Matrimonial Surprises (12b/?)
Annie blinked at him for a second before the irritation hit her and her eyes narrowed; she put the cup down and carefully pushed herself up a little more. “Alright, Jeff. I think I’ve been pretty patient when it comes to dealing with your insecurities about being a father for the past nine months. I get it, this is something you’ve been afraid of for years, but now is not the time because in case you haven’t noticed I kind of have my own thing going on over here. I can’t talk you down today. Now I really need you to be the calm one even if you have to fake it. You keep asking what you can do for me, well this is it. It’s my turn to freak out when I need to and your turn to walk me through it.”
Jeff stared at her for a few seconds before he seemed to deflate and unfolded his arms. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
Annie’s steely façade instantly crumbled and she started to sniffle. “It’s just that I don’t have my Mom here to walk me through it like a lot of women do you now?” She took in a shaky breath and wiped a tear, “I really need you right now.”
He situated himself on the edge of the bed and took her face in his hands. “Annie, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere, I promise. We’re in this together, just like we said from the beginning. Whatever you want me to do just tell me.”
She sniffled again wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “Tell me it’s going to be okay?” She whimpered.
Jeff wrapped her up in his arms and whispered in her ear, “Everything will be fine. You’ll be fine, the baby will be fine, and before you know it we’ll get to take her home and we’ll be pulling all nighters because we can’t get her to go to sleep. Then in a few months after she’s thrown up on my suits and torn up your books we’ll feel like real parents.”
Annie choked out a laugh and buried her face in the crook of his neck. “How sick is it that at this point I’m looking forward to it?”
Jeff grinned and kissed her hair, “I’d imagine that right now almost anything sounds better to you than sitting here with a baby stretching out your insides and a needle in your back.”
She pulled back to look at him and managed a small smile. “Yeah, but I bet it will all be worth it in the end.”
“It will be,” Jeff said as he wiped her cheeks with his thumb.
~~~
Nearly three hours later Annie was practically curled around Jeff’s arm and holding on with a death grip while she pushed. Jeff had to plant his feet firmly on the floor so she didn’t pull him off balance. She pushed and panted, he whispered encouraging words in her ear, wiped the sweat off her face and fed her ice chips with his free hand, then eventually Annie screamed in relief and fell back on the bed just as a high-pitched cry filled the room.
Jeff held his breath as the tiny, slimy body was lifted in the air and placed on Annie’s chest. Annie gasped then burst into tears the instant she saw her daughter and stroked her raw skin, ignoring the blood and fluid that she was covered in. Jeff’s hand hovered over her chest but he never actually touched her, he was afraid that she was as fragile as she looked so he just stared. Before his brain even had time to catch up a nurse whisked Laney away to check her over.
Jeff looked between Annie and the baby, feeling completely torn over who to stay with. Annie made the decision for him when he felt her pat his arm insistently. “Jeff, go with her.”
He nodded dazedly and followed the nurse over to the corner of the room where she was cleaning, weighing, and taking foot prints of the squirming infant. “Is she okay?” He asked, his voice sounding a million miles away to his own ears.
The nurse smiled at him as she swaddled the baby and put the tiny pink cap on her head. “She’s just fine.” She skillfully scooped up the bundle and placed her in Jeff’s arms. “Here you go, Daddy. Seven pounds two ounces and 18 inches long.”
Jeff felt all the air leave his lungs as soon as he registered the weight in his arms and he forgot to take in another breath. His eyes flitted all over her tiny face. “She’s so small…”
“Does she have a name yet?”
He nodded, still not taking his eyes off of his daughter. “Laney Amelia Winger.” Laney slowly opened her eyes and blinked up at him blearily, like she was trying to figure out what the hell had just happened to her. Jeff inhaled sharply when his gaze locked with her blue eyes and everything else in the room became background noise. “Holy crap,” he whispered. “Hi.” A smile crept across his cheeks and he huffed out a disbelieving laugh. “Hi.”
“Jeff?” Annie called from the bed where the doctor was finishing up with her.
He finally looked from the baby to her and his smile grew even wider. “She’s perfect.”
“Bring her here!”
Jeff walked towards the bed with deliberate steps, he had never been so aware of his own potential clumsiness in his life. When he got there he awkwardly readjusted the baby and placed her in Annie’s waiting arms.
Annie felt like her heart was going to burst as she cradled her daughter close to her, she felt Laney’s tiny chest rise and fall against hers with each rapid breath, heard every little whimper and whine she made. Annie’s breath caught in her throat as she traced her fingertip over silky skin. “Hi, baby girl,” she cooed, her voice thick with tears threatening to fall again, “I’m your Mommy and I’ll always love you more than anything in the entire world. I promise.” She looked up at Jeff and a laugh escaped her, “She’s beautiful.”
Jeff beamed at her as he leaned down over the bed then pressed his lips to Annie’s forehead. “Just like her mom,” he whispered. “You did so great, I’m so proud of you.”
Annie let out something that sounded like a cross between a laugh and a sob and cradled Laney close while Jeff wiped her tears away with the back of his finger. He wrapped both of them up in his arms while the two nurses cleaned up around the new family.
~~~
Annie had fallen asleep after feeding the baby for the first time, leaving Jeff alone again on the couch. Only this time he had their daughter cradled in his arms. He had barely been able to take his eyes off of her and ignored the frequent buzz of his phone as it vibrated with texts of congratulations from the group.
Laney suddenly sneezed and startled Jeff. His eyes went wide in a slight panic. “Oh God, you’re not getting sick already are you? Please don’t get sick, please.” He chewed on his lips nervously as his eyes shot from Laney, to Annie, then to the closed door as he debated going to get a doctor because his brand new baby just sneezed and that was not okay.
Jeff glanced down at Laney again, her eyes were closed again and she was still resting calmly in his arms. His rational brain decided to restart and remind him that sometimes he sneezed for no reason, too. He huffed out a laugh and shook his head. “God, I’m one of those dads already. What have you done to me?”
As if in response Laney opened one eye to look up at him before squirming a little and settling down again. Jeff felt his chest tighten again and he inhaled a deep breath to try and relieve the pressure. It was then that he came to the startling realization that maybe he wasn’t as fucked up as he always thought he was because he was positive that he already loved her more than he’d ever loved anything, more than he thought he could love anything or anyone. He knew he would do absolutely anything to protect her and make sure she had the happy childhood that he didn’t. He’d even put the money maker on the line for her without a second thought. It was how he had always assumed a father was supposed to feel and the fact that he was experiencing it was an enormous relief to him.
He heard a faint rustling from the bed and looked up to see Annie stirring awake. She blinked a few times then turned her head looking for him. When she saw him sitting in the rocking chair in the corner with the baby cradled in his arms a sleepy smile spread across her face. “Hey.”
Jeff smiled back at her as he carefully rose from the chair. “Hey. How’re you feeling?”
“Sore. But I think that’s normal after pushing a seven pound anything out of you.”
Jeff chuckled softly as he crossed the small distance to the bed. “I’d imagine so.”
Annie gingerly scooted over to make room for him and propped herself up on the pillows then held her arms out and wiggled her fingers. “Gimme.”
“Baby hog.”
“Hey, you had her the entire time I was asleep. Now it’s my turn.”
“You’ve had her for the past nine months!”
“That’s completely different, now gimmie.” She wiggled her fingers again for emphasis.
Jeff rolled his eyes as he gently laid the baby in her arms then settled on the bed beside her with his arm draped around her shoulders. Annie slowly swayed back and forth without taking her eyes off of her daughter’s little pink face. “Has she been awake at all?”
Jeff dipped his head down to rest his cheek against Annie’s hair. “Just for a few minutes,” he murmured.
Annie hummed softly as she ran her knuckles over Laney’s impossibly soft cheek with a feather light touch. “I’m pretty sure we made the cutest baby ever.”
“Duh, how could she not be with our combined genetics? Oh and my mom is on her way. I’m sure she’ll be here right after she stops at Babies R Us and buys up half the store.”
“I thought you told her we don’t need anything else? I swear half of the stuff we have is from her and she can’t afford all this.”
“You know that isn’t going to stop her.” Laney had wriggled one of her hands free from the blanket and Jeff slid his longer finger into her tiny fist. He felt her grip tighten and he smiled. “We should get a dog.”
Annie tore her eyes from the baby to look back at him. “What?”
“I had one growing up…”
“Rosie.”
“Right. And she was my best friend for a long time. Every kid should have a dog like her.” Jeff stroked his thumb across the back of Laney’s fingers. “I want Laney to have that,” he said quietly, “I want to give her everything.”
Annie stretched up to kiss his jaw. “I know you do,” she whispered before turning her gaze back to the baby. “But a new baby and a new dog seem like too much to take on at once. Besides, we live in an apartment.”
“I guess,” He sighed. “How about this, when we get a house with a yard we’ll get a dog.”
“Deal, but we get a rescue dog.”
“Agreed. But I want one that’s a real dog like a Lab or a Collie or a hound, no little annoying yappy things.”
Annie giggled quietly. “You mean you don’t want to be seen walking a Tea Cup Yorkie with a pink bow in its hair?”
Jeff scrunched his face up. “Ugh, God no. I’m not ready to turn in my man card yet.”
“Just wait, before you know it Laney will be roping you into playing dress up with her.”
“I’m sure she will be,” he said as he wrapped his huge hand around Laney’s tiny fist.
Jeff was silent for a few minutes until Annie thought she heard a sniffle and felt his breath become more erratic against her back. She turned her head to look back at him and saw that his eyes were all watery. “Aww, honey are you crying?”
“Pssht, what me? No,” He lied. “Allergies. The tree pollen must be high today.”
Annie barely contained a giggle. “Pollen makes you sneeze, it doesn’t make your eyes water like that.” She reached over to wipe her thumb over his teary eyes. “Jeff, it’s perfectly normal for men to cry when their children are born. It’d be weird if you didn’t. God, I’ve barely stopped crying.”
Jeff blinked rapidly to clear his vision. “That’s not saying much, I’ve seen you cry at commercials. And I’m not even talking about the ones with Sarah Mclachlan for the ASPCA because those even get to Abed.”
Annie rolled her eyes at him. “Jeff, you can’t hide it from me. I’ve known for a long time that deep down underneath all the muscle you’re a big softy.”
“Lies,” He sniffled.
Annie smiled and kissed his jaw again, “Nice try. You can’t fool me, Winger.”
“I never could,” He said with an overly dramatic resigned sigh.
Annie gingerly brought her legs up and bent her knees, then carefully maneuvered Laney so she was propped up on her thighs. Laney’s blue eyes fluttered open and she stared back at her mother. Annie gasped. “Oh wow, I didn’t really see her eyes before. Hi, sweetie pie. I can’t believe you’re really here and ours.” She brought Laney closer and kissed each chubby cheek and her forehead.
Jeff smiled and grasped her little foot through the blanket, “Neither can I.”
“She definitely looks more like her Daddy.”
“You think?”
“Mmmhmm. Her face isn’t as round as mine and she has your lips and nose and more defined chin.”
“If she couldn’t escape the nose at least she escaped the forehead.”
Annie rolled her eyes and brought her face closer to the baby’s. “Don’t listen to Daddy, you both have adorable noses.”
“It looks much better on her, that’s for sure.”
Annie traced her index finger over Laney’s little pink lips. Laney pouted a little and Annie giggled then ran her fingers through the wispy dirty blond hair on her head. “The blond hair is all you, too. Mine was never this light.”
“Who knew my genes were so dominant.”
“You know what I’m most relieved about?” Annie asked as she inspected Laney’s perfectly formed ears.
“What?”
“She isn’t an enormous baby. I was so scared she’d be too big for me to deliver normally since you’re a giant. But you’re just the right size, aren’t you? Yes you are,” She cooed.
Jeff let out a throaty chuckle that Annie felt vibrate against her back. “What happened to no baby talk because it can stunt her verbal development?”
Laney squirmed and let out a little whimper so Annie readjusted her so she was cradled in her arms again. “I know but I can’t help it. She’s so perfect and adorable and ours.”
Jeff gently pulled Annie in closer against him with her head tucked under his chin.
“We’re in charge of making sure she has a good life.”
“She will,” Jeff whispered into her hair. “We’ll make sure she never has a reason to feel unwanted.”
Annie hummed in agreement, “Or that our love for her hinges on her being the best.”
Jeff moved his hand across Annie to cup Laney’s head, his large hand dwarfed her little features. “Or give her a reason to start drinking way too young like I did.”
“And she’ll never get anywhere near Adderall,” Annie said resolutely.
~~~
The next morning Jeff was on his way back to Annie’s room with a styrofoam cup full of fresh coffee. Just as he turned the corner he heard familiar voices chattering in the hallway, the rest of the group was there arguing over which was the correct room number.
“It’s 405!” Shirley insisted. “See, look, it’s right here in the text I got from Jeff.”
“Well he told me 407!” Britta argued.
Jeff sighed louder than necessary to get their attention. “Britta, do you ever get tired of being so very wrong? It’s room 405.”
Shirley squealed and threw her arms around Jeff’s middle, “There you are, Jeffrey! How’s everyone doing?”
“Good. Annie just got done feeding Laney a few minutes ago.”
“Then you told me the wrong number, jackass,” Britta grumbled.
“You know what Britta, I’m in such a good mood I’m not even going to argue. Come on.” He let go of Shirley and pushed the door to room 405 open.
Annie was sitting on the bed cross legged snapping Laney back into her onesie, she looked up when she heard him come in. “Hey.”
“Hey, look at these troublemakers I found lurking around the hospital,” Jeff said as they all filed in behind him.
“Aw, hi guys! I’m so excited for you all to meet Laney!”
Shirley pushed past Jeff to get to the bed, “Let me see that little baby!”
Annie laughed and carefully scooped up the baby then placed her in Shirley’s waiting arms. “Here she is, fed and with a clean diaper.”
Shirley giggled and wiggled her shoulders with delight, “Oh she’s absolutely beautiful! Hello, munchkin, you’re just the cutest little white baby I’ve ever seen!”
Jeff looked away from Troy hugging Annie and raised an eyebrow. “Cutest white baby?”
“Well I’ve had three babies of my own, Jeffrey. I can’t say she’s cuter than them but I can say she’s the cutest white baby.”
He chuckled and draped his arm around Shirley’s shoulders. “Fair enough.”
Pierce came up behind them and clapped Jeff on the shoulder. “Congratulations, Jeff. You’ve done what I never could. Don’t take it for granted.”
Jeff turned around and gave the older man a firm handshake. “Thanks, Pierce. I won’t, I promise.”
“Do you want to hold her, Pierce?” Annie asked from the bed.
His eyes lit up and he stood up straighter, “Really?”
“Of course. I want her to get to know all of you.”
Shirley reluctantly passed the baby over to Pierce. “Make sure you support her head and bottom.”
Jeff looked over to the corner of the room and noticed Abed filming for the first time. “Abed, why are you filming this? Don’t you want to see the baby?”
“I can see her. Since you wouldn’t let me film her delivery this is the next best thing. It’s is a milestone moment for the group.”
“Aww, that’s really sweat, Abed. Can we have a copy?”
“Of course, Annie.”
Britta took Laney from Pierce and carefully cradled her in her arms. She effortlessly slipped into baby talk, much to the amusement of everyone else. “Aww hi wittle baby! You’re so tiny and adorable that I could just eat you up! Yes I could, yes I could!”
“Don’t eat my kid, weirdo.”
She stuck her tongue out at Jeff then went back to gushing over the baby. Troy leaned down to kiss Laney’s cheek then got misty eyes and fanned his hand in front of his face, “I just love that new baby smell, you know?”
Shirley rubbed circles on his back, “I know, pumpkin, I know.”
Jeff sat on the bed next to Annie and pulled her close. She smiled and leaned into his side as they watched their best friends coo and fuss over their daughter.