oh... my god
You know about my "Friend" Chiaki, chika, ruki, Aimie whatever name I've used. And you know I was pretty angry at myself for some shit which happened.
I happened to stumble accross her again. It was by pure accident, and she seems so happy and I'm glad about it; a little hurt to.
I sent her a message; asking her to forgive me. She probably wont, I just know she wont.
I went onto her Gaia and someone left a message saying "Chiu-chan I love you" and it was like "Thats... what I should be saying"
Maybe a little touch of jealousy; but she obviously doesn't need me anymore, if she's close to other people.
You know; I haven't got someone close I can say that to anymore.
Ashlee, Dana, and the other people I class as my best friends; I know half the time the feelings aren't returned and to be honest, none of them knew me as well as her.
I'm just so upset.
STUPID MYSPACE SHIT
The first one was good; because I got surprised by the person I love
The second; was "If you repost this, an old friend will return" I had her in mind when I did it; but I didn't expect it to work it did. I just dont think she's going to forgive me.
She probably doesn't even care that I've sort of got my life sorted; well am getting it sorted. She most probably hates me; I haven't heard anything back from her.
Should I e-mail her if I don't get a message back or...? She always used to be online 24/7; I'm just afraid she's going to dissapear even when I have her hand and am ready to pull her close.
I guess it doesn't matter if she doesn't forgive me... we'd probably never be as close as what we w- WHO THE FUCK AM I KIDING?! I love that kid for shit, she meant and still means, so much to me.
I don't know what to do maybe I'll just curl up on my bed with my panda bear and sleep... I don't feel like eating if anything I feel like I need some liquor; heck that isn't happening. I'm determind it isn't going to happen.
I happened to stumble accross her again. It was by pure accident, and she seems so happy and I'm glad about it; a little hurt to.
I sent her a message; asking her to forgive me. She probably wont, I just know she wont.
I went onto her Gaia and someone left a message saying "Chiu-chan I love you" and it was like "Thats... what I should be saying"
Maybe a little touch of jealousy; but she obviously doesn't need me anymore, if she's close to other people.
You know; I haven't got someone close I can say that to anymore.
Ashlee, Dana, and the other people I class as my best friends; I know half the time the feelings aren't returned and to be honest, none of them knew me as well as her.
I'm just so upset.
STUPID MYSPACE SHIT
The first one was good; because I got surprised by the person I love
The second; was "If you repost this, an old friend will return" I had her in mind when I did it; but I didn't expect it to work it did. I just dont think she's going to forgive me.
She probably doesn't even care that I've sort of got my life sorted; well am getting it sorted. She most probably hates me; I haven't heard anything back from her.
Should I e-mail her if I don't get a message back or...? She always used to be online 24/7; I'm just afraid she's going to dissapear even when I have her hand and am ready to pull her close.
I guess it doesn't matter if she doesn't forgive me... we'd probably never be as close as what we w- WHO THE FUCK AM I KIDING?! I love that kid for shit, she meant and still means, so much to me.
I don't know what to do maybe I'll just curl up on my bed with my panda bear and sleep... I don't feel like eating if anything I feel like I need some liquor; heck that isn't happening. I'm determind it isn't going to happen.