108; It's Not You, It's Me- But I Think This Is For The Best, Yes?

[xx_adamo_mangie]

Being out of highschool has probably done the worst thing to my friend half circle.
I call it a half circle because its like weak line that likes to curve and pretend to be a circle sometimes.

I've never been one to keep friends for long- it's just difficult for me to keep trying to remind myself that they care when it's painfully clear that they

Comments

I'd send you a private message- but you deleted me, too.

[xx_adamo_mangie]

You never respond to anything, Diana. This has basically been happening before highschool even ended- it was just easier because I saw you everyday.
You never reply to e-mails, FB, I don't even have your email address, and comments I've recently left on your livejournal have gone unanswered. For the last year- it gets a little tiring to try and then to have no results. Even while we were in school- what have we ever REALLY done together? Aside from two trips to Toronto (which were great, btw and I'll miss those for sure).
I can't be expected to make all the effort because that's just as hurtful. It says that you can't be bothered.
I got to read all about your fun activities with other people and this made me jealous, and this made me really really depressed.

Please don't say you've been spending all this time alone- because you've been out and about and planning exciting things with other people and HONESTLY. I'm not mad. I'm just- stating the obvious.
Our friendship only worked when we were in highschool.

If this mattered that much to you- you easily could have done the same thing- call, text, whatever.
But instead you chose to delete me off of your LJ, too.
I'd like to point that out.

Re: I'd send you a private message- but you deleted me, too.

[metrocard]

Angie. Grow up. What other fun activities? Do you know how many times I've seen Evin? Zero. I've seen Jacqui and Tiffany, that's it. They are my best friends and don't throw a fit if I don't hang out with them. I tend to keep to myself, most summers I spend alone. The fact that you go as far as to say that all this means I don't care about you is bullshit.

I'm so mad I'm shaking right now. I deleted you because you were being petty, which you are, try and defend it, but you are.

This isn't high school, as you keep stating, so quit acting like it. The door swings both ways, get off your high horse. Sorry I didn't call, but it's my nature, just like yours is.

And just so you know, one LJ comment in forever doesn't count for shit. I've been busy as FUCK this week, and haven't responded to half of my online shit.

Re: I'd send you a private message- but you deleted me, too.

[xx_adamo_mangie]

I know I'm being petty, and I'm sorry.
And sorry I'm behaving like I'm 13.
I'm sorry I've made those assumptions- you know how I am.
I'm sorry that I never called you and I posted this instead.
I'm sorry.
But it doesn't change the fact that I've been feeling like this with you since before the summer started.
I hate fighting, but unless you want to salvage something and try to stay friends, then let's just stop.
I'll delete this post.
And we can both carry on.
Whatever, y'know?

Re: I'd send you a private message- but you deleted me, too.

[metrocard]

Yeah well, should have told me how you felt instead of writing in a fucking LJ entry.

I don't have the time for this. This is what you wanted, wasn't it? Me out of your life.

Re: I'd send you a private message- but you deleted me, too.

[xx_adamo_mangie]

Okay Diana, take a deep breath.
Stop shaking.
Calm down.
It's obviously not what I wanted, and you saying that is rather hurtful.
But I figured it's what I need.
I absolutely admire and adore you- which is why this hurt me. Out of all the people- you're the last that I wanted this to happen with.
But we just don't...connect. we don't talk. we don't even humour plans or keep each other up to date on anything.
So whats the point?
I appreciate all the point-blank advice you've given me.
But friendships require a little more than that.

Re: I'd send you a private message- but you deleted me, too.

[metrocard]

Excuse me if I find all of that hard to believe given this entire post. You're just so...you act like this is entirely MY FAULT. You are just as much at fault as me. You say I don't respond on FB, when have you ever contacted me there? No one does, I barely use the thing. You say I don't respond to your e-mails, then proceed to say you don't even have mine. Are you serious? (And it's the same fucking e-mail I've had since you've met me)

I read all of your entries, I kept up to date, I just don't comment cause I don't know what to say. You don't comment either, but i would never out of the blue just delete you and make some childish post about how you ~don't care~ without even talking to you about it.

So sorry you feel that way, as it was never my intention to do so. But quite frankly, if you didn't want this, why bother with the post at all?

I have to work. I seriously DO NOT have the time to argue with you online for something you think is already gone.

Re: I'd send you a private message- but you deleted me, too.

[xx_adamo_mangie]

You're RIGHT DIANA.
ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
No sarcasm intended- it's more my fault than it is yours.
I'm actually embarrassed that this has all happened, but it's happened none the less.
And I'm sorry!
And I'm pretty sure I've asked you if you want to try to stay friends and yet you kept on.
And my apologies are meant to extract something a little more kind from you- which isn't happening. SO yeah.
Whatever.