(no subject)
I don't know who reads this anymore. After careful internal debating over the last 200 or so seconds I've decided this is MY outlet. It has been over a year and a half now. I'm not going to run back to breeze or turn to one of my other live or dead journals; that would take too much effort to notify only those who I want to, plus, I know there are tons of people who anonymously read this who aren't harming me by being here that I'd hate to cut off by moving.
So here's the thing. If you know me in real life and read this and aren't on my friends list, you've gotta understand this is my place to vent. I write about my reactions to life here. They aren't always thoughts I carry with me 24-7; I have spontaneous reactions to random things. A conversation with Tyler will stir up frustration or heartache, but it doesn't mean that I want him back. I'll talk to Jon about college and want to murder the boy, but it doesn't mean I love him any less. And I'll decide I'm a failure at life after studying for 7 hours, but it doesn't mean that I seriously beleive that I'm worthless. I'm quite aware of the reprecussion of every decision, action and emotion of mine....I just happen to have the need to explore my thoughts and often late at night I have emotional outburts that come through in verbage on livejournal...on here.
So here's to the comment made at lunch regarding rumors stemming from SOMEONE reading my livejournal. IF YOU FUCKING READ SOMETHING ON HERE, ASK ME ABOUT IT. DON'T GO TALKING TO PERSON A WHO'LL TALK TO B WHO'LL TALK TO C AND SO ON TILL IT GETS TO ME THROUGH PERSON Z. I'm MORE THAN WILLING to talk about my life if you care - just because I DON'T USUALLY TALK ABOUT MY LIFE doesn't mean I won't. I write vague details on here for a reason, but if you happen to piece it together and are concerned, then TALK to me. And, hey, even better - tell me you're reading this so I can keep tabs on who's here and who's not.
...and for the record, I'm not "heartbroken over some boy I dated for two weeks." I'm somewhat confused over my emotions regarding someone I was involved with for three months. Thank you.
So here's the thing. If you know me in real life and read this and aren't on my friends list, you've gotta understand this is my place to vent. I write about my reactions to life here. They aren't always thoughts I carry with me 24-7; I have spontaneous reactions to random things. A conversation with Tyler will stir up frustration or heartache, but it doesn't mean that I want him back. I'll talk to Jon about college and want to murder the boy, but it doesn't mean I love him any less. And I'll decide I'm a failure at life after studying for 7 hours, but it doesn't mean that I seriously beleive that I'm worthless. I'm quite aware of the reprecussion of every decision, action and emotion of mine....I just happen to have the need to explore my thoughts and often late at night I have emotional outburts that come through in verbage on livejournal...on here.
So here's to the comment made at lunch regarding rumors stemming from SOMEONE reading my livejournal. IF YOU FUCKING READ SOMETHING ON HERE, ASK ME ABOUT IT. DON'T GO TALKING TO PERSON A WHO'LL TALK TO B WHO'LL TALK TO C AND SO ON TILL IT GETS TO ME THROUGH PERSON Z. I'm MORE THAN WILLING to talk about my life if you care - just because I DON'T USUALLY TALK ABOUT MY LIFE doesn't mean I won't. I write vague details on here for a reason, but if you happen to piece it together and are concerned, then TALK to me. And, hey, even better - tell me you're reading this so I can keep tabs on who's here and who's not.
...and for the record, I'm not "heartbroken over some boy I dated for two weeks." I'm somewhat confused over my emotions regarding someone I was involved with for three months. Thank you.