(no subject)
Im so afriad that i might loose the one person i truly care about right. I messed things up. No i didnt cheat, or mess around with anyone i just chilled with ppl i shouldnt have. Damn I feel like shit today and there is nothing i can do to change it fuck... wtf man.
Im basicly just writing to say to ryan i am so sorry hun. I really am. I know there is nothing i can do to change the situation or make it any better the only thing i can do is stop chillin/talking to him fully which i alraedy told him. I told him id rather not talk its causeing problems between u and i. And the least thing i want is to fight with you. I know you may not believe me or dont trust me but please hun just let me show you PLEASE!Im really hopeing everything is going to work out but if not just know that i really do care about you and i didnt mean to hurt you. Im sory hun :/
Today was supposed to be a good day but i woke up feeling sick as heck, went to go look at cars with my mom which wasnt even fun to me because i was thinking to much, then went to lunch but i couldnt eat i felt like i was gunna puke, then came home took a shower and in a hour i have to go to hollys bday party at the Q club. Ryans supposed to go with me but idk anymore. Then after that im supposed to show up at rachels party to watch out for her because thats my girl and i know she gets a lil weird when she is messed up and everyone else is going to be messed up so its not like ppl can watch out for her. Im not getting messed up though. Screw that i dont want to mess shit up even more. Im not staying for too long either it depends on who is there, if sertian ppl are there im prolly just going to go home and chill. If ryan and i are ok maybe ill ask him to as well... ughh i hate this soo damn much u have no idea i feel like shit right now. wtf. Dude i havent felt this bad in a long ass time. Since like fucken 3rd grade. Damn its hard knowing that one person could mean so much to you and because of 1 thing be gone just like that. And its all my fault too. damn. Idk, its just hard right now. Every relationship has problems they can either work them out of give up. Hopefully he wont give up :/
Im basicly just writing to say to ryan i am so sorry hun. I really am. I know there is nothing i can do to change the situation or make it any better the only thing i can do is stop chillin/talking to him fully which i alraedy told him. I told him id rather not talk its causeing problems between u and i. And the least thing i want is to fight with you. I know you may not believe me or dont trust me but please hun just let me show you PLEASE!Im really hopeing everything is going to work out but if not just know that i really do care about you and i didnt mean to hurt you. Im sory hun :/
Today was supposed to be a good day but i woke up feeling sick as heck, went to go look at cars with my mom which wasnt even fun to me because i was thinking to much, then went to lunch but i couldnt eat i felt like i was gunna puke, then came home took a shower and in a hour i have to go to hollys bday party at the Q club. Ryans supposed to go with me but idk anymore. Then after that im supposed to show up at rachels party to watch out for her because thats my girl and i know she gets a lil weird when she is messed up and everyone else is going to be messed up so its not like ppl can watch out for her. Im not getting messed up though. Screw that i dont want to mess shit up even more. Im not staying for too long either it depends on who is there, if sertian ppl are there im prolly just going to go home and chill. If ryan and i are ok maybe ill ask him to as well... ughh i hate this soo damn much u have no idea i feel like shit right now. wtf. Dude i havent felt this bad in a long ass time. Since like fucken 3rd grade. Damn its hard knowing that one person could mean so much to you and because of 1 thing be gone just like that. And its all my fault too. damn. Idk, its just hard right now. Every relationship has problems they can either work them out of give up. Hopefully he wont give up :/