i dont know whats wrong with me
if it was the right decision then tell me why 7 months later im still crying about it every single day
i still think about him anywhere i go or whatever i do.
anyone i talk to or meet is nothing compared to him.
Sometimes someones life can be so confusing. Sometimes people need time.
sometimes people dont mean what they say or do.
sometimes people are really fucking dumb and need to die.
im sorry i was thay way
But did you really know what it was like inside my head everyday?
because im sure if you did. we would be together now.
i miss you.
and that sucks because ive missed you ever since that day.
And i kept telling myself this is good. You need this.
Buti forget to think of WHY i was exacally telling myself that.
and there was no reason.
i hate it when you are sick because i just want to know your ok.
i hate it when you wont talk to me or act like im just another face in the crowd.
i dont want to be just another person or faded memory i want to be real.
but that is something i will probably never acheive but always be so demanding to have.
because the more i realize it.. the more i know i was wrong.
i just want to be myself so why am i so scared to do that?
i hold myself back.
you were the one always there
you were the one i could always talk to
you were the one i was most comfortable around
you were the one that made me feel like a queen
you were the one that kept me sane
you are the one i love
you were the one that always said "everything is going to be alright"
and i wish i could have you here right next to me saying those same exact words 7 months ago.
and i wish more than anything that i didnt cry everyday and everynight
because now without you everything is in black and white.
i want you to know how good i can be.
i want you to know that im more confident than ever in myself right now.
ive lied ive been cruel mean selfish malicious fucking i should die for what ive done
but im just to much of a coward to do someth8ing like that
but it seems you want me dead
and if that is the only thing that i could do to make you happy i would.
Because anything you ask of me right now i would do.
but one thing is i will never get away from you
i will never stop talking to you
i wont let myself be another face in the crowd
and ive never hated myself so much right now.
and i guess you arent sad about reading this
because i dont blame you.... i am just thinking like you do.
But my thoughts are now my goals. maybe if i work hard enough for it i will get it.
i doubt it.
i still think about him anywhere i go or whatever i do.
anyone i talk to or meet is nothing compared to him.
Sometimes someones life can be so confusing. Sometimes people need time.
sometimes people dont mean what they say or do.
sometimes people are really fucking dumb and need to die.
im sorry i was thay way
But did you really know what it was like inside my head everyday?
because im sure if you did. we would be together now.
i miss you.
and that sucks because ive missed you ever since that day.
And i kept telling myself this is good. You need this.
Buti forget to think of WHY i was exacally telling myself that.
and there was no reason.
i hate it when you are sick because i just want to know your ok.
i hate it when you wont talk to me or act like im just another face in the crowd.
i dont want to be just another person or faded memory i want to be real.
but that is something i will probably never acheive but always be so demanding to have.
because the more i realize it.. the more i know i was wrong.
i just want to be myself so why am i so scared to do that?
i hold myself back.
you were the one always there
you were the one i could always talk to
you were the one i was most comfortable around
you were the one that made me feel like a queen
you were the one that kept me sane
you are the one i love
you were the one that always said "everything is going to be alright"
and i wish i could have you here right next to me saying those same exact words 7 months ago.
and i wish more than anything that i didnt cry everyday and everynight
because now without you everything is in black and white.
i want you to know how good i can be.
i want you to know that im more confident than ever in myself right now.
ive lied ive been cruel mean selfish malicious fucking i should die for what ive done
but im just to much of a coward to do someth8ing like that
but it seems you want me dead
and if that is the only thing that i could do to make you happy i would.
Because anything you ask of me right now i would do.
but one thing is i will never get away from you
i will never stop talking to you
i wont let myself be another face in the crowd
and ive never hated myself so much right now.
and i guess you arent sad about reading this
because i dont blame you.... i am just thinking like you do.
But my thoughts are now my goals. maybe if i work hard enough for it i will get it.
i doubt it.