late night daydream
it's thick, heavy, dirty metal. shackles between my legs and hands, with a big fucking bowling ball-sized chunk dangling behind me attached to a wide collar around my neck. im starving and there's a delicious piece of exotic fruit hanging just out of reach, like a carrot in front of a horse. i get a slight taste every now and then but haven't broken the skin in years. i can see where i bit in to it and vividly remember how thoroughly satisfying it was. and i want it. the whole thing.
but god damn it all if i finally get it to my lips, just before my teeth sink in, and the son of a bitch isn't rotten. did it go bad because the skin was broken around the old bites? now that i look at it it's obvious i'm not the only one that's been trying to eat the damn thing and i can't even tell where i bit it in the first place. sigh. i bend down, turn the key in the shackles and take off the horrible apparatus with the choking weight and the stupid fruit dangling hat. walk across the hall, open the door to the buffet room and sit in a vinyl booth, stretching out as i look around at all there is to eat and enjoy.
im not sure if anything in here will be as fully satisfying as that weird fruit originally was, but im happy to be out of those fucking chains and able to sit down to a nutritionally balanced meal if i feel like it.
it feels really good to know whatever changes im making are primarily for myself, without being selfish. better me=better son, brother, friend, etc. and that's the goal, right?
but god damn it all if i finally get it to my lips, just before my teeth sink in, and the son of a bitch isn't rotten. did it go bad because the skin was broken around the old bites? now that i look at it it's obvious i'm not the only one that's been trying to eat the damn thing and i can't even tell where i bit it in the first place. sigh. i bend down, turn the key in the shackles and take off the horrible apparatus with the choking weight and the stupid fruit dangling hat. walk across the hall, open the door to the buffet room and sit in a vinyl booth, stretching out as i look around at all there is to eat and enjoy.
im not sure if anything in here will be as fully satisfying as that weird fruit originally was, but im happy to be out of those fucking chains and able to sit down to a nutritionally balanced meal if i feel like it.
it feels really good to know whatever changes im making are primarily for myself, without being selfish. better me=better son, brother, friend, etc. and that's the goal, right?