(no subject)
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfucking lame.
We've had the past two days off, which has been nice. I've just been able to hang out. Yesterday, Allie, Kaylee, Kimia, and I went to Joe's house for a little bit. Then we went to Wendy's with Joe and a bunch of his friends. Then Joe's friends ditched him to go play lazer tag haha, so Kaylee had to take Joe home. Allie and Kimia and I went up to Scott's, he lives pretty far away and I drove Kimia's truck, which has no power steering. Kinda scary for the first 5 minutes, gotta admit. So we watched like 20 minutes of The Big Lebowski & then we had to get to my house to make curfew. We were actually kind of late, but my mom was cool.
My dad stayed up last night until like 12, and I thought he was going to ruin our plan of leaving again. But thankfully he went to bed 5 minutes before Andy called me and told me him and Noel and Fog were waiting for us at the end of my street. So, out we go. Kinda sketchy but worth it, I was dying to see Andy. Soo...we drop Fog off and go to Andy's house, where Kimia and Allie fall asleep on Andy's bed while Noel watches Conga. Andy and I just talk, and he was extremely sweet. Thank god for that kid, he makes me crazy :]. After awhile Noel took us home, he had to be up for school this morning.
Today, after Kimia and Allie left I just hung out and made THREE casseroles for my mom to take to this dinner. I hope they turned out okay. Anyway, my parents left to go to their dinner at 5:15. It is now 8:46 and they are still not back. I can't go/get anywhere until they get home. They ruined my plan of seeing Andy tonight, b/c they won't answer their phones and they are taking FOREVER to get home. So I doubt I'll see Andy tonight. And if I do, it will probably mean me sneaking out earlier than I'd want to (which is sketch) and then hanging out with him and Noel. I don't mind that, but I always feel bad for Noel.
But today Andy was @ work and it was dead so he called me and he started telling me that he wasn't very happy right then because his dad was being an immature bastard about things..."things" meaning college. His dad is NOT cool about things like that. He really wants Andy to go to NM Tech, I'm pretty sure. Andy doesn't want to. His parents want him to move out, maintain good grades in college, and have a job that pays enough to support him. I don't know about that? I thought it was pretty decided that he was going to UNM, but I guess not. Here's our conversation...
Me: Are you going to live with your parents next year?
Him: Nah, I hope not.
Me: Well what are you going to do?
Him: I have to decide tomorrow
Me: Decide where you're gonna live?
Him: Decide where I'm going to school..UNM, NMSU, NM Tech.
Me: Oh...
Him: I don't want to live with my parents.
Me: Which means...that you're going to leave Albuquerque.
Him: I really don't want to. I want to go to UNM and live in the dorms.
Me: Yeah...so why do you have to decide tomorrow?
Him: Cause I have tomorrow off.
Me: So you can think about it a lot?
Him: Yeah, and talk to my mom about it.
Me: What do you want to do?
Him: I want to go to UNM and live in the dorms! But they expect me to do all this shit at the same time, and I think I'd flunk out.
Me: Yeah...
Him: Going to UNM is gonna suck
Me: Then go to State or Tech
Him: I don't want to leave Albuquerque...I can't leave you Tayler. I'd miss you too much.
Me: I don't know what I would do if you left Andy.
Him: I think I'd cry
Me: Haha, I think I'd cry too...but if you want to go Andy, just go. Seriously.
Him: Well I just don't want to leave ABQ, I'd be in the middle of nowhere if I did
Me: Yeah..that's true. What'd your brother do? Has he ever not lived with your parents?
Him: No, he never moved out. I think he takes a couple classes, and then he has that fucking job. That's why I don't understand why my parents bitch at me so much, cause my brother doesn't do fucking anything.
Me: Maybe they don't want you to be like him.
Him: No, that shit pisses me off. It's fucking assumed that I'm like him and I'm not at all, that pisses me off so much. I'm not my fucking brother, I'm not gonna be him.
Me: Okay, I'm sorry.
Him: No, I'm sorry, that just makes me mad...I'm sorry baby..
Okay, so I don't think it went exactly in that order, but bascially all that was said in our conversation. I honestly thought he had decided that he is going to UNM for sure, but I guess not. And that scares me...I bet he'll end up going to UNM, but just the chance that he won't is terrible.
I definitely have no control over what happens with that, and I want him to do what he truly WANTS to, with no thoughts of me involved. Because I know we won't be together as long as he thinks, as long as he says we will. And I would hate it if he made a decision like that just because I'm only a sophomore in high school and I'm staying exactly where I am.
So we'll see how that goes.
Finally, my mom's on her way home.
We've had the past two days off, which has been nice. I've just been able to hang out. Yesterday, Allie, Kaylee, Kimia, and I went to Joe's house for a little bit. Then we went to Wendy's with Joe and a bunch of his friends. Then Joe's friends ditched him to go play lazer tag haha, so Kaylee had to take Joe home. Allie and Kimia and I went up to Scott's, he lives pretty far away and I drove Kimia's truck, which has no power steering. Kinda scary for the first 5 minutes, gotta admit. So we watched like 20 minutes of The Big Lebowski & then we had to get to my house to make curfew. We were actually kind of late, but my mom was cool.
My dad stayed up last night until like 12, and I thought he was going to ruin our plan of leaving again. But thankfully he went to bed 5 minutes before Andy called me and told me him and Noel and Fog were waiting for us at the end of my street. So, out we go. Kinda sketchy but worth it, I was dying to see Andy. Soo...we drop Fog off and go to Andy's house, where Kimia and Allie fall asleep on Andy's bed while Noel watches Conga. Andy and I just talk, and he was extremely sweet. Thank god for that kid, he makes me crazy :]. After awhile Noel took us home, he had to be up for school this morning.
Today, after Kimia and Allie left I just hung out and made THREE casseroles for my mom to take to this dinner. I hope they turned out okay. Anyway, my parents left to go to their dinner at 5:15. It is now 8:46 and they are still not back. I can't go/get anywhere until they get home. They ruined my plan of seeing Andy tonight, b/c they won't answer their phones and they are taking FOREVER to get home. So I doubt I'll see Andy tonight. And if I do, it will probably mean me sneaking out earlier than I'd want to (which is sketch) and then hanging out with him and Noel. I don't mind that, but I always feel bad for Noel.
But today Andy was @ work and it was dead so he called me and he started telling me that he wasn't very happy right then because his dad was being an immature bastard about things..."things" meaning college. His dad is NOT cool about things like that. He really wants Andy to go to NM Tech, I'm pretty sure. Andy doesn't want to. His parents want him to move out, maintain good grades in college, and have a job that pays enough to support him. I don't know about that? I thought it was pretty decided that he was going to UNM, but I guess not. Here's our conversation...
Me: Are you going to live with your parents next year?
Him: Nah, I hope not.
Me: Well what are you going to do?
Him: I have to decide tomorrow
Me: Decide where you're gonna live?
Him: Decide where I'm going to school..UNM, NMSU, NM Tech.
Me: Oh...
Him: I don't want to live with my parents.
Me: Which means...that you're going to leave Albuquerque.
Him: I really don't want to. I want to go to UNM and live in the dorms.
Me: Yeah...so why do you have to decide tomorrow?
Him: Cause I have tomorrow off.
Me: So you can think about it a lot?
Him: Yeah, and talk to my mom about it.
Me: What do you want to do?
Him: I want to go to UNM and live in the dorms! But they expect me to do all this shit at the same time, and I think I'd flunk out.
Me: Yeah...
Him: Going to UNM is gonna suck
Me: Then go to State or Tech
Him: I don't want to leave Albuquerque...I can't leave you Tayler. I'd miss you too much.
Me: I don't know what I would do if you left Andy.
Him: I think I'd cry
Me: Haha, I think I'd cry too...but if you want to go Andy, just go. Seriously.
Him: Well I just don't want to leave ABQ, I'd be in the middle of nowhere if I did
Me: Yeah..that's true. What'd your brother do? Has he ever not lived with your parents?
Him: No, he never moved out. I think he takes a couple classes, and then he has that fucking job. That's why I don't understand why my parents bitch at me so much, cause my brother doesn't do fucking anything.
Me: Maybe they don't want you to be like him.
Him: No, that shit pisses me off. It's fucking assumed that I'm like him and I'm not at all, that pisses me off so much. I'm not my fucking brother, I'm not gonna be him.
Me: Okay, I'm sorry.
Him: No, I'm sorry, that just makes me mad...I'm sorry baby..
Okay, so I don't think it went exactly in that order, but bascially all that was said in our conversation. I honestly thought he had decided that he is going to UNM for sure, but I guess not. And that scares me...I bet he'll end up going to UNM, but just the chance that he won't is terrible.
I definitely have no control over what happens with that, and I want him to do what he truly WANTS to, with no thoughts of me involved. Because I know we won't be together as long as he thinks, as long as he says we will. And I would hate it if he made a decision like that just because I'm only a sophomore in high school and I'm staying exactly where I am.
So we'll see how that goes.
Finally, my mom's on her way home.