you said it feels good, i said i'll give it a try.
ok, so where do you do your best thinking? i don't know about you but i do mine in the tub. and iwas thinking of things i was afraid of. and i was thinking that as modern human beings we probably have a lot of fears that are totally off. the only fears we should have should have to do with dieing, it makes sense that people would be afraid of blood, or being shot, or even heights, because it's not really heights they're afraid of , but probably the fear of falling from those heights. (random thought that has nothing to do with this, in the unbearable lightness of being, the author says that vertigo is not the fear of falling, but being afraid because one feels the urge to fall.) discomfort, pain all that is designed to tell us that we're putting ourself in danger, and to quit it. so, the fear of pain makes sense too. but being afraid to talk to someone, or to do something new, that really doesn't. unless the new thing is to run with the bulls or something. anyway, i was thinking about the pain thing in regards to relationships. and i realized that when you're feeling pain, maybe it is a good time to decide whether or not it's ok to be doing what you're doing, because maybe it's your mind's way of telling you that it can't take it, and that you are in danger of being hurt much much worse.
i'm sick of people feeling sorry that they've caused people pain. it happens, and the more one worries about it, the more they aren't doing good. it's worthless guilt, unless they did something maliciously. but people who are plagued by the idea that they hurt the ones they love are just setting themselves to do it again.
also thinking about my past, i feel good and crumby at the same time because i know that partially because of me, the people from my relationships, romantic and otherwise, may have figured some things out. good, because they figured things out, bad because it hurts that whoever's next might be treated better than me, and i feel like i deserved that.
anyway, just thinking about stuff.
i'm sick of people feeling sorry that they've caused people pain. it happens, and the more one worries about it, the more they aren't doing good. it's worthless guilt, unless they did something maliciously. but people who are plagued by the idea that they hurt the ones they love are just setting themselves to do it again.
also thinking about my past, i feel good and crumby at the same time because i know that partially because of me, the people from my relationships, romantic and otherwise, may have figured some things out. good, because they figured things out, bad because it hurts that whoever's next might be treated better than me, and i feel like i deserved that.
anyway, just thinking about stuff.