't want to be a day without me. And I just want to know if people really love eachother that much.
I've never really talked to anyone that was truly "in love" or anything. My parents certainly weren't. I was concieved in what I imagine was meant to be a one night stand, or at least a very short lived relationship. But instead, they stayed together for 18 years...probably miserable and unhappy the majority of the time. My mom finally left because she was unhappy, but I mean...18 years of her life she spent with a man she wasn't in love with! I am upset at the 3 and a half years I spent with Jeremie. But she's spent almost my entire lifetime with my father. And I know she did it for my sister and I...but that's just scary. So much time spent with a person that you don't even want to be with.
Anyway, if there is love like in the movies...I want it. I want to love and be loved *so* badly. I want to hug someone and just get lost in their arms. I want to be with them and feel so comfortable and safe that nothing else matters. I want to not feel lonely anymore. *sigh*
What I want to know is...the love that they portray in movies...is that real? I mean, do people really love eachother like they do in some of these movies? I thought I was in love when I was with Jeremie...but it wasn't. I just really, really liked him a lot at first and thought I couldn't be without him. But all that faded, and I was left with a possesive, controlling jerk. But I mean, I watch movies sometimes, and I see that intense love they always show, and I want that...soooo badly. I want to feel like I don't want to be a day without someone. I want to know that they don't want to be a day without me. And I just want to know if people really love eachother that much.
I've never really talked to anyone that was truly "in love" or anything. My parents certainly weren't. I was concieved in what I imagine was meant to be a one night stand, or at least a very short lived relationship. But instead, they stayed together for 18 years...probably miserable and unhappy the majority of the time. My mom finally left because she was unhappy, but I mean...18 years of her life she spent with a man she wasn't in love with! I am upset at the 3 and a half years I spent with Jeremie. But she's spent almost my entire lifetime with my father. And I know she did it for my sister and I...but that's just scary. So much time spent with a person that you don't even want to be with.
Anyway, if there is love like in the movies...I want it. I want to love and be loved *so* badly. I want to hug someone and just get lost in their arms. I want to be with them and feel so comfortable and safe that nothing else matters. I want to not feel lonely anymore. *sigh*