BOXED IN AGAIN!!
Nina god i miss san diego my dad did it again, and i keep and stayig here, what is wrong with me?
This weekend seemed to be all good. We went to a family party and my mom got trashed, i got trashed, my dad as usual got beyond trashed! I was hanging out with john and jay. Roxie made us some straberry dakeries(yummy) and i was having fun, i was happy, FINNALY!
Well of course my dad knows how to screw up my good mood. On sunday we were all getting over a hangover, wtching movies, just relaxing.My dad turns to me and asked me if i wanted to go shopping! i was like YEAH!!! He gave me his credit card and told me to only spend 200 bucks.I told him ok, got ready and was off to the mall.
I was so excited and so happy, but i couldn't help but think, wow my dad is in a good mood for once. fter shopping i went back home and my parents were curious about the stuff i bought and how much i spent. I showed them all my clothes and told them i only spent 188 dollars. Thinking to myself, "thank god i didn't go over 200" My dad kinda smiled and said thats good nice stuff. Out of no where he then tells me that i have to pay him back the money the "LOANED" me with my pay checks from work! I was like "what! why u said u were buying me these clothes and that U wanted me to look good" He was like no u have to pay me back for this!
Thats how is all began!
See nina my dad starts shit with me all the time, its like when he is bored,an idea of, "lets beat rechell" comes into his mind.He gave me that money to trick me into buying 188 dollars worth of clothes to pay him back!
I told him no i am not going to pay u back i am going to return all these clothes because i was not aware that i had to give u the money back with all the paychecks i get from working. I said " if i knew i was gonna have to pay him back i would not have spent 188 on clothes i would have saved it to do somthing else not so i can give u all my money", then i said that i am not going to work so i can give u all my pay checks i am going to work to pay for my phone bill and save money to get my own place someday. That really pisses him off cuz the next thing i remeber was him screaimng at me saying i am talking back to him and disrespecting him..sameO sameO things he says to me all the time.
So i said dad here are the clothes i don't want them sorry u forgot to mention that this was all a loan. I said i am not stupid enought to spend 188 dollars on clothes when i don't get paid enougth to buy that! So he said that he was taking the car away and that i cant' go to school anymore. I got made of course and told him that he can take the car away but he can't take my school away. I said," why did i come here, so i can clean after u, and not go to school, NO"
The next thing i remember is him grabbing my hair and throwing me to the floor and kicking me and screaming at me. He started saying i was a whore and that i am evil. I get up and started screaming and crying back at him about how no one should ever hit another person, that i didnt' deserve this, how i wish i was in California, and that i hate him!!
Then he grabbed some object getting ready to throw it at me, t try to move away from it but i don't and it hits me in the face, he grabbed other stuff and throws them at me....
Remember i still haven't hit him back or anything as he does all this to me!! Some how i get somethin that he threw at me off the floor and throw it back screaming for him to leave me alone, so he runs up to me and smakes me in the face!! and said if i disrespect him again he is gonna throw me out...
U know me nina i don't care if i am getting beat up, i say what ever i think, so i told him u don't have to throw me out i am leaving...i should have left last time, i don;'t knwo why i came back here!
thats when he stopped and said Try and LEAVE!
ISN'T THAT SCARRY.
i don't knwo what i am going to do, he has beaten me AGAIN, the 3rd time in one month, ever since i came back from SD. I am still here. i don't know why i stay is weird i feel like i am brain washed and that i deserved to get hit like that. i want to leave but i just can't get myself out the door and on a plane. What am i doing here. I am still thinking "Did i do somthing wrong? What did i Do to make him do that to me? How do i change myself to make him happy? I am lost nina and i am alone just like he wanted.
The worst is i cant' get myselft to leave! Alls i do now is sleep and dream about being with all my friends, the family that i had that really loved me.
I miss u, whiteny,amos,ryan,Q,ola,aline,annie,shelly,shawn,amanda,sejie,richard,scotty,tyler,and isac. i miss all of them. I cant' even talk to anyone really cuz he broke my cell phone, i can't use the house phone cuz he listens to my convosations.
The only way i can talk to anyone is aim but that doesn't even work either. LASTLY is this livejournal. thank god u made this for me. if i had to pick one last person to talk to, it would be u, i just wish everyone else had this so i can tlka to them to. have some kind of peace at mind over here in this hell hole!
i am BOXED IN AGAIN call me nina if u can or anyone respond!