Grrr............
I don’t know why, I’m in that mood again. I’m bummed out. Sometimes I just get like this. I haven’t really done anything in weeks, maybe months. I can never do anything with the job I have. I like it sometimes, but now that I’m on midnights I see no one. By the time I get home, my boyfriend is sleeping and my sister is at work already. The job isn’t so bad, but I can only get so much done and the co’s and store manager expect miracles. The funny thing is that if they want to fire me they can. They act like there’s nowhere else but Wal-Mart. I’m 22 years old with managerial experience. I may not find a job that pays as much, but I won’t be too far off. No one that works there like their job, not because they have to work, it’s because no one hardly tells them they’re doing good, just bad. I know that seems like they’re being babied, but the more you let a person know they are doing well they more they will perform. It’s when they do well constantly and get no recognition for it is when they start failing. Not in literal meaning, but when kids are at school they need positive reinforcement otherwise they become drunken dope addicts who get knocked up at 14. I’m not saying you can’t say they’re doing badly, but don’t be a dick about it. I just don’t think I like be a manager. Who am I to tell someone what to do? I’m not that high and mighty. I feel like Kevin Spacey in ‘American Beauty’ when he quits his high paying job for the simplicity of McDonalds. Well, it’s like what Tyler Durden said in ‘Fight Club” - “We work jobs we hate, so we can buy shit we don’t need”. Maybe I’m insane, but sometimes I think “What if the world as we know it was to end tomorrow”. Not saying people dying, but back to simplicity. Hunting, farming, no TV, no stupid shit to distract us from living. I’m guilty of this too, damn computers, but with no power it can easily be forgotten. There would be jobs that meant something, jobs that made a difference. How much of a difference am I making at a discount store that sells cheap Chinese merchandise that you don’t even need that 350 pound, white trash with no teeth and 20 kids on welfare people fight over getting the money they paid or didn’t pay back to buy some meth or crack? Usually I pawn off my thoughts just on pure rants, but I’m serious - How much are we all really doing?
I’m also in a pissed off mood because August 25th is the one year anniversary of my grandmother’s death by derelict doctors that can’t wipe their own ass. Yeah, I am pretty pissed. Understandable, people die everyday of cancer, aids, strokes whatever, but my grandma got a raw deal. “Oh well, Mrs. Piechocinski you have colon cancer we have to do emergency surgery, but we’re going to do it wrong so you become septic over and over. Then we’ll say, ‘Your cancer is 98 percent curable, but you can’t handle the chemo.’ But,wait………We can’t find cancer in your system now. Oh, oh, hold on a minute, your cancer has spread so you only have 5 days to live, but you’re only going to make it to 3.” That sums up my anger at the doctors. It just irritates me; I have hardly any family left. Just me, my mom, and whenever my dad feels like it. No grandparents. For some reason I’ve been looking up family history. Mainly about my grandpa on my mom’s side. I didn’t really get to know him that much; he died of another dumbass doctor, when I was like 1 so I don’t remember. This is another great doctor story. My grandpa has throat cancer and he went in for a simple procedure for it and the doctor ended up hitting an artery and my grandpa bled to death on the table…….Fucking doctors….Please note, if anything happens to me at work, home, whatever, I’d sooner die by fate that by a doctor that knows someone who gave them their job. But anyway, know since I have a scanner, I’ve decided to scan a bunch of my grandma and grandpa’s old pictures from the 1930’s and up. There are some neat ones of my grandpa’s ships in WW2. He was a navy second class sailor on the USS Howorth (that’s the main one he was on). My grandpa was mainly in the Japanese battle. He was at Okinawa and Iwo Jima. So far that’s all I know. I came in contact with another veteran that served with him through Ancestry.com and I hope to find out a lot more. I like old war stories and such. I wish I could find out more what my dad went through in Vietnam. He really doesn’t want to talk about it. Is it just something he regrets or does he not want to tell me because he thinks my opinion will change of him? It really won’t. I know the war was a political piece of shit like the one in Iraq is now, but when it comes to your own personal survival or the survival of your friends, you have to do what you have to do. All I know is that he served near the end of Vietnam. He enlisted in the Marines as punishment for stealing the mayor’s car. Either Jail or Vietnam. He picked Vietnam. He helped on helicopters pulling in wounded. He said once to my sister that he ripped a man’s throat out and that when he and his platoon were going through the jungle (don’t know when) a tiger attack them and killed one of his good friends. Whether or not it’s a bullshit story, I don’t know, but this is all I know. I have some old military photos of him. Not really good, just his enrollment pic. Shit, I’m writing too much today. Well, I’ve got to go to work tomorrow and I really don’t want to *sigh*
I’m also in a pissed off mood because August 25th is the one year anniversary of my grandmother’s death by derelict doctors that can’t wipe their own ass. Yeah, I am pretty pissed. Understandable, people die everyday of cancer, aids, strokes whatever, but my grandma got a raw deal. “Oh well, Mrs. Piechocinski you have colon cancer we have to do emergency surgery, but we’re going to do it wrong so you become septic over and over. Then we’ll say, ‘Your cancer is 98 percent curable, but you can’t handle the chemo.’ But,wait………We can’t find cancer in your system now. Oh, oh, hold on a minute, your cancer has spread so you only have 5 days to live, but you’re only going to make it to 3.” That sums up my anger at the doctors. It just irritates me; I have hardly any family left. Just me, my mom, and whenever my dad feels like it. No grandparents. For some reason I’ve been looking up family history. Mainly about my grandpa on my mom’s side. I didn’t really get to know him that much; he died of another dumbass doctor, when I was like 1 so I don’t remember. This is another great doctor story. My grandpa has throat cancer and he went in for a simple procedure for it and the doctor ended up hitting an artery and my grandpa bled to death on the table…….Fucking doctors….Please note, if anything happens to me at work, home, whatever, I’d sooner die by fate that by a doctor that knows someone who gave them their job. But anyway, know since I have a scanner, I’ve decided to scan a bunch of my grandma and grandpa’s old pictures from the 1930’s and up. There are some neat ones of my grandpa’s ships in WW2. He was a navy second class sailor on the USS Howorth (that’s the main one he was on). My grandpa was mainly in the Japanese battle. He was at Okinawa and Iwo Jima. So far that’s all I know. I came in contact with another veteran that served with him through Ancestry.com and I hope to find out a lot more. I like old war stories and such. I wish I could find out more what my dad went through in Vietnam. He really doesn’t want to talk about it. Is it just something he regrets or does he not want to tell me because he thinks my opinion will change of him? It really won’t. I know the war was a political piece of shit like the one in Iraq is now, but when it comes to your own personal survival or the survival of your friends, you have to do what you have to do. All I know is that he served near the end of Vietnam. He enlisted in the Marines as punishment for stealing the mayor’s car. Either Jail or Vietnam. He picked Vietnam. He helped on helicopters pulling in wounded. He said once to my sister that he ripped a man’s throat out and that when he and his platoon were going through the jungle (don’t know when) a tiger attack them and killed one of his good friends. Whether or not it’s a bullshit story, I don’t know, but this is all I know. I have some old military photos of him. Not really good, just his enrollment pic. Shit, I’m writing too much today. Well, I’ve got to go to work tomorrow and I really don’t want to *sigh*