[#8] Wrapped Around Your Finger [4/5]
part 1 ϟ part 2 ϟ part 3 ϟ part 4
New Years was quickly approaching. Sehun didn't have any plans in the first place, but now it was especially true. He was mostly busying himself with work just to give him something to do. He had a surprisingly small amount of friends, and he'd managed to piss two of his closest ones off. Seulgi was a whole different level.
He'd finally had a shift with her, and she refused to look at him the entire time. Sehun anticipated that, but it still hurt. After all, he'd been friends with her longer than he'd even known Joohyun. He would be the first to admit he messed up, but losing every close friend he had seemed a little too harsh.
It wasn't until New Years Eve that Seulgi actually started interacting with him. He was working a long shift until closing, but she was only working half the day. Sehun had started looking forward to shifts when she wasn't there because they tended to be a little more comfortable to get through. To his surprise, she nudged him on the shoulder the same way she always did about halfway through her shift when the cafe was pretty much empty.
“Why did you do it?” She asked softly.
“What?”
“You know what I'm talking about. Why did you cheat on Joohyun? I just want to know your reasons...”
“I never intended to cheat on her,” Sehun sighed. “As soon as I realized Junmyeon was the one I liked, I had planned to break up with her...I never wanted to drag her along or cheat on her...Things just...happened...”
“Joohyun said that Junmyeon kissed you.”
“Yeah,” Sehun mumbled, somewhat bitter. “But it didn't matter in the end.” There was a small lull as Seulgi searched Sehun's eyes. “Anyways, I'd wanted to give Joohyun a good Christmas but that backfired royally and it's turned out to be one of the worst Christmases for all of us. I guess I should have dumped her a week before.”
“Well, I don't think either timings were ideal,” Seulgi sighed. “Either way it was going to hurt her too...But it sounded like you wanted to treat her well in the end, and I appreciate that. Was the kiss really the first instance of something more between you and Junmyeon?”
“Well, it was the only time we'd ever kissed if that's what you were wondering. And it was unexpected,” Sehun sighed. He didn't want to think about Junmyeon anymore. “We usually just hung out and watched movies or ate dinner. Although I admit we snuggled during some of the movies...But I swear, I didn't want to cheat on Joohyun whenever I saw Junmyeon. I even tried to stop seeing him when I started feeling weird about him, but I...I couldn't...”
“Junmyeon is pretty cuddly,” Seulgi agreed. “Even I've snuggled him during a movie or two with Joohyun.”
“He turned me down though, so I guess that train's crashed as well,” Sehun announced, pained smile on his face. Seulgi looked just as sad.
“He kissed you though...Junmyeon isn't the type to play around with people's feelings.”
“He didn't want to hurt Joohyun, so he broke things off with me. I'm pretty sure he wants me to get back together with her, but I'm not going to. That ship has sailed and I'm just going to accept defeat.”
“This really sucks, Sehun,” Seulgi mumbled. “I was always worried about this moment after you and Joohyun started dating. I don't want to pick sides...I love you all, even Junmyeon...You guys are going to have to sort things out on your own.”
“I know. Honestly, I think right now all I can do is move on,” Sehun sighed. “If you want to stop talking to me, I understand. I'm sure Joohyun isn't thrilled that you're still seeing me.”
“She's calmed down a lot since then, actually. She's still really upset and depressed, but she's not being irrational anymore.”
“That's good,” Sehun sighed. “That she's acting rationally again, I mean. She was pretty intense the night we broke up...I was worried about her...”
“Yeah, she told me she acted up. I don't think she'll ever admit it to you, but she feels pretty embarrassed about it.”
“She doesn't need to. I hurt her. I had it coming.”
“I want you both to be ok,” Seulgi said gently. “You don't have to make up and go out again, in fact I think that would cause more problems, but I want you both to be happy again...”
“Well, stay by Joohyun's side. She needs someone to support her right now and I obviously can't be that person.”
“You need someone by your side too, don't you?” She asked, looking up at him. He bit his lip. She was right.
“Yeah...” He muttered.
“I'm not going to take sides because you're both my friends...but I'm here for you, alright? And I'll let you know how Joohyun is doing too.”
“Thanks...”
Seulgi patted him on the back. Soon enough customers arrived at the cafe and they were back to their always perky retail personas. By the time they were done with that wave of customers, it was time for Seulgi to leave. She seemed nervous and reluctant to leave Sehun on his own, but he swore he would be fine and he would have another person working with him in a matter of minutes. That wasn't what she'd meant of course, but Sehun didn't need a pity party on New Years Eve. He didn't deserve that kind of attention or drama, nor did he want it.
Really, all he wanted was for Junmyeon to come back into his life, but he knew that was asking too much. So he would settle for a peaceful shift to end the year. He hoped that at the start of the new year, things would gradually start to look up.
~*~
A few weeks went by after Sehun talked to Seulgi. She no longer avoided him or gave him hateful looks. Instead, things seemed to go back to normal. It was the only normalcy that had returned to Sehun's life honestly. He hadn't contacted Junmyeon or Joohyun since Christmas. The pain was still there, but it was starting to sting just a little bit less.
Sehun's life had become extremely dull though. All he did was work then go home and waste the hours away. He tried calling some of his old friends, but most of them were busy with post-New Years plans and the like. Ultimately, Sehun gave up and just decided to resume his routine of lifelessly watching movies to pass the time. He really needed better hobbies.
He'd increased his hours a little at work, mostly because he had the time now and any extra cash was welcome. He was grateful to have a few more shifts with Seulgi as a result. She really was the only friend he could rely on at the moment.
They were working a closing shift together one evening when she finally decided to bring up Joohyun. Sehun hadn't asked about her, but Seulgi would occasionally give him small updates. This night, she had something different in mind.
“You know, I don't think Joohyun's really gonna move on until you two talk about things properly...without screaming at each other,” she sighed.
“Easier said than done, Seulgi,” Sehun grumbled, cleaning one of the tables.
“She hasn't talked to Junmyeon either...In fact, she told me she hasn't seen him since Christmas.”
“That makes sense. I wouldn't want to see either of us if I were her.”
“Sehun...Junmyeon hasn't even come home once since then. This break up should not tear their damn family apart, especially since you and Junmyeon aren't even seeing each other.”
“And how am I supposed to fix this? You should be rallying Junmyeon, not me. I'm not related anymore, remember?”
“Joohyun needs to hear it from you how you felt during that time. She never got to hear what you told me about how you wanted to treat her well in the end.”
“What will that fix? Nothing.”
“It'll give her the peace of mind she needs to move on, Sehun. She still thinks you were two-timing her when all you were really doing was watching movies.”
“And snuggling...”
“Ok, that might be a little harder to explain, but it's not like you and I haven't snuggled before.”
“But the feelings were different.”
“Stop fighting me when I'm trying to support you!” Seulgi whined. “The point is, as soon as you realized you loved him, you had planned to set things right as gently as you could, right?”
“Yeah...”
“I think she deserves to know that. She feels really betrayed right now when she really shouldn't have to...and if you can at least set her mind at ease there, I think it would really help.”
“She probably still doesn't want to see me though, right?”
“Leave that to me, ok? Just...tell her the truth and end things properly.”
“Alright...”
Sehun had figured Seulgi would gradually talk Joohyun into the idea. Instead, Seulgi had texted Joohyun to come to the cafe that night, without even informing her that Sehun was there. She didn't even tell Sehun that Joohyun was coming until she was apparently almost there and they were 15 minutes from closing. Needless to say, he wanted to scream.
“What the hell!?”
“I said to leave it to me, didn't I?” She singsonged.
“I didn't think you would do it this way!”
Before they could continue arguing, the bell above the door rang and a customer walked into the cafe. They both turned and welcomed the customer in their usual polite voices. Sehun's heart sank when his eyes met with Joohyun's for the first time in weeks. She looked well, albeit nervous and very confused. She didn't say anything before grabbing the door handle with one of her hands. Before she could leave, Seulgi called out to her.
“Don't you dare, Joohyun!”
The girl stopped, pouting at Seulgi. Sehun watched as his coworker practically dragged Joohyun into the cafe, sitting her at one of the tables. The next thing he knew, Seulgi was snapping her fingers at him and pointing at the seat across from Joohyun. He gulped and sat down, looking at her with a pleading glance. This was not how he wanted to patch things up.
“Don't we have to close?” Sehun asked.
“I can handle it. You two talk,” Seulgi insisted. “And don't you dare run away, either of you.”
Joohyun sighed and looked at Sehun with a grimace. It wasn't so much an angry expression as it was an 'I don't want to do this either' expression. At least they could already come to terms on one thing. After a few minutes of unbearable silence, Sehun finally spoke up.
“So...How have you been?”
She stared into his eyes for a moment, and Sehun could tell she was trying to think of how to answer the question. Had he already messed things up by asking how she was?
“I've been...not so good,” she admitted quietly. “You?”
“About the same,” Sehun sighed, laughing a bit at the end.
The smallest semblance of a smile graced Joohyun's face and Sehun felt like he could melt at the sight. He'd missed it so much. He'd missed her. Before they had started dating, they'd been friends, and that hadn't really changed throughout their relationship.
Despite how much Sehun had missed her, keeping a conversation going was almost impossible. It wasn't that she was being hostile. It was just that neither of them really knew how to overcome the awkward wall that had formed between them. Sehun was thankful she wasn't screaming at him and throwing things anymore at least.
After 15 minutes of uncomfortable small talk followed by large amounts of silence, Seulgi had finished cleaning up and was getting ready to lock up, so she shooed both of them out the door. The cold winter air might as well have smacked Sehun in the face, and he groaned. He heard Joohyun giggle beside him.
“You've never been fond of the cold, have you?”
He smiled at her and shrugged. Her expression gradually became sadder and she looked away. He felt her fingers gently grip the sleeve of his jacket.
“It wasn't all a lie, right?” She practically whispered, voice desperate.
“No,” Sehun answered soothingly, grabbing her hand.
“You really loved me?”
“I did. I loved you so much. You're still so important to me. I never wanted to hurt you...And I never wanted to two-time both you and Junmyeon, please believe me...”
“Just tell me, were you seeing him behind my back?”
“In a literal sense, yes, I was going to his house, but all we did was watch movies and cook really pathetic attempts at dinner.” Joohyun laughed quietly. “That kiss was the first thing we did that crossed the line...And it was a mistake. Honestly, I really regret letting it happen.”
“Why?” Joohyun asked, looking surprised this time. “I thought you loved Junmyeon...” Sehun sighed and leaned against the wall of the cafe.
“I do...But it wasn't right to do that while I was still dating you. You're right, I should have pushed him away. I'd wanted to spend Christmas with you, so any thought of him should have been pushed to the side until then. Instead I hurt us both...And I'm really sorry. You didn't deserve what I did to you.”
“Thank you...for apologizing,” she whispered, leaning against the wall beside him. “I should apologize too. I overreacted and never let you explain yourself...And I never should have broken the picture frame or cut the bunny's ears...I'm so, so sorry...I'm ashamed of the way I acted.”
“You were hurt and I wasn't able to explain it well to you.”
“But still. I took it too far...”
“I accept your apology,” Sehun said softly.
There was a brief moment where neither of them talked, but this silence was much more pleasant than before. Joohyun leaned her head lightly on Sehun's arm.
“This is really it for us now, isn't it?” She asked, voice shaking. Sehun looked down at her and noticed tears gathering in his eyes.
“For our relationship, yes...”
“I'm going to miss you,” she whispered, a quiet sob escaping at the end. “I really loved you.”
“I loved you too.”
“Do you think someday we'll be able to see each other again without it hurting? You mean so much to me, I don't want to lose you...”
“If we could manage to do that, I would really like it,” Sehun said truthfully. “You're still really important to me.”
“I'm not ready yet...In fact, I don't think I'm going to be able to see you again for a while...But someday, when I'm better, I hope we can meet and talk to each other like we used to...If you're still with Junmyeon, I'm sure I'll see you again in the future...” Sehun smiled sadly.
“Junmyeon and I aren't together. I was rejected...But I think I'd like to see you again all the same.” Joohyun's eyes widened and she looked confused.
“I would have thought...” She mumbled.
“Junmyeon regretted it and told me he couldn't do it. I really dug my own grave, didn't I?”
“Sehun...”
“It's alright. It's not your place to be the one comforting me about this. After all, you were a victim too. Let's just both do our best from now on, alright?”
“Yeah...”
Seulgi, who had been standing off to the side after locking up the cafe, decided they'd more or less patched up what they could. She walked over slowly, glancing in between the two.
“You two about done...?” She asked hesitantly. Sehun looked at Joohyun briefly, but she didn't meet his eyes. He frowned slightly and nodded.
“Yeah, I think we are...”
“Alright...We should probably get going then...” Seulgi suggested.
Sehun stood up from the wall and took a step forward. Joohyun grabbed his hand timidly, and Sehun glanced back at her sadly. Her shoulders were shaking and Sehun knew she wasn't looking at him because she was trying to mask tears. He could feel tears prickling at his eyes as well. Saying goodbye to her was a lot harder than he'd imagined.
“Will you hold me one last time...?” She asked so quietly Sehun almost didn't here it.
“Of course,” he said, immediately wrapping his arms gently around her. It felt so foreign to him. He hadn't held her in so long.
She pressed her face into his chest and quiet sobs escaped, muffled by the fabric of his sweater. He held her tighter, rocking her slightly like he'd done so many times in the past to comfort her, only this time it didn't make her feel any better. He could no longer give her what she wanted or needed, and they were both finally coming to terms with it.
“I won't be beside you anymore, but I hope you'll continue moving forward and being the same amazing girl you've always been,” he mumbled into the top of her head. She let out a slightly louder sob in response. “You'll find someone who could give you everything that I couldn't. I know you will.”
She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly. All she could do in response to his words was cry. Sehun rubbed her back until she calmed down. When she'd managed to stop crying, she pulled away quickly, looking up at him with a forced smile.
“Thank you for everything,” she said quietly.
“Thank you,” Sehun responded. “I'm glad I met you, Joohyun...”
She bit her lip and nodded, trying to keep herself under control. She wiped her eyes and Seulgi wrapped an arm around her waist to comfort her.
“Thank you for the necklace by the way...” Joohyun added quietly. “It's beautiful. Do you mind if I keep it?”
“Of course not,” Sehun answered, smiling gently. “Your cookies were amazing as well. I'll miss those too.” She let out a mix of a sob and a laugh.
“Make sure you get Junmyeon to fix the bunny too. If he asks, just tell him it was my fault...”
Sehun smiled bitterly. Somehow, he didn't see himself going to Junmyeon again any time soon, especially not with a mangled bunny stuffy. Seulgi must have noticed the uncomfortable topic change, because she quickly interjected before things could become negative again.
“I think I'll take it from here,” she started. “We're gonna have a girl's night full of lots of crying and binge eating~” Joohyun nodded silently and Sehun smiled at Seulgi.
“Thanks...Take care of her,” he mumbled. It wasn't his place to say it really, but he just wanted Joohyun to be alright.
Joohyun sniffled and cleared her throat before letting out a shaky breath, then looked straight into his eyes. Using every last bit of fortitude she had, she said one last thing to him.
“Goodbye, Sehun...”
“Goodbye, Joohyun.”
She offered him one last smile, this one managing to look much less forced than the last, then turned and started to walk away, Seulgi still attached at her hip. Sehun watched them leave, not moving until they were both out of his sight. It was officially over. He and Joohyun were done.
~*~
Following the big breakup, Sehun's life seemed to go by in a blur. He was feeling better about the way things ended with Joohyun, but it still didn't make staying away from Junmyeon any easier. He wanted to respect the other man's wishes, but he also wanted to keep fighting. Junmyeon was being stubborn after all, why couldn't Sehun be as well?
Seulgi was actually surprisingly encouraging about Sehun seeing Junmyeon again. As far as she was concerned, Junmyeon made Sehun happy and vice versa, so it was worth fighting to the bitter end. He'd already gone through so much, it was a shame to give up now. At least, that was what she always told him.
Still, it was a little hard to talk to Junmyeon when the man was adamant about staying away. He never answered any of Sehun's calls or texts. The younger didn't know where he worked either, not that he would drop in unannounced at his work place. Sehun wasn't that desperate. Yet. He did know where Junmyeon lived though. Perhaps it was time to pay a surprise visit to the man's apartment. If nothing else, he could have his final say on the matter.
The problem was Sehun didn't know when Junmyeon worked, and coordinating with his own work schedule was hard. He decided the best way to catch Junmyeon would be on a weekday after he finished work. If he went on the weekend and Junmyeon wasn't working, there was a chance that the older man would ignore him entirely and not even answer his door once he saw it was Sehun. He would have to catch Junmyeon completely by surprise, which meant getting there before he did.
The next weekday that Sehun got off work in the late afternoon, he headed over to Junmyeon's apartment. He knocked on the door when he got there, but received no response. As suspected, Junmyeon wasn't home yet. Sehun sighed and sat down, leaning against the door. He would have to wait now.
He'd brought the bunny with him, in hopes that even if their talk went nowhere productive, he'd still be willing to fix it. He might even be able to use that as an excuse to get Junmyeon to talk to him in the first place. He snuggled it close as a cold gust of wind blew by. They were still in the heart of winter, so waiting outside wasn't exactly an ideal situation, but Sehun was willing to do anything to see Junmyeon again. He was that desperate.
Unfortunately, waiting turned out to be a much longer process than Sehun had originally anticipated. Hours passed and the sun began setting in the sky and there was still no sign of Junmyeon. Sehun was huddled into a ball, shivering nonstop. The bunny had become the only source of warmth he had beyond his jacket, but even then, it did little to help. Sehun was just starting to consider giving up when finally Junmyeon walked up the steps to his apartment. He froze in place, eyes wide, when he spotted the younger curled up against his door.
“Sehun...” He gasped.
“Mind letting me in?” Sehun asked, shivering so much his voice even shook. Junmyeon nodded frantically.
“Yeah!”
He rushed over to the door and unlocked it. After, he helped Sehun to his feet, the latter being too cold and numb to get up on his own. This was why Sehun hated winter. Junmyeon helped him inside and shut the door, immediately cutting them off from the harsh terrain outside. Junmyeon left his side to turn on a few lights in his apartment. Sehun waited until his body thawed out slightly before chancing to move into the living room where Junmyeon was.
The older man looked at him nervously. It was a bit saddening to realize how awkward things had managed to become between them in the small amount of time they'd spent apart. It probably didn't help that Junmyeon had no idea why Sehun was there.
“How have you been?” Sehun asked, trying to fill the silence.
“Working,” Junmyeon answered. “Why are you here?” It wasn't the least bit malicious, but it still hurt Sehun to hear the question asked in the first place.
“I just want to talk to you again, Junmyeon...About everything.”
“Sehun...” The other man sighed, and Sehun knew he was getting ready to argue again.
“Please! Just hear me out...”
“Fine. What do you want to say?”
“Joohyun and I talked again,” Sehun started, unsure of why he was so nervous all of a sudden. It just felt like everything was riding on his choice of words here.
“How did it go?”
“We broke up...Properly this time. No screaming, no fighting. We talked civilly like adults.”
“I see...”
“Please don't think this is your fault...I'm the one who fell for you. I'm the one who chose to end it with Joohyun. I'm the one that still wants to be with you.”
“I still seduced you out of a relationship...”
“Well, that's a rather dramatic way of putting it,” Sehun joked. “But you could have just stood there and I still would have found you attractive. We could have sat on opposite ends of the room and I still would have enjoyed your presence. All you had to do was breathe, Junmyeon, and I'm pretty sure I still would have found a way to fall in love with you.”
“And you were telling me I was dramatic...”
“I want to be with you,” Sehun repeated fervently, taking a step closer to Junmyeon. “I love you...”
Junmyeon looked at him in a mixture of emotions. Sehun could tell he wanted to be with him too. But there was so much hesitance and fear in Junmyeon's eyes. Eventually he looked down with a sigh.
“I'm grateful that you feel that way...and that you were able to properly talk things out with Joohyun...But I just can't, Sehun...”
“Why? Because I was once your sister's boyfriend I'm completely off-limits?”
“I don't know! But when my sister cried her eyes out and told me she didn't want to see me again, it feels pretty shitty to just ignore that and date you!” Junmyeon snapped, surprising Sehun. “I can't get over this as easily as you did.”
“It wasn't easy,” Sehun argued. “It hurt both of us...But I'm not going to let it stop me from being with you. I love you, Junmyeon. You've got to decide whether you're willing to move on or not...”
Junmyeon looked down once more. There was silence in the room, and Sehun realized that he wasn't going to get a response. The silence was his answer. Sehun bit his lip, nodding slightly, letting reality sink in once more. He'd said what he could. If Junmyeon still refused, that was just how things were going to be. Sehun would have to move on.
“I understand,” he whispered, and Junmyeon looked up at him in a mixture of guilt and confusion. “I'll leave you alone, but first...Could you at least fix Junnie?”
Sehun held the bunny up, showing Junmyeon the half-unraveled ears. Junmyeon's eyes widened and he rushed over, grabbing the bunny delicately from Sehun. The younger could tell Junmyeon was disappointed and hurt, seeing something he worked so hard on in this state.
“What happened!?”
“He had an accident.”
“I can see that, but...”
“Can you fix him, please? You don't have to see me again in order to give him back to me. You can just leave it in the mailbox for my apartment...I just really want to be able to hug him without worrying that his ears will fall off.”
“Alright...”
“I'm gonna go then...Bye, Junmyeon.”
“Goodbye, Sehun...”
The younger took a few steps backwards, eyes still lingering on Junmyeon. This would probably be the last good look he got of the man, so he wanted to commit it to memory. Finally, he turned and walked away, leaving the warmth of the house and Junmyeon behind. The cold seemed to bite even more as he walked home. He'd never really warmed up from before either. He really hated winter.
~*~
Joohyun watched her mother sigh as she hung up the phone. The woman had been trying to get together with Junmyeon for some time, especially since he never showed up for their New Years party, but he always had something going on. Now it seemed he was pouring his everything into work. Joohyun wondered if that was actually the case or if he was just making excuses.
Ever since she and Sehun had broken up, Joohyun had had a lot of time to reflect on everything. It might have been naive and too soft of her, but she'd already forgiven Sehun. It still hurt a lot and it would for a while, but she'd at least found the closure she needed. She hadn't really fixed things with her brother though. As far as he knew, he was still hated by her.
She didn't think she could hate Junmyeon though, even after he kissed her boyfriend. She really was a soft idiot, but she missed her big brother. She wanted him to be happy as well. Junmyeon was the type to beat himself up over his shortcomings, so he was no doubt still beating himself up over everything that happened. Joohyun decided it was finally time for a peace offering.
She headed over to his house the following Saturday. She'd tried calling him, but he didn't pick up, so she decided to come anyway, hoping he wouldn't have guests over or turn her away. She had a feeling he was being stubborn more than anything else.
When she knocked on his door, she heard footsteps approaching quickly. She took a deep breath and put on as gentle a smile as she could muster. The door opened and Junmyeon stood there with his mouth slightly agape.
“Joohyun...What are you doing here...?”
“You didn't answer my calls,” she said sheepishly. “Can I come in?”
“Y-Yeah...”
Junmyeon opened the door and Joohyun entered. She slipped off her shoes and walked to his living room. Junmyeon followed behind cautiously. Joohyun leaned against the back of his sofa and sighed, glancing around the room.
“It feels like forever since I've been here,” she mumbled more to herself than to him. “You always used to come over to our house to visit...”
“Joohyun, is something wrong?” Junmyeon asked. “Did mom need something? Is this about the cake pan?” Joohyun couldn't help the small giggle that escaped.
“No, it's not about the cake pan. It's about us...”
“Ok...What about us?”
“Sit down on the couch with me. It feels awkward talking like this.”
Joohyun walked around to the other side and plopped down. Junmyeon hesitantly headed over and sat down beside her. He hadn't expected Joohyun to show up at his door, especially not in as good a mood as she was in. This whole situation felt almost surreal. Almost like things were normal between them again.
They sat in silence for a while. Junmyeon was tapping his foot anxiously, waiting for Joohyun to start speaking. She seemed to be taking her time to collect her thoughts. Finally, she cocked her head to the side when she noticed a bunny without any ears on the coffee table and a ball of gray yarn and started project beside it. She smiled sadly and sighed.
“Ah, this is um...Just something that someone asked me to fix up,” Junmyeon supplied in the silence.
“I know. It's Sehun's right? I was the one that ruined it...”
“Oh...” Junmyeon mumbled.
“So I guess he saw you again, right?” Joohyun asked.
Junmyeon said nothing, but nodded. Another uncomfortable silence overtook the room. Joohyun glanced over at Junmyeon, noting how his fingers were gripping at his pant leg and shaking.
“Isn't it sad how awkward it's gotten between us?” She mumbled. “We used to talk to each other about everything, even really embarrassing things, and now we can't even say 5 sentences to each other.”
“I don't know what to say,” Junmyeon responded, not looking her in the eyes.
“And that's part of the problem, isn't it?” She laughed. “Can we talk about what happened?”
“We can talk about whatever you want...”
“I'm sorry for what I said to you. Asking you to stay away from your own family was wrong of me.”
“It's alright...”
“No, it's not,” Joohyun sighed. “I was really hard on you and even harder on Sehun. I set things right with him, so I want to do that with you.”
“What's there to set right? I was the one that kissed your boyfriend. I got what was coming.”
“I was always insecure around you, did you know? You were attractive and talented and kind. I always felt like I was in your shadow.”
“How could you think that? Do you not realize how talented and beautiful you are?”
“It's something that's hard for me,” Joohyun admitted. “I guess losing Sehun was just another insecurity weighing me down and I took it out on you. I mean, you did kiss him so you weren't completely without fault. But when I lost him, all I could think was 'what does he have that I don't?' Even now, I'm not sure what it is...But I know now that comparing myself won't do any good. Sehun doesn't love me that way anymore, and that's the end of it.”
“I'm sorry...”
“Sehun told me that he never wanted to cheat on me with you. He said he'd wanted to give me one last good date together on Christmas before breaking up with me. I honestly should have seen it coming. I could tell our relationship was changing, but I chose to ignore it. Instead I just got upset and jealous.”
“You had the right to be...”
“Maybe. I shouldn't have said those hurtful things to you or Sehun though. I can tell they really affected you. After all, you haven't been home in almost a month and you wouldn't even answer my phone calls...I miss my big brother, Junmyeon.” She placed her hand on top of his, feeling it relax slightly.
“I miss you too,” he whispered, lacing their fingers together. Joohyun smiled at him once more.
“Even though what you did was really uncool and it hurt a lot, I still want you to be happy...So don't hold yourself back because of me. Sehun and I couldn't make it work, but you still might be able to.”
“I don't know,” Junmyeon sighed. “Every time I think of him, I remember what an awful thing I did...I can't bring myself to get past it.”
“How do you feel about him though? Did he make you happy?” She received a small nod. “Do you love him?”
“Yes,” Junmyeon muttered, guilt and affection in his voice. Joohyun smiled.
“Then there's your answer. You need to stop thinking about other people and think about yourself for once.”
“The last time I did that, I ruined little sister's relationship.” Joohyun rolled her eyes.
“We were already a mess before the kiss. It made you happy right? Kissing Sehun.”
“Happier than I've been in a long time.”
“Then don't let it go! You won't meet a guy like Sehun very often, trust me!”
“But what about you?”
“I'll be fine. Besides, it'll give me a reason to see Sehun again someday. We both deserve to be happy, Junmyeon. And so does Sehun. Don't hurt him anymore, ok?”
“Thank you...You really are the best sister.”
“Damn right!” Joohyun agreed, laughing at the end.
She leaned her head on Junmyeon's shoulder and squeezed his hand. He let go only to wrap his arm around her shoulder and pull her close for a hug. She wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on his chest.
“I missed you,” he mumbled into her hair.
“I missed you too!”
They snuggled for a short while, not really talking about anything. Joohyun was amazed that she wasn't more upset. She'd gone to make peace, but she'd anticipated feeling a lot less content with it. Perhaps she'd already forgiven Junmyeon as well. She really was too soft for her own good. She just wanted them all to be happy, whatever that entailed.
When they broke apart, Joohyun readjusted herself on the couch so she was facing Junmyeon. He continued to work on remaking the bunny ears as she gabbed at him, catching up on the lost time. As her throat got sore, she decided to work on something alongside him, borrowing some of his yarn. They really were like old people at heart. She'd missed having a crafting buddy though.
She finally left towards the evening as the sun was starting to set. Junmyeon offered her a ride, but she decided she'd rather walk. Contrary to her now ex-boyfriend, Joohyun really liked winter time. She gave Junmyeon one last hug and a few words of encouragement before heading home.
She hadn't felt this at peace in a long time. Being angry was so exhausting. The sting was still there when she thought of Junmyeon and Sehun, but she was learning to cope with it. In the end, she genuinely wanted them to figure things out. The sooner they could put everything behind them, the better. Perhaps she was being naive and simplistic again, but she couldn't help it. She loved them both too much to stay angry at them forever.
~*~
part 1 ϟ part 2 ϟ part 3 ϟ part 4 ϟ part 5