actually, i didn't really say everything that i've been thinking. i still love you and i prolly always will. no matter how hard i try i just can't let go of what we had. but what we had and what we have are two completely different things. things have changed a lot, and i don't think we'll ever be able to fix things no matter how hard we try. i want to be with you so bad, and i want things to be as amazing as they were for over a year, but everytime we try i end up getting hurt and i'm right back where i was last october. i hate feeling like that, and i don't want to have to worry about "how long is it gonna last this time" or "when am i getting dumped". i don't wanna have to constantly worry about losing you all over again. maybe someday things will be different but right now your actions speak louder than your words. you say a lot of amazing and beautiful things, but how you act completely contradicts them so i'm left to think that you only say those things when you're sad and when you can't have me. you always seem to want me when you can't have me, then i get hurt all over again when i come back to you. so right now i'm gonna be alone for a while and i'm gonna try to be happy because i need to start putting my happiness before yours. i'll talk to you on the phone, we'll hang out, we'll be friends.
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