it happens....
i dunno how to make a post of all the crap going through my head. my job is the first thing in there, and i already made a huge post about that. second is school. i know i need college, and i intend on going, but i'm waiting a year, and i feel like i shouldn't do that, 'cause most people don't go back. but i NEED it. third thing: my car. i need that as much as i need college. hopefully i'll get that fixed soon.
the big thing bugging me right now is why i'm not happy. it's driving me nuts. it's like, i should be content with sleeping under the same roof every night, eating food every day, having a job/making money, but there's something missing. i don't know what. but SOMETHING. and i want that little hole filled. it's ridiculous... whenever i wish on a star, that's what i wish for. if not to fill it, to just know what it is.
i don't know what to do with my life. i wish i didn't have to do anything. i hate money with a passion, so when i get it i spend it on as much useless junk as possible. i think i could get by with just gas money for my car. i'd love to be able to travel all over the place. i never want to settle down. well. maybe someday, but i never want to settle.
i REALLY wanna be the frontperson of a band. or not even front person, but that's what vocalists usually are. i just wanna run around the stage with a mic in my hand. you have a sort of freedom when you do that. and i can get away with it cause nowadays you don't even have to be able to sing. but that's all i do well. at least, i've been told i'm pretty good.
i just realized even my last post on xanga said "i don't know what i'm doing". well it's 100% true.
i think i figured out what i'm going to paint. i bought two canvases a little while back, and last night i stayed up thinking about what to paint on them, and i finally have some sketches. now i need to draw them on the canvas and get paint.
ps. i wanted to say thanks to kora for always being so nice to me. she ALWAYS leaves me comments about how much she loves me and how great i am, and i like having someone like that. haha, as selfish as that sounds. i guess i kinda need it though.
i wish i had my car running. i hate sitting around wasting time, wasting life. i do that a lot. i sleep alot cause i hate being bored. and it's SOOOO hot outside, or else i'd walk. i can't wait til fall. it's my favorite.
i've GOT to fill that void. i can't stand it.
*f r u s t r a t e d*
the big thing bugging me right now is why i'm not happy. it's driving me nuts. it's like, i should be content with sleeping under the same roof every night, eating food every day, having a job/making money, but there's something missing. i don't know what. but SOMETHING. and i want that little hole filled. it's ridiculous... whenever i wish on a star, that's what i wish for. if not to fill it, to just know what it is.
i don't know what to do with my life. i wish i didn't have to do anything. i hate money with a passion, so when i get it i spend it on as much useless junk as possible. i think i could get by with just gas money for my car. i'd love to be able to travel all over the place. i never want to settle down. well. maybe someday, but i never want to settle.
i REALLY wanna be the frontperson of a band. or not even front person, but that's what vocalists usually are. i just wanna run around the stage with a mic in my hand. you have a sort of freedom when you do that. and i can get away with it cause nowadays you don't even have to be able to sing. but that's all i do well. at least, i've been told i'm pretty good.
i just realized even my last post on xanga said "i don't know what i'm doing". well it's 100% true.
i think i figured out what i'm going to paint. i bought two canvases a little while back, and last night i stayed up thinking about what to paint on them, and i finally have some sketches. now i need to draw them on the canvas and get paint.
ps. i wanted to say thanks to kora for always being so nice to me. she ALWAYS leaves me comments about how much she loves me and how great i am, and i like having someone like that. haha, as selfish as that sounds. i guess i kinda need it though.
i wish i had my car running. i hate sitting around wasting time, wasting life. i do that a lot. i sleep alot cause i hate being bored. and it's SOOOO hot outside, or else i'd walk. i can't wait til fall. it's my favorite.
i've GOT to fill that void. i can't stand it.
*f r u s t r a t e d*