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[xsaturninex]

so, I'm making this huge step. A step he'll either say he never expected or was just waiting for. I made my decison, and I'm sure eventually I'll go back on it but for now its what i need. Two years. My best friend. My everyfucking thing. I need to remove you from this life now too. I just took you off my buddy list, and now off my friends list. I

Comments

[btchass369]

haha, you're a bitch. i wish i coudl say i hope the best for you, but i tried to give it to you and you turned it into some sort of bi-polar this-isn't-good-enough-for-princess-abby thing. you honestly fucked me up mentally, not worse than you, but enough. i know you probably won't take that responsibility but that's quite alright: wouldn't want you to have to. i'm angry with you, i think i always was and i think i always will be. i don't think i can ever forgive you for how much you have hurt me and changed my outlook on the world for the worse. you took away a lot of my life, and you knew it damn well. it made you feel good, even, to know that you had control.

yea, i wanted to hurt you. i tried. i suceeded, because you taught me how to do it well.

your i love you's were too frequent and fast to be taken seriously most times. i know you meant it sometimes though; so did i. you aren't a fake, really - just not entirely for real. the whole scenario of spending two years with a guy, living them one way, and another with your friends and him proves a lot. they liked my company, mine never liked yours. my friends are, although jerks, sincere. they don't like someone, they'll let you know from the start. yours, well - maybe they'll turn out to be assholes too but only time will tell.

"and that's what you read in the pop-psychology book: love means letting go of fear"

we're not supposed to know what love is, not when we met, not when we died. love is unique to each person, and thus, unique to the person he or she shares it with. love cannot be defined so easily; the above quote is the best way i've found to define it. take it as you wish. but you said you're scared, so...

time is not wasted, it would go by whether spent with a purpose or not. say you wasted it, i'll only agree i did the same. energy is not wasted, it has to be spent somehow, somewhere. if you think you wasted your energy on me, that's your own damn fault. and pain, well. that's just about all i took out of our "bullshit that we called a fucking relationship."

go live your life, the one i gave you, and be happy without me.
god has nothing to do with it.

"You can have power over people as long as you don't take everything away from them. But when you've robbed a man of everything, he's no longer in your power."

- Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn

[xsaturninex]

You never gave me life. Don't take that fucking credit.