bob barker, richard dean anderson, and bill cosby!?
OH HOWEVER WILL YOU GET OUT OF THIS ONE MACGYVER... (you sexy beast)
so it turns out i've discovered the smoooothest hour of TV ever. you watch the price is right starring the smoothest motherfucker on the planet... Bob "i'll-let-you-win-the-showcase, if-you-let-me-put-it-in-your-ass" Barker, and in those 25 commercial breaks you watch MACGYVER, starring Richard Dean "i'll-save-your-life-if-you-let-me-cum-on-your-face" Anderson. Today on TPIR Bob continued to make fun of this round, plump, halfway retarded idiot girl who looked like she was an overweight 15 yr old. She wouldn't fuckin bid, and when she finally did, it was pointless because it would be like "negative 5 dollars" or something impossible. i think bob almost pimp slapped her.
then in those commercial breaks, Macgyver (in his infinite knowledge) figured out how to stop a nuclear reactor from melting down!? WTF!? haha. and then him and this girl tried to make out through their radioactive masks and suits. it was humorous. and at the end of the show he drove off in his money-ass BUICK!? oh man the eighties.
after watching that though... i think i could just walk up to paris hilton and be like SUCK MY DICK... and she would. i seriously think about paris hilton more than i should. its unhealthy. in fact i want to start exclusively going to Hilton Hotels. because in my brain, like at least a little bit of the money i spend on the room goes to paris. hahahah. i know thats insane. but its my way of supporting her. because she really does need the money to support TINKERBELL!!! ahhhh. i want a chihuahua as an accessory. no fair :[
so last night i had a CRAZY ass dream. i went to some random wal-mart and got a huge thing of dog food... for my dog that doesn't exist? and i think some donuts that i can't eat anyways. well instead of paying i accidentally walk out of the door. and then i turn around to go back in and pay, and it dawns on me that this huge bag of dog food is expensive. so i should just steal it. so i am goin to the car... and i am trying to stuff my donuts in the bag of dog food... because there is some random employee at my suburban. he is black with dreds... and i guess he asks me for my reciept, and i tell him i lost it. well he had already started my car? and i put the dog food in the back. BUT HE HAD STOLEN MY KEYS BECAUSE HE KNEW I STOLE THE STUFF! whhhhhy. but i had to gas it off because i am not about to get arrested yo. so i am on the interstate, i have a feeling i am goin to tampa because thats all i seem to do these days. AND THEN CARS WITH FLASHING LIGHTS START COMING UP THE ROAD. but you know what? they were red lights... it was those fire department CARS. someone please explain those to me. what is the dude in the fire dept car with the red flashing lights gonna do at the scene of a fire? is he gonna piss on it then call it a day? so i wasnt worried cause those guys suck anyways... but i think they tried to surround me. i got away and went to ANOTHER grocery store. seriously... grocery stores are the predominant setting in my dreams. will SOMEONE explain to me the significance of that!? well i go in there for reasons undisclosed. i realize that i turned off my car so somehow i HAVE to get keys for the suburban... or i'm screwed. then i realized i have my bike and i think "oh man it doesn't need keys." but fuck that. GUESS WHOSE WORKING AT THIS GROCERY STORE!? none other than BILL COSBY!!! he hooked me up with some keys to the burb. the end.
most random dream ever. someone explain it to me.