I'll Let You Find Me
Wowza. I'm quite sure that after this long I was supposed to come back with some epic post about big life changes and important experiences. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
My thoughts have been quite overwhelming the last couple of months and that's been 87% work related. I guess I've been freaking out harder than usual because I've reached a stage of finality. This particular position is an actual career. While realistically there is absolutely a timebomb on my specific position, the industy itself is a career and there is quite the corporate ladder to be journeyed, if so desired.
My first job kind of had career potential. It is a career for a lot of people. For me, that was never an option. I knew I'd move on. My second job was not a career. With many huge changes and sacrifices, I could've found a home at that company I loved so much, but the risk was honestly not worth it.
Now, this place could be it. It's not that I'm not grateful for everything I have. I have so. Fucking. Much. And I realize it. But.
But as soon as you get everthing you need you start yearning for the things that you want. It's a scary cycle because there's a super solid chance that getting what I want would fulfill those needs. Torture myself until the end of time not even trying and then wallow about not having what I want. Trying is fucking scary.
Things that are way less scary? Armpit tattoos.
Fuck. Yes.
Armpits might be a weird thing to be self-conscious about hey, this is me. Also, mine always had a bit of darkness to them instead of that samey skin tone and I've never found a definitive answer WHY this happens or how to lessen the gross look. I don't think it was hair related I think my skin was just like fuck it! So I've wanted tattoos for about 6 years when I first saw an armpit tat. And honestly, it isn't just the covering up of something I didn't like, I love the idea of the hidden placement, it's so fun. Once I finally found someone awesome enough to do what I wanted, I shelled out all the moneyz and here they are. I am in love.
My thoughts have been quite overwhelming the last couple of months and that's been 87% work related. I guess I've been freaking out harder than usual because I've reached a stage of finality. This particular position is an actual career. While realistically there is absolutely a timebomb on my specific position, the industy itself is a career and there is quite the corporate ladder to be journeyed, if so desired.
My first job kind of had career potential. It is a career for a lot of people. For me, that was never an option. I knew I'd move on. My second job was not a career. With many huge changes and sacrifices, I could've found a home at that company I loved so much, but the risk was honestly not worth it.
Now, this place could be it. It's not that I'm not grateful for everything I have. I have so. Fucking. Much. And I realize it. But.
But as soon as you get everthing you need you start yearning for the things that you want. It's a scary cycle because there's a super solid chance that getting what I want would fulfill those needs. Torture myself until the end of time not even trying and then wallow about not having what I want. Trying is fucking scary.
Things that are way less scary? Armpit tattoos.
Fuck. Yes.
Armpits might be a weird thing to be self-conscious about hey, this is me. Also, mine always had a bit of darkness to them instead of that samey skin tone and I've never found a definitive answer WHY this happens or how to lessen the gross look. I don't think it was hair related I think my skin was just like fuck it! So I've wanted tattoos for about 6 years when I first saw an armpit tat. And honestly, it isn't just the covering up of something I didn't like, I love the idea of the hidden placement, it's so fun. Once I finally found someone awesome enough to do what I wanted, I shelled out all the moneyz and here they are. I am in love.