(no subject)
today has been a really weird day.
I woke up and went to the Caf Late - they were out of bagels the only thing i eat so i made an english muffin and as soon as i buttered it they brought out more bagels
Tonight Mark said he might stop by and the girls and i went to the pep rally and in the less than 10 minutes that i was there he stopped by. I sat outside for the rest of the night and later went upstairs. I went back downstairs to give kate pudding and coincidently Mark was coming up from the basement. He and i had a nice talk.
I'm all sorts of fucked up. ALL SORTS of fucked up.
I don't care what anyone says I lost my best friend. and i just dont know what to do. I have no one to hold me and no one to cuddle with. No one to call and tell i love. All i have is uncertanty.
know what i might as well bite the bullett and say it, Brian and I broke up, there is no question in my mind, sorry if there was in his, but there shouldnt be. If he doesnt have time for me then i cant do it, I love him so much but its not going to work. I just love the faxct that he doesnt care, maybe he diesnt have time to care, but i fucking do, i fucking here broken up wishing that i had someone to hold me and ya know what i dont, i dont even have a best friend to call and cry to, i have nothing. i want so badly to pull all the pictures off the wall but io cant i cant i cant because i fucking love him and i dont know what to do. Because I DONT WANT THIS TO BE OVER. i want to be with him. I love him. I cant be with him. He treats me like shit and everyone and their brother knows it, he fucking knows it. he fucking knows it. he fucking knows it. everyone knows how bad i am to him......Im fucking stuck here, and here i dont call him here i wont call him
i dont know what to do. I love him. But i cant stand knowing that he doesnt love me enough to call me twice a week three times a week.
I think Im really dead inside. I dont know what to do. It didnt hit me until now, until i realized it was real, until i reaslized how real this is, how i realized that this is what i need i cant be held down anymore, i love him and i dont knwo what to fdo.
like thsi hurts so bad and i cant scream i cant yell i cant even go kick someone or egg his house
I ASKED HIM TO IF HE WAS GOING TO BREAK UP WITH ME DO IT BEFORE I LEFT SO I DIDNT HAVE TO GO THOUGH IT ALONE, AND HERE I AM ALONE
i DUNNo what to fucking do I have NO ONE to cry to
i dont think i can move
I woke up and went to the Caf Late - they were out of bagels the only thing i eat so i made an english muffin and as soon as i buttered it they brought out more bagels
Tonight Mark said he might stop by and the girls and i went to the pep rally and in the less than 10 minutes that i was there he stopped by. I sat outside for the rest of the night and later went upstairs. I went back downstairs to give kate pudding and coincidently Mark was coming up from the basement. He and i had a nice talk.
I'm all sorts of fucked up. ALL SORTS of fucked up.
I don't care what anyone says I lost my best friend. and i just dont know what to do. I have no one to hold me and no one to cuddle with. No one to call and tell i love. All i have is uncertanty.
know what i might as well bite the bullett and say it, Brian and I broke up, there is no question in my mind, sorry if there was in his, but there shouldnt be. If he doesnt have time for me then i cant do it, I love him so much but its not going to work. I just love the faxct that he doesnt care, maybe he diesnt have time to care, but i fucking do, i fucking here broken up wishing that i had someone to hold me and ya know what i dont, i dont even have a best friend to call and cry to, i have nothing. i want so badly to pull all the pictures off the wall but io cant i cant i cant because i fucking love him and i dont know what to do. Because I DONT WANT THIS TO BE OVER. i want to be with him. I love him. I cant be with him. He treats me like shit and everyone and their brother knows it, he fucking knows it. he fucking knows it. he fucking knows it. everyone knows how bad i am to him......Im fucking stuck here, and here i dont call him here i wont call him
i dont know what to do. I love him. But i cant stand knowing that he doesnt love me enough to call me twice a week three times a week.
I think Im really dead inside. I dont know what to do. It didnt hit me until now, until i realized it was real, until i reaslized how real this is, how i realized that this is what i need i cant be held down anymore, i love him and i dont knwo what to fdo.
like thsi hurts so bad and i cant scream i cant yell i cant even go kick someone or egg his house
I ASKED HIM TO IF HE WAS GOING TO BREAK UP WITH ME DO IT BEFORE I LEFT SO I DIDNT HAVE TO GO THOUGH IT ALONE, AND HERE I AM ALONE
i DUNNo what to fucking do I have NO ONE to cry to
i dont think i can move