And You're Falling From The Bridge That Goes Straight Into The Verse
I feel really guilty right now. Cameron is one of the nicest guys I know and probably the best friend I have right now. And there’s still a number of reasons it wouldn’t work (I don’t want to ruin this friendship, I still don’t know how I feel about him, I’m way too screwed up to try anything right now) but he’s... do you know what it’s like to ( Read more... )
After all of the drama you've been through this year with guys (particularly the crap you've had to deal with from people like Justin and Freddy), I can only offer you a little advice...which is that I think you should really avoid relationships for awhile. I'm not trying to be patronising at all, I just think you need a break. You've been through a lot, and it seems like these guys are hurting you more than they're helping you because they can't make up their minds and be mature...I just think you might want to take some time to recouperate.
Cameron seems like a great guy for supporting you, and I think it's awesome that you two can be so open with each other (especially about him asking you out, lol). Nonetheless, don't go further than friends with benefits with him - just wait. Work on developing and maintaining your friendship. You're such a kind-hearted person and you care about people so easily and loyally that maybe you let things progress too quickly, and then the guy ends up letting you down. Make sure your friendship with Cameron can withstand breakups and fights before getting involved with him, if it's what you want. But, bottom line, just take some time off! Spend some quality time with yourself; do things that you want to do (writing, for instance). Raise your standards and don't let a guy claim your affections quite so easily. You deserve nothing less than the best, so don't settle!
As for Chris...I can see that you still feel deeply about him, which is another reason not to get involved with Cameron. Wait until you've healed from Chris, otherwise you might leave Cameron feeling like second best and hurt him. Cameron may really like you, but just because he wants to be with you doesn't mean that you should feel obligated to start something. He'll have to deal with his feelings, and respect that you have some of your own to deal with. I'm betting that he'll understand this, as from your MSN conversations he seems like a very caring, understanding guy.
I guess the basic thing here is to take a break, and take it slower with guys in the future. In your life, you should be number one, and you should be looking out for yourself before you concern yourself with others. Love yourself before you love others...know what I mean?
Besides, taking a break from dating (as I'm doing now) is actually fun. So many stars in the sky, and you don't have to commit to any of them!
I'm not trying to control your life or anything though, lol. Just trying to give my perspective on the situation in hopes that it'll help. You don't have to do what I say if it doesn't feel right to you. ;)
I hope you're doing okay, all of this social life stuff seems really heavy. :S Hopefully it's easier for you next year...if you need to talk or anything, e-mail me or we can plan to meet up on MSN! *hugs* Good luck with everything!
-Panda
(I'll try to comment more in the future, lol.)
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Nope, it didn't have anything to do with Tiff. (Though me and her still aren't talking. Last day of school she had one of her bitchy friends tell me I was a backstabber because I "stole" Cameron from her. Cam was very surprised to learn she owned him, lol. Then she called me a whore so I decided to just ignore her and block her out of my life. She can't be mature, I don't want to hear it. If she wants to try friendship in September, I'll give her another shot, but I want a stress free summer.)
Honestly, I have no idea what it was. He just said it didn't feel right anymore and went totally emo for two weeks. I think he was just going through another one of his depressions and... I don't really know, but I think it was harder on him than me because he felt so guilty. We weren't on speaking terms, but we slowly went back to being friends, and then became really close again. But, as I'd mentioned, the last couple weeks of June we'd started flirting again, and then on the 1st he said he was sorry for screwing everything up and he wanted to get back together. So, we've been back together for almost two weeks now. And I think I made the right decision. If things fall apart again, I know it isn't going to hurt me as much as the first two times, I've just managed to accept that high school relationships don't last forever and you might as well just have fun with them. The month of being single did give me time to think it over, though, and I'm glad I took that break.
Cameron and me are just friends, close friends but just friends none the less. He seems to have gotten over me (or at least stopped asking me out) and I realized I never really liked him in the first place.
Anyway! Right now things are pretty okay, I'm going on vacation Monday for a couple of weeks and I'll be able to take a break from everything and write! I've actually been writing a lot lately, I miss it. ^_^ How's your writing going? We haven't talked in ages!! Hope to hear from you again soon, and thanks for the advice. You're the best, Panda. ;)
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Okay, I was just confused about Tiff because you seemed mad at her and that seemed to connect with the Chris situation. It's pretty cool that you're going to give her a chance to prove herself again, most people wouldn't do that.
Ahh, my ex was like Chris sounds, in a way. He started getting emo (well, actually, his thing is "traumatized gangster" rather than emo) too. I got fed up with his behaviour and broke it off with him. I don't want a significant other that I have to "look after," I want an equal who can hold his own. I have no problem being a crying shoulder and all, but all the time? Maybe I'm just mean, though! :P Anyhow, I hope things are going well with you two now that you're back together.
Heyyy, you're still friend with a guy who's liked you...don't most of them end up turning into jerks? Lol. It's cool that you and Cameron are close, he sounds like a good guy.
Ooh, vacation - where're you going? And you'd better get some writing done, you hardly update on FP anymore (though I notice you did finish that piece about the chess player recently - I'm going to check that out and review it). My writing's going okay; I'm finally re-starting my writing LJ (hopefully successfully, lol). And I know, it's been forever since we've talked! Damn life getting in the way, eh? Maybe I'll be able to catch you online after your vacation, unless you'll have a computer during that time, in which case hopefully I'll talk to you then!
No problem about the advice, and YES, I am the best. I even have a fan club. *poses* Lmao! :P
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