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[xskr4acousticx]

Today waaaas...eh.

Kevin came over around 1, and I had a great time with him.  About half an hour before he left, I got in this weird silent mood...I don't know how to explain it...

We arrived at BLC early, and there were't many people there yet.  I had an aweful feeling when we pulled in, though.  I just felt like I didn't really belong there

Comments

[kissingxanimals]

just to warn you this might be long...if its not then im sorry fo not deleting that statement, im lazy. i dont understand whats different between the last show and the one last night. i know you didnt have anyone to stand with when i wasnt around and i feel terrible for dragging you along to these stupid things. i start to wonder why i even go to them anymore because it just pisses me off. i did terrible tonight, if you didnt notice (im sure you did). so many things go wrong and i dont think it will last much longer anyways. i dont know if you belong at shows, i dont know if i belong at shows, all i know is that we belong together and where ever that takes us im willing to go. the only way i'll be excited about being your mom's new son is if i can have nick's room... but i am still going to remind you that i am here, one simple phone call away. i honestly dont mind if you wake me up from the greatest sleep of my life, if you have a problem i want (and in a way need) to help you. i dont know whats happening lately. you've seemed down.

[xskr4acousticx]

I’m sorry that I’ve seemed down… I’m really not sure why. I guess I really shouldn’t let other people get to me. What was different between the show last night and the show at Deb’s is that at Deb’s everyone was really talkative with me and I had friends there and stuff. At last night’s show, we got there and there wasn’t anyone that I knew very well… plus there were a ton of people there who all seemed to have something against me now. I don’t know…I just felt uncomfortable.
There isn’t really anything wrong at home…I mean, my mom has been letting me do more and I don’t have to see Jeff very often. I do feel bad asking to go somewhere every night, though, because I know she’ll be here by herself.
I went through 4 months of complete happiness, so slight sadness now and then is expected. I don’t want you to think that you can’t help me forget about things, because you still do…seeing you is still a comfort. I love you.