let your clarity define you
so this whole thing where i pretend that i feel like i know what im doing and i feel like im genuinely happy isn't really working. i thought if i convinced myself that i was completely happy with things then i would just end up feeling the way i thought but then i realized that it doesn't really work that way. this summer i think i need to go away and think a lot of things over. i feel like im on the right track but i feel like there are things that in my life that need to be reevaluated and things that need to be given more thought. disappearing this summer for awhile sounds like a great idea. i could come back (when im ready) feeling refreshed which is always a good feeling. this is something i know my parents would let me do too. i just feel like i need to isolate myself away from everyone and everything here for awhile so i can just think. there's too much going on right now for me to think clearly and i don't think going home would be much of an improvement. it could be just what i need. on the other hand, this could just be a temporary feeling and i won't need to resort to something like this. we'll see but im seriously considering it.