the big payback
ive been on an odd james brown kick lately - in private of course - its not that i am ashamed of this - but some music i just cant rock out to in my car without looking like a damn fool.
this is soo lame - but ive been talking to this guy online for past month. and i think i am going to bite the bullet and meet him. we have been talking on phone a whole lot lately - those long "so-highschool" late night phone conversations that make you feel soo giddy and fantastic. we talk so much i am breaking out from talking on my phone so much. i havent told him about me being married though and going through a divorce. i decided that if i tell him now it will make me look dumb. if anything serious happens to us though i guess i will have to tell him. is it wrong to withhold that type of information? in some ways i think it might be deceitful of me not to tell him - but whatever i dont want to scare him off.
my divorce should be finalized sometime within next couple weeks though. so that will be strange. michael and i still talk on the phone everyday. we no doubt love each other - but its different for obvious reasons and i still stand behind my choice to divorce him.
ive decided to call things off with hussein. ill still hang out with him when we hang out - but im not going to sleep with him anymore - at all. just because i feel soo dirty about this whole situation. and because I KNOW IM BETTER THEN THIS. it just really bothers me because - he always asks me if i am sleeping with anyone else and i know it would bother him if i told him i was - but i dont lie about it - i havent been sleeping with anyone but him for the past few months. and when i return the question and ask him he is always like no. ughh... fuck that. i soo dug myself in this hole with him. sometimes things are too good to be true and you know it at the time - and you might even say to yourself - this is too good to be true - at that moment - and you know what - it usually really is too good to be true. this is a mans world but it wouldnt be nothing without a woman or a girl.
make a new plan stan.
tonight eric kendalls band is playing at broadway joes - i guess that ricky is in band now too. the stay lows. so i get to see two ex boyfriends for the price of one or something. meh. it should be a pleasant evening. now i just have to find someone to drag with me. heather probably has to work. and tonight is brauns night so everyone will probably want to go there. bleh.
maybe i will call christopher mekker. heather, lori and i hung out with him last week for a night. grr but he might be mad at me because he called me a couple nights later and i was sleeping - and i answered phone but hung up on him and when he called back i pushed ignore - because i was in a sleep haze. and he left a mesasge saying something like what the fuck thats soo wrong that you answer the phone and then hang up on me. im sure he wont be that mad though. ive done worse to him.
i wish i knew how to add pictures in this - i would add a picture of my new hair.
ok time to get going.
this is soo lame - but ive been talking to this guy online for past month. and i think i am going to bite the bullet and meet him. we have been talking on phone a whole lot lately - those long "so-highschool" late night phone conversations that make you feel soo giddy and fantastic. we talk so much i am breaking out from talking on my phone so much. i havent told him about me being married though and going through a divorce. i decided that if i tell him now it will make me look dumb. if anything serious happens to us though i guess i will have to tell him. is it wrong to withhold that type of information? in some ways i think it might be deceitful of me not to tell him - but whatever i dont want to scare him off.
my divorce should be finalized sometime within next couple weeks though. so that will be strange. michael and i still talk on the phone everyday. we no doubt love each other - but its different for obvious reasons and i still stand behind my choice to divorce him.
ive decided to call things off with hussein. ill still hang out with him when we hang out - but im not going to sleep with him anymore - at all. just because i feel soo dirty about this whole situation. and because I KNOW IM BETTER THEN THIS. it just really bothers me because - he always asks me if i am sleeping with anyone else and i know it would bother him if i told him i was - but i dont lie about it - i havent been sleeping with anyone but him for the past few months. and when i return the question and ask him he is always like no. ughh... fuck that. i soo dug myself in this hole with him. sometimes things are too good to be true and you know it at the time - and you might even say to yourself - this is too good to be true - at that moment - and you know what - it usually really is too good to be true. this is a mans world but it wouldnt be nothing without a woman or a girl.
make a new plan stan.
tonight eric kendalls band is playing at broadway joes - i guess that ricky is in band now too. the stay lows. so i get to see two ex boyfriends for the price of one or something. meh. it should be a pleasant evening. now i just have to find someone to drag with me. heather probably has to work. and tonight is brauns night so everyone will probably want to go there. bleh.
maybe i will call christopher mekker. heather, lori and i hung out with him last week for a night. grr but he might be mad at me because he called me a couple nights later and i was sleeping - and i answered phone but hung up on him and when he called back i pushed ignore - because i was in a sleep haze. and he left a mesasge saying something like what the fuck thats soo wrong that you answer the phone and then hang up on me. im sure he wont be that mad though. ive done worse to him.
i wish i knew how to add pictures in this - i would add a picture of my new hair.
ok time to get going.