Break my body
so hey what's up?
I found out i have a clynical disease: BDD ( Body disfunctional disorder.) which I guess means I am always gonna rthink I'm ugly no matter what, it is a form of Anxiety too, which explains my anxiety attacks...Rebecca did the research and found it out for me. it isnt that much of a suprise to me. I mean I've always been ugly...it hurts alot, to always be with way...but whatever, I blaim the media, for pushing their idealistic beauty on all of us. making us yearn to be more beautyful, thin, muscular, and have big ol tits. but whatever, fuck them, and fuck you ( implied to everyone who thinks i'm ugly.)
I really dont need it
anyway I',m acually doing okay, I went up to Ali's and had a pretty rockin good time. we went to this party, which was really fun ( should ha ve grabbed those beers though.) it was great seing her again, fun to hang with her.
after I got dropped off at the Mall of NH from her parents, I wondered around abit....it was kinda fun acually. I got so many looks, I look pretty good that day though, I think even some where checking me out, which is impressive considering I looked like shit because of my reacrtions to the god damn nature, but it will go away soon. anyway I looked in some clothes stores, and found alot of crap, and some good stuff too, but I was horrified to find that Grunge was coming back, I mean you would think I would be happy. but to be honest, the last thing i want is a bunch of people pretending to be something that once was individuality and freedom...which if you ask me, it is whatg i stand for. but hey whatever, it isnt gonna change me...
LEave A ComMenT
thanks