A day in the life
So today has been horrible. Well maybe that’s over exaggerating, but it’s been a tough day. I had to work all of yesterday and then come home and go straight to sleep, and then I got up at like 1 am to take Shawn to the airport. He’s gone. It’s only for three days, but… I can’t stand it. I cried all the way from the airport back to Everett. Then I came inside, laid down and cried some more. I slept, got up, took a bath and cried in there. Made some egos, ate those, cried. Called my mom, watched Little Miss Sunshine, cried. Went to see my mom, cried. Drove home alone. Got inside my empty house and cried. Now I’m writing this, then I’m gonna take a shower alone, probably cry over that, and go to bed and cry myself to sleep. Now I thought it was bad when we were working opposites (which we go right back to when he comes back from Boston), but at least then I got a kiss everyday and got to get in bed with him and fall asleep next to him. And I got to hear his voice, and touch him. This is going to be the first night I’ve slept alone in a year.
As if it’s not hard enough Wednesday is his birthday and he won’t be here. Now I know this should be harder on him then it is on me, but no one has given his a decent birthday in years and I wanted to make it really special. And now, well I know we get to spend the day after together, but still, it’s not the same. I already gave him his big present anyhow. I got him an awesome silver ring; it’s supposed to be a wedding ring, but ohh well. My mom got him an awesome touch screen universal remote thing he wanted, and I got him a few little things, I wanna get him something else though, I don’t know what. I cleaned the whole house for when he comes back, and I wanted to get a new couch and an entertainment center and make our living room awesome before he comes back, but I don’t know if it’s gonna happen.
I really don’t want to go to work tomorrow, but I really really don’t want to stay home cause I know it would be way hard to be home alone all day, I know I cant do that again. I should be getting to bed soon, but I just don’t want to go through it, I know it’s gonna be hard, it’s going to take me forever to fall asleep, but it’s gotta happen sooner or later, I just wish it didn’t. I just keep thinking of what he said to me; “I’ll be back real soon ok? I promise. It’s only two sleeps ok?!” it makes me smile but want to cry at the same time.
I’m done writing. It’s just a pity part anyhow. Night.