the downward spiral
So, last night, we took the dog in...Sasha...or as I like to call her, the piece of shit dog. I love animals, I always have...but I fucking HATE this dog.
Now, after tonight, I hate her even more. She almost attacked my cat last night. If Chad didn't have her by the collar, she would've. She was growling and digging her nails into the carpet to try and get at my cat. As she was doing that, I put my hand up in front of her snout. My cat ran upstairs. I pulled my hand back, made a fist and seriously almost punched her in the nose. After I uncurled my fingers, I said to the dog,"I'll fucking KILL YOU!" And Chad said,"You're not gonna do anything to this dog." So anyways, after that, my cat, for obvious reasons, ran upstairs to my bedroom. I followed right behind him and punch the shit out of my wall. DAMN did I want to punch that dog. As soon as I got my keys and my purse, I headed out the door to get the fuck out of that hell hole (only because of the piece of shit dog). I went to my parent's house and then my older sister called and could tell something was wrong. So she invited me over even though it was midnight and she had to work at 8 in the morning. We talked, I complained. I drank a beer and left around 3:30 in the morning. I had kept her up long enough.
When I got back home, I felt terrible for October. He wanted to go out of the room so bad. Because normally, at night, that's what he does. Shawn and I say he's "exploring". But last night I wasn't going to let him out of the room because the dog was there. And if that dog really attacked my cat, I believe that warrants a kick to the ribs until she doesn't get back up. Yes, I really, truly hate this dog.
So, I had my mom pick up my cat and bring him back to their house. He's a little freaked out. Traveling twice in a month is enough to get to any cat....well, maybe. My cat is just a pussy (no pun intended) though so it's not easy.
I've been at my sister's house since 3 this afternoon. Doing laundry and cleaning her house because I have nothing else to do but wait for my damn laundry. I have one load in the washer and one in the dryer, after that I'm completely done. While I'm waiting, I'm sitting here drinking a beer. And no, I don't normally drink beer. Actually, I never drink beer. Except for last night and today. She bought a six pack today...and said she only wanted one. I wish I had the stomach to drink the other 5 but I think I'll only manage to get down two. Three if I'm lucky. But I still have to drive home...and I"m underage...so yeah, heh. That's the LAST thing I need. A freakin' DUI.
Right now my sister is getting her hair done. So who knows when she'll be back. I'm just sitting here. Waiting. Making myself one with this beer in front of me. I should start drinking more often. I mean shit, I haven't smoked weed in 8 months and I'm not about to start again. So why not drink? Exactly. Why not.
Mmm...cigarette. I did quit smokin' cigarettes a couple of weeks ago. But it's hard when you live with three other people who smoke. Yes, I know. I have no willpower whatsoever.
Shit, on a side note. I fuckin' HATE how it's "trendy" to have an eating disorder/be skinny. A year ago, I had lost 11 pounds. And I'm FAR from overweight. In fact, I'm underweight for my size. Since I'd lost the 11 pounds, I've gained about 4 or 5 pounds back. So now I'm 100 pounds. My goal is to reach 115 or so. And there's girls out there that're STARVING themselves because it's "in". If they really had something wrong with them, I wouldn't hold it against them. Because when I was younger, I had somewhat of an eating disorder. Although, I don't like to call it that. I just didn't eat because it was the only thing that I had any control over at that point in my life. I couldn't control cutting, I couldn't control what was going on in my head, I couldn't control people at school or my family. But I could control when I ate. I think I was also just trying to hurt myself in a way that was less noticable than cutting.
Well, I'm outta here. Gonna go finish up laundry and dishes...and this beer. Then maybe relax for a little bit and watch some Law and Order SVU. See ya.
-Natalie
Now, after tonight, I hate her even more. She almost attacked my cat last night. If Chad didn't have her by the collar, she would've. She was growling and digging her nails into the carpet to try and get at my cat. As she was doing that, I put my hand up in front of her snout. My cat ran upstairs. I pulled my hand back, made a fist and seriously almost punched her in the nose. After I uncurled my fingers, I said to the dog,"I'll fucking KILL YOU!" And Chad said,"You're not gonna do anything to this dog." So anyways, after that, my cat, for obvious reasons, ran upstairs to my bedroom. I followed right behind him and punch the shit out of my wall. DAMN did I want to punch that dog. As soon as I got my keys and my purse, I headed out the door to get the fuck out of that hell hole (only because of the piece of shit dog). I went to my parent's house and then my older sister called and could tell something was wrong. So she invited me over even though it was midnight and she had to work at 8 in the morning. We talked, I complained. I drank a beer and left around 3:30 in the morning. I had kept her up long enough.
When I got back home, I felt terrible for October. He wanted to go out of the room so bad. Because normally, at night, that's what he does. Shawn and I say he's "exploring". But last night I wasn't going to let him out of the room because the dog was there. And if that dog really attacked my cat, I believe that warrants a kick to the ribs until she doesn't get back up. Yes, I really, truly hate this dog.
So, I had my mom pick up my cat and bring him back to their house. He's a little freaked out. Traveling twice in a month is enough to get to any cat....well, maybe. My cat is just a pussy (no pun intended) though so it's not easy.
I've been at my sister's house since 3 this afternoon. Doing laundry and cleaning her house because I have nothing else to do but wait for my damn laundry. I have one load in the washer and one in the dryer, after that I'm completely done. While I'm waiting, I'm sitting here drinking a beer. And no, I don't normally drink beer. Actually, I never drink beer. Except for last night and today. She bought a six pack today...and said she only wanted one. I wish I had the stomach to drink the other 5 but I think I'll only manage to get down two. Three if I'm lucky. But I still have to drive home...and I"m underage...so yeah, heh. That's the LAST thing I need. A freakin' DUI.
Right now my sister is getting her hair done. So who knows when she'll be back. I'm just sitting here. Waiting. Making myself one with this beer in front of me. I should start drinking more often. I mean shit, I haven't smoked weed in 8 months and I'm not about to start again. So why not drink? Exactly. Why not.
Mmm...cigarette. I did quit smokin' cigarettes a couple of weeks ago. But it's hard when you live with three other people who smoke. Yes, I know. I have no willpower whatsoever.
Shit, on a side note. I fuckin' HATE how it's "trendy" to have an eating disorder/be skinny. A year ago, I had lost 11 pounds. And I'm FAR from overweight. In fact, I'm underweight for my size. Since I'd lost the 11 pounds, I've gained about 4 or 5 pounds back. So now I'm 100 pounds. My goal is to reach 115 or so. And there's girls out there that're STARVING themselves because it's "in". If they really had something wrong with them, I wouldn't hold it against them. Because when I was younger, I had somewhat of an eating disorder. Although, I don't like to call it that. I just didn't eat because it was the only thing that I had any control over at that point in my life. I couldn't control cutting, I couldn't control what was going on in my head, I couldn't control people at school or my family. But I could control when I ate. I think I was also just trying to hurt myself in a way that was less noticable than cutting.
Well, I'm outta here. Gonna go finish up laundry and dishes...and this beer. Then maybe relax for a little bit and watch some Law and Order SVU. See ya.
-Natalie