...:::Tattered Wings and Shattered Things:::...
I really don't have much to say right now, I'm just trying desperately to fill the void of boredom induced by insomnia at the moment.
I worked on my website for about an hour or so, I added a new page on erotica. Fun fun. I got burned out on working my ass off and played on some message boards for a while. I'm actually bored as hell with the internet right now, I've had enough of it for today but there is absolutely nothing on television worth watching. I'm growing to despise tv everytime I turn the damn thing on.
Self destructive? Yes. At times I wonder if everyone feels this way, even little things are too much for me to handle. I'm on an emotional rollercoaster 24/7. Thats what happens when you have a Scorpio sun, venus and pluto all in the 12th house of secret sorrows and self undoing. Pair that with a pisces moon and you have some intense emotions that are seemingly uncontrollable, self-destructive, manipulative, and just downright vindictive. I get so damn bored and it sends me into a violent rage that I don't know how to control. I feel it building up inside of me and it all comes out in anger, I just snap.
I don't really use this journal as much as my actual notebook journal, I write in that several times a day. It's almost completely full, i'm gonna have to spring for another one as soon as I get some extra cash. It's been a while since I've had money to throw around. It's kinda nice for a change, weird tho. I'm really not use to it, what I *am* use to is scrounging for money and counting every cent that comes into my grasp every day for over a year. I feel better physically now, but the problem is that I never know what to do now. I have no hobbies, I don't know what to do for fun. Everything feels so dead.
I'm signed into MSN messenger, the only form of instant messenger that I actually use. It's filled with people that I don't know, I have no idea who 90% of them are or how they got my info, I'm assuming that it's from my website, that has more members than I can actually believe sometimes. I get so annoyed with people IM'n me and acting like they know me, none of these people know who I am or give a shit about me one way or the other. Maybe I should feel flattered but I don't, I feel bugged. I hate getting IM's from stupid perverse men that have one line "do you have a cam?" No motherfucker I don't! If I did, I wouldn't turn it on for your stupid ass. What makes you think that you're different or more special than all of the others who ask the same questions? Do you think that you are gonna make an impression? Sure let me take my clothes off on cam for you. Jerk your dick and think about it because thats about all the action I'm sure most of you motherfuckers get, your hand and a fantasy. Here comes the flood of Im's now. Gotta Go.
I worked on my website for about an hour or so, I added a new page on erotica. Fun fun. I got burned out on working my ass off and played on some message boards for a while. I'm actually bored as hell with the internet right now, I've had enough of it for today but there is absolutely nothing on television worth watching. I'm growing to despise tv everytime I turn the damn thing on.
Self destructive? Yes. At times I wonder if everyone feels this way, even little things are too much for me to handle. I'm on an emotional rollercoaster 24/7. Thats what happens when you have a Scorpio sun, venus and pluto all in the 12th house of secret sorrows and self undoing. Pair that with a pisces moon and you have some intense emotions that are seemingly uncontrollable, self-destructive, manipulative, and just downright vindictive. I get so damn bored and it sends me into a violent rage that I don't know how to control. I feel it building up inside of me and it all comes out in anger, I just snap.
I don't really use this journal as much as my actual notebook journal, I write in that several times a day. It's almost completely full, i'm gonna have to spring for another one as soon as I get some extra cash. It's been a while since I've had money to throw around. It's kinda nice for a change, weird tho. I'm really not use to it, what I *am* use to is scrounging for money and counting every cent that comes into my grasp every day for over a year. I feel better physically now, but the problem is that I never know what to do now. I have no hobbies, I don't know what to do for fun. Everything feels so dead.
I'm signed into MSN messenger, the only form of instant messenger that I actually use. It's filled with people that I don't know, I have no idea who 90% of them are or how they got my info, I'm assuming that it's from my website, that has more members than I can actually believe sometimes. I get so annoyed with people IM'n me and acting like they know me, none of these people know who I am or give a shit about me one way or the other. Maybe I should feel flattered but I don't, I feel bugged. I hate getting IM's from stupid perverse men that have one line "do you have a cam?" No motherfucker I don't! If I did, I wouldn't turn it on for your stupid ass. What makes you think that you're different or more special than all of the others who ask the same questions? Do you think that you are gonna make an impression? Sure let me take my clothes off on cam for you. Jerk your dick and think about it because thats about all the action I'm sure most of you motherfuckers get, your hand and a fantasy. Here comes the flood of Im's now. Gotta Go.