(no subject)
well i havent written in a super long time - much has happened - not sure exactly where to begin and if i should even bother.
- latest news -
i pulled a total psycho move a couple hours ago and i guess im still in shock because i really dont even feel anything or maybe i just dont feel anything and feel like i should. ok here is the deal with hussein and i - we havent hung out in a really long time because he was out of town and i have been busy and i had to go to elmira for 3 days like shortly after he got back. so tonight i called him and he didnt pick up - and then his voice message thing picked up and i pushed the star button and made a guess at his password - and i was right - and there was a message on his machine - and i listioned to it -- ok ok i know its total psycho - whatever. but it was a girl and she was all like - thanks for the other night putting up with my drunk self and blah blah i know we will see each other again and blah blah. and i feel semi sick about it - because last night we hung out. like what happened was we hung out - and we went to jt wheatfields first to go pick up people - which is hard when there are just two of you and you are opposite sex - because we cramp each others style. but yeah that guy who i walked out on date a while ago was there. but then we went to brennans and met heather up there - but i was feeling sleepy because i had driven all day back to buffalo and what not - soo i decided togo home and heather said that she would drive hussein home. soo to make long story short is that the two of them got drunka nd called me around 420 or soo and i went and picked them up then i drove hussein home last night- and i ended up staying night and having sex. i guess i dont care if he is with other girls - but i wouldnt have slept with him if i knew he was fucking around with drunk girls named laura. he should have told me. because we talk about stuff like that - like he told me about this older girl in atlantic city that groped his package - but like why wouldnt he tell me about this chick... but now - there is nothing i can do about it - because my evidence is not valid because i obtained it illegally. so whatever. he is cut off till he comes clean - and then maybe if he tells me that he is sleeping with someone else i will sleep with him. but all this deceit makes me sick. maybe i dont really care and i am just making myself feel sick. yeah i guess i dont give a fuck.
oh earlier today i went to the bills game - that sucked because we lost and because it was cold and because i dont really care much for football.
it was one of those nights tonight where it seemed ideal to go to the movies - so i went by myself to see the magdeline sisters - im not sure if i spelled that right. but it was a great movie - and i recommend it to my friends who are girls. it was really sad - mostly because it was true - but also because for some reason i felt like i related to some of the characters. i cried. i havent cried alone in a movie theatre since the piano last year.
oh - on thursday morning we receieved a phone call from my 91 year old great aunts neighbor. bad stuff happened - so my mother and i drove up there - im not going to get into the story because its really sad and i just dont want to talk about it - but she is doing better now and we spent three days at the hospital in elmira with her = and it was a real life changing expierence. i always wanted to be old like really old with gray hair and grandkids and wrinkles but im not so sure anymore. i realized i am a lot more like then my aunt dorthy then i ever imagined and its not really that great of a thing.
what else -
i got my hair done - i got my highlights done. im not too happy with them but they arent that bad i decided.
shit i have to go - but ill write more about whats going on - in morning i guess
- latest news -
i pulled a total psycho move a couple hours ago and i guess im still in shock because i really dont even feel anything or maybe i just dont feel anything and feel like i should. ok here is the deal with hussein and i - we havent hung out in a really long time because he was out of town and i have been busy and i had to go to elmira for 3 days like shortly after he got back. so tonight i called him and he didnt pick up - and then his voice message thing picked up and i pushed the star button and made a guess at his password - and i was right - and there was a message on his machine - and i listioned to it -- ok ok i know its total psycho - whatever. but it was a girl and she was all like - thanks for the other night putting up with my drunk self and blah blah i know we will see each other again and blah blah. and i feel semi sick about it - because last night we hung out. like what happened was we hung out - and we went to jt wheatfields first to go pick up people - which is hard when there are just two of you and you are opposite sex - because we cramp each others style. but yeah that guy who i walked out on date a while ago was there. but then we went to brennans and met heather up there - but i was feeling sleepy because i had driven all day back to buffalo and what not - soo i decided togo home and heather said that she would drive hussein home. soo to make long story short is that the two of them got drunka nd called me around 420 or soo and i went and picked them up then i drove hussein home last night- and i ended up staying night and having sex. i guess i dont care if he is with other girls - but i wouldnt have slept with him if i knew he was fucking around with drunk girls named laura. he should have told me. because we talk about stuff like that - like he told me about this older girl in atlantic city that groped his package - but like why wouldnt he tell me about this chick... but now - there is nothing i can do about it - because my evidence is not valid because i obtained it illegally. so whatever. he is cut off till he comes clean - and then maybe if he tells me that he is sleeping with someone else i will sleep with him. but all this deceit makes me sick. maybe i dont really care and i am just making myself feel sick. yeah i guess i dont give a fuck.
oh earlier today i went to the bills game - that sucked because we lost and because it was cold and because i dont really care much for football.
it was one of those nights tonight where it seemed ideal to go to the movies - so i went by myself to see the magdeline sisters - im not sure if i spelled that right. but it was a great movie - and i recommend it to my friends who are girls. it was really sad - mostly because it was true - but also because for some reason i felt like i related to some of the characters. i cried. i havent cried alone in a movie theatre since the piano last year.
oh - on thursday morning we receieved a phone call from my 91 year old great aunts neighbor. bad stuff happened - so my mother and i drove up there - im not going to get into the story because its really sad and i just dont want to talk about it - but she is doing better now and we spent three days at the hospital in elmira with her = and it was a real life changing expierence. i always wanted to be old like really old with gray hair and grandkids and wrinkles but im not so sure anymore. i realized i am a lot more like then my aunt dorthy then i ever imagined and its not really that great of a thing.
what else -
i got my hair done - i got my highlights done. im not too happy with them but they arent that bad i decided.
shit i have to go - but ill write more about whats going on - in morning i guess