The Dead Speak
So, my mom passed away unexpectedly a couple weeks ago. Came out of nowhere, since she had just been down to visit us a couple of weeks before she died. Freaky how that works. She had just put so many things in her life in order too.
I can't explain what its like, noone thats never been through losing someone that close to you could ever understand. Imagine having a stranger tell you your mom is no more, your initial reaction is 'yeah right', and I guess now I have to spend the rest of my life telling myself 'no really, she's gone' because the initial incredulity never goes away.
Anyway, last night I had a dream. About my mom. It was surreal. I could have sworn my mom was here talking to me and telling me everything would be okay. She did it in the sort of down to earth but not overly affectionate way that she communicated pretty much everything. Like 'quit being foolish'. That didn't really make sense to me, until this evening, when I found out that in about 9 months, I'm going to be a daddy.
Okay stupid brain, I put all your stupid thoughts down on here, now let me sleep, damnit.
I can't explain what its like, noone thats never been through losing someone that close to you could ever understand. Imagine having a stranger tell you your mom is no more, your initial reaction is 'yeah right', and I guess now I have to spend the rest of my life telling myself 'no really, she's gone' because the initial incredulity never goes away.
Anyway, last night I had a dream. About my mom. It was surreal. I could have sworn my mom was here talking to me and telling me everything would be okay. She did it in the sort of down to earth but not overly affectionate way that she communicated pretty much everything. Like 'quit being foolish'. That didn't really make sense to me, until this evening, when I found out that in about 9 months, I'm going to be a daddy.
Okay stupid brain, I put all your stupid thoughts down on here, now let me sleep, damnit.