(no subject)
I think i may even start to use this more often. Its a really good stress release. So, this morning, i woke up at 8 and left to go meet Andre at his apartment, I like to hang out with him in the mornings, just talk and cuddle.. Just all 'round spend the most time i can with him since he works nights right now, and im always on days, so its difficult, but we made it work. After he went to bed i finished my sandwich and went to go lay down with him, he was almost completely asleep, so i offered to give him a back rub. He loved it, and i knew he could use one because of the shitty night at work he had.. Anyways, i fell asleep after i was finished to be awoken by my mom phoning me.. Lol she was on her way to church and needed to pee really badly so she asked if she could come up since she was right there anyways.. I got dressed and let her in she came upstairs with me and i explained to her that andre was sleeping for the day.
While she was in there, I went and sat at the computer when someones msn box popped up. I for some reason clicked on his hotmail, just to be a dick.. When i came across two picture/ video messages, the first one was a pair of really nasty tits, and the second one was the girls face whom they belonged too. i knew who she was, she was the girl that andre wanted to end our relationship over because i asked her in the spring of last year if he 'came on too strongly' of course she said no, how stupid was i that perhaps she would have said any different? he was so offended that he practically spent the night at her house to prove a point or something, but we wont go there.
the next thing i seen, because at this point i was so crushed, i found an email that he sent her telling her thanks for the hardon that he woke up with and that she sucks, he laughed and told her to have a good one.
i told him to never call me again, because honestly i cant do this anymore
i cant be the girl that he comes home to, who will rub his back and smile to try and make him forget his day, i cant be the girl thats his fucking security blanket when he goes and looks at other girls tits and what not, talks to whomever and whatever he wants to. he doesn't get the fact that he cant do this kind of shit to me and keep me there.
what the fuck kind of guy says that he wants me to get over whatever it is that im dealing with, spends day in and day out with me, sleeps with me, just to go out and get satisfied by even a picture. lol he tried to tell me that he didn't ask her to send him that picture, like yea.. ok
no girl in their right mind takes a picture like that [and i mean she was holding one, to make it look all 'sexy' and shit] and send it to a random guy friend.. umm.. no. i dont buy that for one second..
im actually sick to my stomach. ive been throwing up all morning, i cant think straight, nothing.
i feel so dirty, so used, so shitty.
its good to know that the guy whos supossed to love you, cant stay faithful. im sorry, thats just now the behaviour to have when you love the person that you're with.
omg!! lol i just cant believe that ive been played the fool once again. i know i can find a nice guy who will say all the things that andre said to me, but mean them this time. if andre honestly meant what he said to me, he wouldn't be looking at other 'friends' tits and getting hard. no, theres something more to that story there, i dont want to know what it is though. not one bit.