I write these words down..
so that I can try to understand my inner thoughts, and to see if "active thinking kicks in.
Everything is calm now, the day is over. I am tired after a day of non stop movement. Overall it was a good day. Lunch with Juan, Phil, Danny. Then to t-shirt wherehouse.
We then met up with Dessy, and her crippled sister Priscilla.(haha j.k) We walked along the beach, a steady freezing blow from the ocean accompanies us, not leaving us for one bit. Trading jokes back and forth, and different stories of interest at that time. I marveled at the tide pools and such as we continued to walk further. Finally we reached our limit and headed back to the car.
Then it was on to coffee bean. Once again we trade stories and scenarios that make us laugh, Juan shows up and we continue, not skipping a beat. For some reason we end up outside again(still freezing) and walk down to the bottom of the ampitheater, where we stand exchanging stories of relationships past(sexual and other details). We split up from the girls(without a hug) and head to my house. I grab my jacket, and Danny Juan and I are headed to the Outlets.
We arrive and go directly to nike. Juan searches (for what seems like hours) for his shoes. Kellen calls and wants to know if we want to go to pinkberry. He picks us up and were off. The ride there allowed me to sit and try to catch a short nap, but with hardcore music blasting, I found it a little difficult.
We drop off Juan at his car and head to Target in Cammy.(damn it I forgot my mag in Kellen's truck)
Walked around for a bit, and found ourselves staring at the movies for at least 20 min. Discussing our likes, dislikes, good movies, bad movies, quotes, e.t.c. We leave.
So now I lay in my bed, candles lit, worrying about my psychology test tomorrow. Fuck it. Bayside was good, sweaty but good. They didn't play my song. soon I will develop an essay that includes lyrics from bands that when combined, will form(i think) my overall thought of not only what I think I am all about, but my regards to love and life.
Im stoked for that. I need to get back on hydroxycut, because it gets me "emo" and my true feelings come out. The downside being depression. Speaking of which Valentines sucked. I started the day with so much enthusiasm, but by the end my valentine was a forty. Lame. Not doing that again. I like how music makes you feel.
I am trying to better my writing skills, both to write legibly, and be able to describe something in detail so that the reader will know exactly what I am trying to say. Extensive vocabularies are awesome.
Dess is looking hotter everyday. Just going to throw it out there, keep up the good work! Shanty, I really want to help you get in shape. Once again sound body sound mind. Put down the chips! Hopefully you have ran by the time you have read this.(if not...) I can't wait to see your hair tomorrow!
Ah yes, tomorrow. School then Arroyo. I love it there. I have yet to write an outstanding piece, while sitting in my car at the back of the park. The 16th through the 23rd of March? What days exactly? Get back to me. WE WILL RULE IT! and if we have time "soak it in." haha
A friend once told me that I shouldn't care so much when it comes to a girl, that sometimes i just gotta be a jerk. I can't its not in my nature. I care too much. I think about everyone every day. As long as everyone is happy, I am happy.
I want a tape recorder for when I have deep, or thoughtful conversations with people, so that I may go back and write interesting things down. Not for analyzation, but because sometimes I find myself coming to excellent conclusions. Through "active thinking" of course. I also want a little Shant and Dess music mixes. I enjoy Metric, Red Sparrowes from time to time.
Europe is coming fast, I can't believe it. Life changing experiences with friends. Does it get any better?
I think about her every day. How and what she is doing. Glancing into her eyes drives me wild. Her voice is heaven and her presence, a blessing. I've only known her for a short period of time but feel as is i've known her all my life. I feel as if I need to watch what I do and say attentively. Agree with everything she says to make sure I don't do or say anything that would make her stray away from me for fear of losing would be devastation on my behalf. Never in my life would I hurt her emotionally or physically. She's the kind of girl you could never hate, unless she is too beautiful for you to handle. Im always glad to here from her even if she is just blowing off steam. she gets me excited just thinking about her and I am trying to calm these heartfelt thoughts, and jot them down before I lose them. She's perfect(though she may not think so) and vow to keep telling her so as long as this friendship lasts. I'd do anything for her. As usual, with girls I am probably getting myself too worked up. Im a sucker for gorgeous women. These feelings seem oh so familiar. Unfortunately when these feelings have been felt, I have to stop myself. So i think things that will ease me from her grasp, like how opposite we are. That leads me to think of how unique she is and start thinking about her again. It never ends. I'm a hopeless romantic. One who is searching just like others for there soulmate. Showing her affection presents another problem. she knows how much i care for her, but i limit the details of my "love". Little gifts and text messages here and there let her know I am thinking about her, and that I care(hopefully). These images and thoughts in my head won't fade, and I hope they don't. Losing these "emotional contemplations" would be a catastrophe, one that would make me give up on the possibility, and concept of "love". So I hold these feelings inside me. Unmentionable to anyone for fear of judgement, awkwardness, or loss of a great friendship. So I write these words for personal reference. Possibly to be read when Im older(and wiser) to remind myself and make sure I haven't lost faith in "love", or to be brought up at the right place and time to send that special someone over the top and fall head over heels in love with me. reading over this I find myself using the word fear. I will throw in a Deathcab lyric "fear is the heart of love" and realize its the fear that drives me. I will feed on that fear for as long as i live.
Theres more where that came from.. haha
I want to be a sex therapist. Not only physically, but love, emotions and such. My battery is running low. Damn it. Joey needs to get a new charger and stop using mine.
Only you can decide what you want in Life.
New saying, " your going to hollywood dogg, rock on!" (randy Jackson) I dont know why.
Shant-workout, eat right
Russ- you know who your true friends are, dont just put on a happy face, mean it.
Phil- Rachel? haha
Dess-keep working hard
Priscilla- hope your arm heals well, and take a picture when you get it off.
Sal- Hope all is well, look forward to seeing you soon.
Raquel- Hello Kitty floormats at Target
Love you all!
Everything is calm now, the day is over. I am tired after a day of non stop movement. Overall it was a good day. Lunch with Juan, Phil, Danny. Then to t-shirt wherehouse.
We then met up with Dessy, and her crippled sister Priscilla.(haha j.k) We walked along the beach, a steady freezing blow from the ocean accompanies us, not leaving us for one bit. Trading jokes back and forth, and different stories of interest at that time. I marveled at the tide pools and such as we continued to walk further. Finally we reached our limit and headed back to the car.
Then it was on to coffee bean. Once again we trade stories and scenarios that make us laugh, Juan shows up and we continue, not skipping a beat. For some reason we end up outside again(still freezing) and walk down to the bottom of the ampitheater, where we stand exchanging stories of relationships past(sexual and other details). We split up from the girls(without a hug) and head to my house. I grab my jacket, and Danny Juan and I are headed to the Outlets.
We arrive and go directly to nike. Juan searches (for what seems like hours) for his shoes. Kellen calls and wants to know if we want to go to pinkberry. He picks us up and were off. The ride there allowed me to sit and try to catch a short nap, but with hardcore music blasting, I found it a little difficult.
We drop off Juan at his car and head to Target in Cammy.(damn it I forgot my mag in Kellen's truck)
Walked around for a bit, and found ourselves staring at the movies for at least 20 min. Discussing our likes, dislikes, good movies, bad movies, quotes, e.t.c. We leave.
So now I lay in my bed, candles lit, worrying about my psychology test tomorrow. Fuck it. Bayside was good, sweaty but good. They didn't play my song. soon I will develop an essay that includes lyrics from bands that when combined, will form(i think) my overall thought of not only what I think I am all about, but my regards to love and life.
Im stoked for that. I need to get back on hydroxycut, because it gets me "emo" and my true feelings come out. The downside being depression. Speaking of which Valentines sucked. I started the day with so much enthusiasm, but by the end my valentine was a forty. Lame. Not doing that again. I like how music makes you feel.
I am trying to better my writing skills, both to write legibly, and be able to describe something in detail so that the reader will know exactly what I am trying to say. Extensive vocabularies are awesome.
Dess is looking hotter everyday. Just going to throw it out there, keep up the good work! Shanty, I really want to help you get in shape. Once again sound body sound mind. Put down the chips! Hopefully you have ran by the time you have read this.(if not...) I can't wait to see your hair tomorrow!
Ah yes, tomorrow. School then Arroyo. I love it there. I have yet to write an outstanding piece, while sitting in my car at the back of the park. The 16th through the 23rd of March? What days exactly? Get back to me. WE WILL RULE IT! and if we have time "soak it in." haha
A friend once told me that I shouldn't care so much when it comes to a girl, that sometimes i just gotta be a jerk. I can't its not in my nature. I care too much. I think about everyone every day. As long as everyone is happy, I am happy.
I want a tape recorder for when I have deep, or thoughtful conversations with people, so that I may go back and write interesting things down. Not for analyzation, but because sometimes I find myself coming to excellent conclusions. Through "active thinking" of course. I also want a little Shant and Dess music mixes. I enjoy Metric, Red Sparrowes from time to time.
Europe is coming fast, I can't believe it. Life changing experiences with friends. Does it get any better?
I think about her every day. How and what she is doing. Glancing into her eyes drives me wild. Her voice is heaven and her presence, a blessing. I've only known her for a short period of time but feel as is i've known her all my life. I feel as if I need to watch what I do and say attentively. Agree with everything she says to make sure I don't do or say anything that would make her stray away from me for fear of losing would be devastation on my behalf. Never in my life would I hurt her emotionally or physically. She's the kind of girl you could never hate, unless she is too beautiful for you to handle. Im always glad to here from her even if she is just blowing off steam. she gets me excited just thinking about her and I am trying to calm these heartfelt thoughts, and jot them down before I lose them. She's perfect(though she may not think so) and vow to keep telling her so as long as this friendship lasts. I'd do anything for her. As usual, with girls I am probably getting myself too worked up. Im a sucker for gorgeous women. These feelings seem oh so familiar. Unfortunately when these feelings have been felt, I have to stop myself. So i think things that will ease me from her grasp, like how opposite we are. That leads me to think of how unique she is and start thinking about her again. It never ends. I'm a hopeless romantic. One who is searching just like others for there soulmate. Showing her affection presents another problem. she knows how much i care for her, but i limit the details of my "love". Little gifts and text messages here and there let her know I am thinking about her, and that I care(hopefully). These images and thoughts in my head won't fade, and I hope they don't. Losing these "emotional contemplations" would be a catastrophe, one that would make me give up on the possibility, and concept of "love". So I hold these feelings inside me. Unmentionable to anyone for fear of judgement, awkwardness, or loss of a great friendship. So I write these words for personal reference. Possibly to be read when Im older(and wiser) to remind myself and make sure I haven't lost faith in "love", or to be brought up at the right place and time to send that special someone over the top and fall head over heels in love with me. reading over this I find myself using the word fear. I will throw in a Deathcab lyric "fear is the heart of love" and realize its the fear that drives me. I will feed on that fear for as long as i live.
Theres more where that came from.. haha
I want to be a sex therapist. Not only physically, but love, emotions and such. My battery is running low. Damn it. Joey needs to get a new charger and stop using mine.
Only you can decide what you want in Life.
New saying, " your going to hollywood dogg, rock on!" (randy Jackson) I dont know why.
Shant-workout, eat right
Russ- you know who your true friends are, dont just put on a happy face, mean it.
Phil- Rachel? haha
Dess-keep working hard
Priscilla- hope your arm heals well, and take a picture when you get it off.
Sal- Hope all is well, look forward to seeing you soon.
Raquel- Hello Kitty floormats at Target
Love you all!