going out again? nope
Well, Nicole just messaged me and asked if I wanted to go out again tonight. And as much as I hated so many parts of it last night, I still considered it. I guess I just liked the attention when people danced with me. It was nice to have someone close to me again. And it made me feel like they chose *me* for some reason. So maybe I'm not too repulsive after all. I don't know. I really hate the atmosphere there. It's disgusting. And I hated the stupid drunk people too. But...I don't know.
And then I was sitting here thinking, "maybe I'll call up Nicole and tell her that if she brings any cute guys back tonight, to call me over". I don't even know why. What do I think I'm going to do with them? I think I just want some affection. I want to be held and kissed. But it's not like those guys would want me anyway. So, what am I thinking? I'm truly a big loser. Heh. I don't want to be with a dumb drunk guy. But I'm feeling so alone all the time. Grrr. I hate this feeling of desperation. Like I'd just make out with some random guy. What good will that do anyone? Oh, that's right...NONE! Now I feel like a big slut. Sheesh. *sigh* Ugh.
And then I was sitting here thinking, "maybe I'll call up Nicole and tell her that if she brings any cute guys back tonight, to call me over". I don't even know why. What do I think I'm going to do with them? I think I just want some affection. I want to be held and kissed. But it's not like those guys would want me anyway. So, what am I thinking? I'm truly a big loser. Heh. I don't want to be with a dumb drunk guy. But I'm feeling so alone all the time. Grrr. I hate this feeling of desperation. Like I'd just make out with some random guy. What good will that do anyone? Oh, that's right...NONE! Now I feel like a big slut. Sheesh. *sigh* Ugh.