A reason to smile.
Sometimes it's hard to remember why I try to smile.
I feel very often like I'm the lowest of low. I've never been smart enough to do a lot, I've never been quick enough, strong enough, witty enough.
I was never motivated to do the things I loved, and never ambitious enough to try and be better. Money always seems to get in the way of my dreams, and usually it's just that there simply isn't enough of it.
I've been trying though, really hard, to be happy with just who I am and what I have. Mostly I'm okay, but recently I feel like I have nothing more to offer then just who I am. What I act like, and how I treat people seem to me to be my only redeeming qualities.
and more and more I think people tend to ignore that I'll do anything for someone because what I have, time, money, feelings, aren't as important as the human race.
I think that, if everyone was put here for a purpose, then I was put here to be the pack mule, The Atlas of emotions and feelings. The only thing that makes my life seem worth while is when I help someone else be happy, or feel less stressed.
That's why I take such good care of my sister, and her kids. I don't know, it's important to know that she's happy and taken care of because she's so good, and so smart, and so worth while to the human race. I want her kids to have what we didn't, and I want to make sure money is the last thing they worry about. Because a kid shouldn't be stopped from their passions because they don't have money.
Times like right now though, all I want is someone to fall against, someone to kiss me and listen to me cry, someone to just hold me and not care about my lacking, my failings, but only care that I'm so much a good person, and sometimes even Atlas needs a hug.
and I often find that I'm alone when I'm saddest.
I feel very often like I'm the lowest of low. I've never been smart enough to do a lot, I've never been quick enough, strong enough, witty enough.
I was never motivated to do the things I loved, and never ambitious enough to try and be better. Money always seems to get in the way of my dreams, and usually it's just that there simply isn't enough of it.
I've been trying though, really hard, to be happy with just who I am and what I have. Mostly I'm okay, but recently I feel like I have nothing more to offer then just who I am. What I act like, and how I treat people seem to me to be my only redeeming qualities.
and more and more I think people tend to ignore that I'll do anything for someone because what I have, time, money, feelings, aren't as important as the human race.
I think that, if everyone was put here for a purpose, then I was put here to be the pack mule, The Atlas of emotions and feelings. The only thing that makes my life seem worth while is when I help someone else be happy, or feel less stressed.
That's why I take such good care of my sister, and her kids. I don't know, it's important to know that she's happy and taken care of because she's so good, and so smart, and so worth while to the human race. I want her kids to have what we didn't, and I want to make sure money is the last thing they worry about. Because a kid shouldn't be stopped from their passions because they don't have money.
Times like right now though, all I want is someone to fall against, someone to kiss me and listen to me cry, someone to just hold me and not care about my lacking, my failings, but only care that I'm so much a good person, and sometimes even Atlas needs a hug.
and I often find that I'm alone when I'm saddest.