(no subject)
God, it's been a while. Life sucks. Kind of. I stayed with Caleb in the Delph Saturday night. It was so awesome! Stayed up watching movies with him and his roommate Eric. ERIC...ohmigod! That boy is SO fucking hot. He's, like, Abercrombie boy extraordinare. But, SO hot. He loves Bright Eyes. Has Full Collapse on blue vinyl. He's pretty too. Jeffa, you would so approve. Promise! Much better than the other Eric. Anyway...he wants to do light design for shows. Plays guitar like crazy. Dated Ben Lee or Ben Harper, or Ben someone's, sister. Knows Dave Matthews. Been in like 5 different bands. I listened to one of them the other night on their demo. So awesome. And looks like your typical baseball player. I can't wait to see him this Saturday night. And then on Sunday, Renee, Amber, and I are going to see Jared. And Renee says Jared is so excited I'm coming. He's so lonely down there. I can't wait!
Life without Jeffa here is getting easier. It still sucks so incredibly bad because I'm living with mom still. But, that'll all be changed in a few weeks. Maybe by the time you come back for however long you'll be here, Jeff, I'll be moved out. God, I can't wait to get the fuck out of here. I was going to get a tattoo the day I move out. But, if I move out before you get back here, I'll have to wait because you promised you'd go with me. So, HURRY THE FUCK UP! (just kidding)
Actually, after that message I got last night on my phone, I'm not so sure I want you back here. What the fuck is up with that. Tell me you didn't mean it. Who the fuck tells their depressed friend to kill themself? Honestly...I didn't read it until I got up this morning because I was asleep when you sent it. You remember how happy I was to get that email from you first thing in the morning? I've haven't cried so much after just waking up since the day after you left for Arizona the first time. I never thought you would say something like that to me. I thought you cared about me. Maybe Melissa's right. You never have cared about me have you? Not as a friend at all. You're my best friend. And you don't even give a fuck. Fuck it. I don't even care. Life already sucks, why not add this to my list of fucking depressing problems? Who needs you?
...I do.
It's up to you to make this right. Tell me you weren't the one who wrote that to me. Or that you were just joking if it was you. Fix this. For once, I'm not saying I'm sorry and I'm not going to call you and try to get something out of you. If you do care about me, then fix this.
Life without Jeffa here is getting easier. It still sucks so incredibly bad because I'm living with mom still. But, that'll all be changed in a few weeks. Maybe by the time you come back for however long you'll be here, Jeff, I'll be moved out. God, I can't wait to get the fuck out of here. I was going to get a tattoo the day I move out. But, if I move out before you get back here, I'll have to wait because you promised you'd go with me. So, HURRY THE FUCK UP! (just kidding)
Actually, after that message I got last night on my phone, I'm not so sure I want you back here. What the fuck is up with that. Tell me you didn't mean it. Who the fuck tells their depressed friend to kill themself? Honestly...I didn't read it until I got up this morning because I was asleep when you sent it. You remember how happy I was to get that email from you first thing in the morning? I've haven't cried so much after just waking up since the day after you left for Arizona the first time. I never thought you would say something like that to me. I thought you cared about me. Maybe Melissa's right. You never have cared about me have you? Not as a friend at all. You're my best friend. And you don't even give a fuck. Fuck it. I don't even care. Life already sucks, why not add this to my list of fucking depressing problems? Who needs you?
...I do.
It's up to you to make this right. Tell me you weren't the one who wrote that to me. Or that you were just joking if it was you. Fix this. For once, I'm not saying I'm sorry and I'm not going to call you and try to get something out of you. If you do care about me, then fix this.