...Nice...
Wednesday night....how sweet it was...Although I'm not entirly sure I like everything I heard...I have found my self playing the waiting game again...I am letting alot ride on this weekend...I will be painless most of the weekend...I've been on a rage all day today trying to get all my work done...which is getting along most successfully...now I don't have to worry about doing anything on Sunday but sleep...It's hard to think is all last night was invain or not...I wonder if I did it, because in truth that is really what I wanted or was it just because i was asked?...so many questions are add to my cloud of thoughts...Travis confuses me...that is a story unto its self, but I would like to know how my name was brought up in a conversion that had to do with them?...Todd....yes he still likes me...he asked me the other night what i was going to get him for his birthday...he said he wants a chance with me...i cant do that...not right now, not ever...i couldnt put my self there...it just wouldnt make since...My Jessi...i hope you are happy soon...i hate to see you in pain...Jake...what can i say, you are fun to hang out with...but you get annoying...you touch to much...and you shouldn't be so push about seeing me...
I know that it is wrong to say, but i dont wanna go home...i dont wanna go for thanksgiving...i would rather stay here...but everyone else is going home...maybe ill work the whole time...get some much needed money...i can see my slef now spending loads of time on the couch with my laptop in my lap...i have to sleep on the couch now...i have no bed to look forward to...the only thing i look forward to are the horses...my silent babies, who never talk against me, but only listen to every word i say...my puppy dogs too...i miss them soo...
Hope and happiness linger here
in a state of dispear
wondering where to go
nothing seems to help
i forget what i want
when all goes black
i go along and stay with you
i know you will keep me safe
but my will is weakened by you
when you hold me safe
when you just look at me
or touch my face...