(no subject)
Last night was a really busy night. I ended up going to holly bday party. It was straight. I got to see yvan from east hartford and a lot of other people i havent seen in a while. It went by reall fast though i only played like 2 games of pool lol.
After that my mom picked me up and dropped me off at the house then she left so i asked ryan to come over so we could talk. We settled things out which was really great because i was worried all day that we may not be together again. I was so upset and agrivated with myself that i even put myself in that position. All i could think about was how much i really did not want to let this kid go. I was trying so hard not to cry when he was here but i couldnt help it. When we hugged i just couldnt hold it in any longer. At that moment i knew all these feelings iv been feeling inside are VERY strong. I have never been so worried and upset at myself for doing something ina long time and knowing that my actions hurt him upset me the most. I never want to hurt ryan and it seems like i always manage to. Im really going to try this time really like seriously try my hardest not to mess things up. I like this kid way to much to let him walk out of my life. Im really glad he gave me one more chance but i know if i mess up its going to be over, for good! And i really do not want that at ALL. I dont give a shit what anyone says or what anyone else thinks i like ryan alot and im going to try to do anything i can to make us work!!!
Tonight i have to go out to eat with my older sister for her birthday. That should be pretty cool because i barly ever see her. And when i do its for a short period of time. lol my step dad hates her bf and was cheering and running around the house because he cant make it there tonight. He goes "Yes now i dont have to beat the kid in public for his stupid actions" It was funny. but i gotta go im going to go call renee because we havent talked in a while. <3 peace
After that my mom picked me up and dropped me off at the house then she left so i asked ryan to come over so we could talk. We settled things out which was really great because i was worried all day that we may not be together again. I was so upset and agrivated with myself that i even put myself in that position. All i could think about was how much i really did not want to let this kid go. I was trying so hard not to cry when he was here but i couldnt help it. When we hugged i just couldnt hold it in any longer. At that moment i knew all these feelings iv been feeling inside are VERY strong. I have never been so worried and upset at myself for doing something ina long time and knowing that my actions hurt him upset me the most. I never want to hurt ryan and it seems like i always manage to. Im really going to try this time really like seriously try my hardest not to mess things up. I like this kid way to much to let him walk out of my life. Im really glad he gave me one more chance but i know if i mess up its going to be over, for good! And i really do not want that at ALL. I dont give a shit what anyone says or what anyone else thinks i like ryan alot and im going to try to do anything i can to make us work!!!
Tonight i have to go out to eat with my older sister for her birthday. That should be pretty cool because i barly ever see her. And when i do its for a short period of time. lol my step dad hates her bf and was cheering and running around the house because he cant make it there tonight. He goes "Yes now i dont have to beat the kid in public for his stupid actions" It was funny. but i gotta go im going to go call renee because we havent talked in a while. <3 peace