...Tuesday...Oh boy...
I got to go to B-doubls tonight, that was fun as hell, i love going there, its going to suck when someone isnt there to go anymore... i had a good day with a nice nap down at the house at 8 am, because chem lab was worthless this morning...bio lab and chem lab i could have lived without but its all good...the library was hotter then hell...i could only find a few books, and i cant use internet for a source on the paper. so im thinking im kindda screwed...maybe ill just make part of it up...
What am i suppose to do? i had a really good day for it being a Tuesday, until i made a disision i thought was ok...but when Erik didn't say anything, like i know he wanted...i shouldnt have gave it back to him...now i have to deal with the fall out of Scott being a complete jack ass about things...worst of all is what Scott said to piss me off so bad...which only Scott and i know...Scott threatened erik...although Erik doesnt know this...i just know it would make his hate toward scott worse...i just shouoldnt have answered the phone in the first place...big mistake...which means it all windes down to my fault...oh well
I wish someone would make up their mind some day...im battling over the conversation we had when he told me that he really didnt me around all the time like i was...so i have distanced my slef from him...but then he tells me the other morning that he didnt want me to leave, and then says that its ok if i stay the night at the house tonight...i dont know what to do...i have to options...
1) let things go as they are, spending time with him and being with him, and just dealing with him being gone next semester...i think out of either this will be the hardest knowing that when i come back from chirstmas break he wont be there...so ill be alone...noll and void if you will
2) tell him it cant continue the way its going and attempt to distnace my self from him, while being in his presents, because im not giving up the comfort of the house on his behalf...and i believe that from 1 it will sooner be easier to distance my self from him when he is 2 hours away...
Its hard to say what i should do...i dont know....very confused about it all...oh well...ill live on like i always do...no regret...its better to have done then not have done!