Miserable
Do you ever get that feeling that you're completely exhausted and you really need to sleep, yet you stay up any way because you really don't want to succumb to sleep. It just sounds terrible to give up for the day? I'm kind of in that boat right now. I mean granted today I did go to school. Though fun story about that.
Sidenote: So I woke up normal time and looked at the clock on my phone and was like, "Cool, bro, it's only 8:35, I'll give myself like five more minutes. Alright." So I go back to lying down with my eyes closed and suddenly I hear my sister get up and start moving around. Which on Tuesdays and Thursdays is unheard of. She's never up before I leave the house for school, like ever. So I shoot up in bed and look at the clock on my phone again to see that it's 9:45. But my brain doesn't register this, that I've slept a whole nother extra hour. I'm like, "Shit! I've got fifteen minutes to get to the bus stop." So I scramble to get ready and groggily walk out of the house, locking the door and walking to the bus stop. I'm thinking I'm doing okay when I look at the clock and realize that it's now 10:10. How the fuck did I lose an hour? Realizing my mistake its obvious why Faith and Echo aren't waiting for the bus. So I had to call Amanda and arrange to have my cigarettes delivered to me after class by Faith, as Amanda was leaving right after her first class which was out significantly sooner than mine. As I'm on the bus, I'm looking at my phone every two minutes, counting down, hoping that I get to my class before it starts. MADE IT. With two minutes to spare. It was absolutely ridiculous. Katie was like, "Well, at least you made it in time, and he's not even here yet." Such a stressful morning.
So, I made it through class. Didn't draw quite as much today. Got my cigarettes from Faith and walked to the bus stop to take the bus home.
All that followed til the evening was an episode of my man show, Game of Thrones. Which I still don't know why I'm watching. Don't ask. It's not like I have any guy friends aside from. My husband, Ben. The perv who is in love with me, Brian. And the Spaceboy from high school, Neil. And granted, I have them, NONE of them watch this show. I can guarantee it. So I'm watching blood, sex, and cussing as I sometimes call it, for no reason other than the plot. Since when has that ever happened with me? Like never. There aren't even any attractive men in it. So now I'M intrigued as to what's keeping my attention at this point. Other than the fact that I'm waiting for the baby dragon to show up. Let's be real.
So I did that. Then I took a nap. Had the most bittersweet awesome dream that I didn't want to wake up from. I dreamt that first I was dreaming in my dream, kind of like the visions I've had. Minus the Jonas brother. And I'd been somehow transported to the past. It was so weird. Then somehow my brother after I "woke up," found a way to transport himself in "reality" to that time period and I started screaming at the sky/him as he disappeared and I was pulled through as well. We were living at home/the old house again, he and Jesse were hanging out, Miss Kitty AND Sunny were alive, Dad wasn't sick, we were on our way to play Water Polo at the Cabana Club, which apparently according to my brother I kicked ass at? Awesome. Then Drew was there and we were totally kicking it and Katie showed up. It was so weird. I also remember finding old stories that I'd written and that how the whole pulled into the past thing started because I was trying to salvage as many old notebooks and pictures and things like that as I could before I got sucked back. After talking to my brother and Drew I wound up going inside to put on my suit so we could go play Polo and was in the bathroom trying to figure out my damn bathing suit. And then I kept getting pulled in and out of consciousness by my fucking music on my phone playing Taylor Swift's Last Kiss. I was like, "Are you fucking kidding me? God, do NOT take me from this dream." Cause you know, if I didn't already hate Joe Jonas, a song written solely about him by his ex is what woke me up from the best dream ever. Story of my life.
Woke up and it was four hours later. Blah blah blah, random shit. Then my sister and I wound up in my bro's old room upstairs[where I'm currently sitting now.] her on the computer and my watching TV, trying to fix my fucking computer. We skimmed through the guide and then just settled with surfing through every single channel a few times. Found some awesome infomercials, some Criminal Minds, then I forgot that douchebag[Joe Jonas] from earlier was on the Next and thought, "Yeah, dude, we'll just watch that, oh! Nope!" Then it was even better because there was some crap on about Kevin and Dani Jonas and I flipped to it for a second and I was all watching and telling my sister about how cute they are. And she's like, "Yeah, whatever bro, I don't care." Then douchebag showed up again. And I immediately changed the channel, "Yep, done with that shit." To which my sister commented, "So did he like do something personally to you? To offend you that much?" And I responded with, "Absolutely, yeah, can't stand him." We then ended up watching Anastasia to see who remembered the most from it. I, of course, won. She said that it meant I was the more Russian. I was having none of it. Fuck no. I hate being Russian. It's not my fault. But we sang most of the songs together so that was pretty legit.
Then she went to bed. I finally got the computer. My husband had already gone to bed. So that was lame. I tumblr'd, twittered, and then jumped on Netflix to watch Supernatural. It was pretty good. Though I didn't talk to Rebecca today AT ALL. And that was probably the weirdest thing I can even describe because aside from last year for a few months. She and I haven't NOT spoken for a day in about six years. Awkward. I miss her already. I hope she got into the sorority she wanted to and that she's doing well in SoCal.
Thus sums up my day.
Tomorrow, I have to do some stuff around the house, I have a phone call from that guy about bi-polar disorder for half an hour for 75 bucks. Pretty stoked about that even though my sister offended the hell out of me tonight when she was like, "Yeah, but isn't that your diagnosis." I wanted to kill her. Seriously. No it's not you dumb bitch. It's Major Depression and Anxiety. In fact, IN my file that you so KINDLY asked about, it says Emotional Disorder. So fuck you. I don't give a shit if you went to school for psychology don't psycho analyse me. I will end your life. ANYWAY.
Then I'll probably go see my dad cause I'm finally done with this cold and won't get him sick anymore. So that's good. I miss him. It's been a while.
And that should be about it.
Peace.
xx
Lena
Sidenote: So I woke up normal time and looked at the clock on my phone and was like, "Cool, bro, it's only 8:35, I'll give myself like five more minutes. Alright." So I go back to lying down with my eyes closed and suddenly I hear my sister get up and start moving around. Which on Tuesdays and Thursdays is unheard of. She's never up before I leave the house for school, like ever. So I shoot up in bed and look at the clock on my phone again to see that it's 9:45. But my brain doesn't register this, that I've slept a whole nother extra hour. I'm like, "Shit! I've got fifteen minutes to get to the bus stop." So I scramble to get ready and groggily walk out of the house, locking the door and walking to the bus stop. I'm thinking I'm doing okay when I look at the clock and realize that it's now 10:10. How the fuck did I lose an hour? Realizing my mistake its obvious why Faith and Echo aren't waiting for the bus. So I had to call Amanda and arrange to have my cigarettes delivered to me after class by Faith, as Amanda was leaving right after her first class which was out significantly sooner than mine. As I'm on the bus, I'm looking at my phone every two minutes, counting down, hoping that I get to my class before it starts. MADE IT. With two minutes to spare. It was absolutely ridiculous. Katie was like, "Well, at least you made it in time, and he's not even here yet." Such a stressful morning.
So, I made it through class. Didn't draw quite as much today. Got my cigarettes from Faith and walked to the bus stop to take the bus home.
All that followed til the evening was an episode of my man show, Game of Thrones. Which I still don't know why I'm watching. Don't ask. It's not like I have any guy friends aside from. My husband, Ben. The perv who is in love with me, Brian. And the Spaceboy from high school, Neil. And granted, I have them, NONE of them watch this show. I can guarantee it. So I'm watching blood, sex, and cussing as I sometimes call it, for no reason other than the plot. Since when has that ever happened with me? Like never. There aren't even any attractive men in it. So now I'M intrigued as to what's keeping my attention at this point. Other than the fact that I'm waiting for the baby dragon to show up. Let's be real.
So I did that. Then I took a nap. Had the most bittersweet awesome dream that I didn't want to wake up from. I dreamt that first I was dreaming in my dream, kind of like the visions I've had. Minus the Jonas brother. And I'd been somehow transported to the past. It was so weird. Then somehow my brother after I "woke up," found a way to transport himself in "reality" to that time period and I started screaming at the sky/him as he disappeared and I was pulled through as well. We were living at home/the old house again, he and Jesse were hanging out, Miss Kitty AND Sunny were alive, Dad wasn't sick, we were on our way to play Water Polo at the Cabana Club, which apparently according to my brother I kicked ass at? Awesome. Then Drew was there and we were totally kicking it and Katie showed up. It was so weird. I also remember finding old stories that I'd written and that how the whole pulled into the past thing started because I was trying to salvage as many old notebooks and pictures and things like that as I could before I got sucked back. After talking to my brother and Drew I wound up going inside to put on my suit so we could go play Polo and was in the bathroom trying to figure out my damn bathing suit. And then I kept getting pulled in and out of consciousness by my fucking music on my phone playing Taylor Swift's Last Kiss. I was like, "Are you fucking kidding me? God, do NOT take me from this dream." Cause you know, if I didn't already hate Joe Jonas, a song written solely about him by his ex is what woke me up from the best dream ever. Story of my life.
Woke up and it was four hours later. Blah blah blah, random shit. Then my sister and I wound up in my bro's old room upstairs[where I'm currently sitting now.] her on the computer and my watching TV, trying to fix my fucking computer. We skimmed through the guide and then just settled with surfing through every single channel a few times. Found some awesome infomercials, some Criminal Minds, then I forgot that douchebag[Joe Jonas] from earlier was on the Next and thought, "Yeah, dude, we'll just watch that, oh! Nope!" Then it was even better because there was some crap on about Kevin and Dani Jonas and I flipped to it for a second and I was all watching and telling my sister about how cute they are. And she's like, "Yeah, whatever bro, I don't care." Then douchebag showed up again. And I immediately changed the channel, "Yep, done with that shit." To which my sister commented, "So did he like do something personally to you? To offend you that much?" And I responded with, "Absolutely, yeah, can't stand him." We then ended up watching Anastasia to see who remembered the most from it. I, of course, won. She said that it meant I was the more Russian. I was having none of it. Fuck no. I hate being Russian. It's not my fault. But we sang most of the songs together so that was pretty legit.
Then she went to bed. I finally got the computer. My husband had already gone to bed. So that was lame. I tumblr'd, twittered, and then jumped on Netflix to watch Supernatural. It was pretty good. Though I didn't talk to Rebecca today AT ALL. And that was probably the weirdest thing I can even describe because aside from last year for a few months. She and I haven't NOT spoken for a day in about six years. Awkward. I miss her already. I hope she got into the sorority she wanted to and that she's doing well in SoCal.
Thus sums up my day.
Tomorrow, I have to do some stuff around the house, I have a phone call from that guy about bi-polar disorder for half an hour for 75 bucks. Pretty stoked about that even though my sister offended the hell out of me tonight when she was like, "Yeah, but isn't that your diagnosis." I wanted to kill her. Seriously. No it's not you dumb bitch. It's Major Depression and Anxiety. In fact, IN my file that you so KINDLY asked about, it says Emotional Disorder. So fuck you. I don't give a shit if you went to school for psychology don't psycho analyse me. I will end your life. ANYWAY.
Then I'll probably go see my dad cause I'm finally done with this cold and won't get him sick anymore. So that's good. I miss him. It's been a while.
And that should be about it.
Peace.
xx
Lena